1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 [Paperback]

Thomas W. Phelan PhD (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2010 | Series: 123 Magic

This revised edition of the award-winning 1-2-3 Magic program addresses the difficult task of child discipline with humor, keen insight, and proven experience. The technique offers a foolproof method of disciplining children ages two through 12 without arguing, yelling, or spanking.

By means of three easy-to-follow steps, parents learn to manage troublesome behavior, encourage good behavior, and strengthen the parent-child relationship—avoiding the "Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit" syndrome which frustrates so many parents. Ten strategies for building a child’s self-esteem and the six types of testing and manipulation a parent can expect from the child are discussed, as well as tips on how to prevent homework arguments, make mealtimes more enjoyable, conduct effective family meetings, and encourage children to start doing their household chores. New advice about kids and technology and new illustrations bring this essential parenting companion completely up-to-date.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"An excellent, workable, and supportive resource for parents and educators."  —Booklist

About the Author

Thomas W. Phelan, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and a nationally renowned expert on child discipline and attention deficit disorder. His books include 1-2-3 Magic for Teachers, All About Attention Deficit Disorder, and Surviving Your Adolescents. He lives in Glen Ellyn, Illinois.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Parentmagic, Inc.; Fourth Edition, Fourth edition edition (October 1, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1889140430
• ISBN-13: 978-1889140438
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (56 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #157 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #4 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting

More About the Author

Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and the author of 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children, All About Attention Deficit Disorder, "I Never Get Anything!", Self-Esteem Revolutions in Children, and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder. He lives in Glen Ellyn, Illinois.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Changed my life!, July 30, 2011

By 

Stephanie - See all my reviews

This review is from: 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (Paperback)

I have a really independent and strong willed little girl who is pretty sure she knows everything already and is in charge of the home. I also inherited a bad, bad temper from my own father, and a set of unproductive and rage-fueled methods for handling discipline in the home. I was terrified I would squelch my daughter's independence and irreparably damage our relationship, until I read this amazing book. It's a simple, incredibly effective technique that gives parents a rapid response to quietly and calmly shut down any obnoxious behaviour, along with encouragement to provide constant positive reinforcement and love. It has revolutionized my relationship with my daughter, who now knows exactly where the boundaries lie and what to expect when she violates them. I haven't slammed a door since I read the book, and I no longer fear that I'm perpetuating a cycle of anger and harsh punishment. Highly recommend it.

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST read for every parent, April 5, 2011

By 

Jerry FLA "Jerry" (FLA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (123 Magic) (Kindle Edition)

My son will be 12 in a couple of weks and he still instantly reponds whenever he sees a my index finger. I first read this book and put it into action when my son was probably between 4 and 5 years old.

My wife never read this book but saw the amazing results I was getting and I soon heard her saying "one... two...". Neither one of us has gotten to "three" since establishing the 'baseline' when we first started using this system.

Here's basically how we put it to work: When our boy misbehaved I held up one finger and said "one". He had a second chance "two" but at three he got an instant 5 minute time out.

My son found those 5 minutes excrutiating and figured out VERY quickly that:

1. He received consistantly INSTANT punishment at "three".

2. His punishment time was extended for "bad behavior" while in time out.

3. Most importantly, he figured out he had the ability to avoid any consequences by modifying his behavior.

Fast forward 8 or so years to the present. My son has never been spanked or otherwise punished physically. He just got another straight A report card - his usual since he started school. The comment I hear most often from his teachers is that he is a "joy" in the classroom. He's polite and kind and no pushover either: he just earned a second level karate black belt.

I could go on for an hour but needless to say he's turning out to be an amazing person.

I still use the system but nowadays it's usually discreet flash of a "one" or perhaps a "two" to let him know a course change is recommended. The only "three" he has seen in years is fair warning that his dad is about to pounce on him and tickle him until he begs for mercy.

Of course my wife (who never did read the book) will still yell "TWO" when she wants him to do something - but it still works for her.

Finally, use this book - it worked for my family. My only advice is to be certain to "set down the rules" early and consistanly and then let your kid decide what course they take.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The ONLY type of counting that has worked in my house!!, September 7, 2011

By 

F. Garcia - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (Paperback)

The reason why there are different parenting advice/methods out there it's because not one single kid fits the same mold, as well as not every parent discipline their kid (s) the same.

As a parent, one has to sift through all the advice, use your gut feeling, and stick to the method that works.

You have to figure out what works FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. I previously used a type of "Emotion Coaching" method, and it didn't work 100%. It's too much talking, too much explanation, and it puts the majority of the power on the kid, not the parent. It should be the other way around, in my opinion. It just didn't work in our household and with our child. Does that make that method horrible one? NO! I just moved on to the next!

So far, the 123 Magic discipline method has been extremely useful and eye-opening. It has worked in our household, and many of the tantrums/manipulation tactics have nearly dissapeared. So, I do love this book and will recommend it to friends.