1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (Paperback)

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Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Previously available as a booklet in conjunction with a workshop and as a video, clinical psychologist Phelan's simple, effective child-management program has now been issued as a trade paperback. The gist of the plan is to enable parents to discipline children, ages 2 to 12, by instituting a system of counting and time-outs, delivered straightforwardly and unemotionally. How the regimen is used to stop undesirable behavior, stimulate desirable conduct, and cope with children's testing is conveyed in Phelan's candid style, filled with common sense, concrete examples, and lots of reassuring humor. Time-and parent-tested, the methods are applied in identifiable situations (pouting, bedtime, dressing) as well in the all-too familiar incidences of children testing and manipulating their elders. Best of all, the method enables parents to control their kids without yelling . . . or worse. In addition, Phelan covers homework, active listening, self-esteem, behavior in public, and the use of his method in schools. An excellent, workable, and supportive resource for parents and educators. Irene Wood --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

If your child has begun to rule the roost a bit more than you'd like, this book provides a system to get your family operating smoothly. Especially sensible is Phelan's theory that children shouldn't be argued with endlessly to convince them to do what you want them to do. He also wisely points out the best way to get your child to repeat unwanted behavior is to have a highly emotional reaction to it. The plan is simple, and though it's not quite magic, it may feel like it is. -- Susan K. Perry, Ph.D., L.A. Parent Magazine, September 1999

This newly revised second edition provides a fine coverage of effective discipline choices to be used on children ages 1-12. From handling sibling rivalry and arguing to avoiding self-defeating syndromes and reactions, this covers everything from home to public behavior, providing parents with plenty of solid tips which work. -- Midwest Book Review

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Product Details

• Paperback: 175 pages
• Publisher: Child Management; 2nd edition (March 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0963386190
• ISBN-13: 978-0963386199
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (325 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #45,250 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

291 of 306 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars No Magic, but: Sane, Simple, Quick - with no yelling. Yay!, April 24, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: 1-2-3 Magic : Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (Audio Cassette)

I listened to the tape of this book while I commuted. In less than a week I was ready.

Within 5 minutes our son understood the new 'rules of the game'. Within 2 days we had a more sane house. Yes, really.

The discipline of the old days was 'spank your kid', and many of us reject this. The problem is that there wasn't a replacement that worked. So some parents keep spanking, some parents just yell all day. Either way, it's not a happy feeling of control.

The basics of the 1-2-3 method are simple, kid-understandable, quick-to-implement, & quick to explain. (So you can even get care-takers, teachers, cub-scout leaders in on the game - to have some consistency.) But don't kid yourself - the real value is in understanding all of it.

I don't believe I'm actually writing this but - just try it and you'll be a believer too.

I loved the audio tape especially. In the first few minutes of the tape, the initial '1-2-3 Magic' is revealed. I wanted to start that day. Then examples, tactics for multiple kids and reinforcement follow. All of it is key to recognizing your kid's techniques for handling YOU, and creating the sane environment we all wish for.

OK, life still isn't perfect, but this information goes a very long way to getting you out of the nightmare you might be in.

I've bought copies for my sister, my friends, and my church. Every time I see a screaming parent and a crying kid, (or a nasty, defiant kid), I wish I had the nerve to give them a copy.

No, I don't work for the author, but I sure would like to thank him. ;-)

109 of 111 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars There Is No One Single Magic Trick For Effective, June 12, 2003

By A Customer

Tom Phelan has indeed written a sensible, easy to read, discipline book that clearly explains his 1-2-3
Magic theory designed for parents of tots-gradeschoolers. As a veteran preschool teacher, many of the parents of my own students over the years have found success with Phelan's techniques. However, some conscientious but frustrated moms and dads admitted to me that they found themselves between a rock and a hard place as they reached '2 and 3 quarters', '2 and 7 eighth's', etc ...unable to change the behavior of their sometimes annoying, disrespectful, uncooperative kids. Not to
worry...Although your career as a magician may fall short of your goal, you are not doomed to be labeled an ineffective disciplinarian. It has been my experience, both as a parent and teacher, that there is no one single discipline approach that works every time, for every kid in every family. Although I
totally respect 'the count' in this book, I strongly encourage parents to seek out an assortment of strategies that for whatever reason might be a better fit at a particular moment, in respect to age, personalities and parenting style. If you have young kids (2's, 3's 4's,and 5's) who are literally driving
you towards your wits' end with such things as their bad words, 'I hate you's', hitting, whining, parent deafness, tantrums, lying, 'gimmes', mealtime and bedtime refusals, I suggest checking out "The Pocket Parent", a quick read A-Z guide, loaded with hundreds of fast answers and tips to try. The bullets of information (called 'sanity savers') are written
exclusively for preschool behavior and are based on a solid philosophy that maintains a real sense of concern for the needs and feelings of both children and their parents. I highly recommend both books for a variety of workable discipline options that parents (and preschooler teachers) can choose from while trying to remain sane in the process!

110 of 113 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I wish I had read this book months ago!, August 3, 1999

By A Customer

We had tried everything to try and show our 3 year old son who is in charge. We could'nt go to restaurants (or almost and public place for that matter) without it ending in a meltdown and being bitten, pinched and hit by our son. Even at home if he didn't get his way he would bite/hit/pinch/scream. We agreed not to spank, but found ourselves yelling often. Many days I ended up in tears. My son's preschool teacher recommeded this book. I stayed up almost all night one night reading it, and put it into action. It has changed everything! Not only does the counting method really work (I had sort of used my own counting before, but I wasn't following the "no talking no emotions" rule), but we just feel more in charge and in control, which our son seems to sense and respond to. He is much better behaved all the way around, but if he does have a meltdown it is gone right after "that's two". I can't believe what a difference this has made in my house!