Customer Reviews

1-2-3 Magic - Managing difficult Behavior in Children 2-12 [VHS]

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Our local elementary school counselor offered to lend this video to any parent who was open-minded enough to watch and listen. My husband and I borrowed it, and were pleased to find that Thomas Phelan's suggests an approach to parenting that reflects: parents don't need to share parenting control with our children, we ARE the parents! Part-way into the school year we teamed with the teachers to employ the tactics Phelan describes, and watched our boy chose better behavior and attitude, then improve his grades significantly -- without bribing, cajoling, begging, yelling, or concocting exhausting and ineffective 'shared-control' parenting schemes (as prescribed by some other 'parenting experts') to outwit him! We've now purchased it so we can refresh our knowledge as needed.

I've used the "1-2-3 Magic" principles with kids with behavior problems who I was counseling, and my own grandkids, and also used the video in parenting classes which I was teaching to other parents and teachers. These methods really work.

Dr. Phelan presents simple, straightforward methods to deal with kids ages 2-12, with before and after vignettes, and with wit and humor. He covers many problem situations such as a kid acting out when the parent is on the phone or when you're out shopping together or in the car on a trip, always with authority and humor.

I reviewed numerous videos when I was counseling grade-school and high-school age kids who had behavior and/or academic problems, and their parents; I found nothing else which comes close to "1-2-3 Magic" for providing sound principles and methods for dealing with them. This is a complete system for dealing with kids ages 2-12. It also provides a good foundation for dealing with teenagers, though there are some more principles which are needed for teens (and the best source I've found for these principles are in one of Dr. Phelan's books, "How to Survive Your Adolescents".)

I'm a 34 year old, stay at home Mom, trying to raise a 6 year old daughter. She's a very demanding,stubborn,and mature child. I'm also raising a 16 year old with Down's Syndrome,and my husband is away alot with work. Before I saw the video of 1-2-3 Magic,I was at my wits end with my little tyrant,who was definitely running my home. Every supper time was horendous,getting out the door in the morning was the same. She was upsetting the whole family and I'd basically tried everything. She didn't like what was put before her for supper,and never finished it. Her focus was on dessert. Getting up for school and out the door in the morning was just as bad. She didn't have anything to wear and what she did have was stupid,according to her. I tried punishing her with the usual things like "time out",I yelled at her when my patience was gone,I took away her privileges,nothing worked. When I was asked to view this video 1-2-3 Magic,I was skepticle,but agreed anyway. After just a few minutes,I grabbed a pen and paper and started making notes. It was as if Dr.Phlen actually knew me and my child personally. That same day after watching the video,I waited patiently for my beloved 6 year old to come home,and I sat her down and explained briefly,the way things were going to be around here. I picked some things out of the video that was applicable to my child,and instantly started incorporating them. She was appalled that she had to start "paying me" for doing "her" chores,only if "she" refused to do them herself of course. She has also started making her bed before going to school in the morning,and getting better at the supper table. I would definitely incourage all parents to watch this video,it sure changed my family's life for the better. It was a relief! Thank-you Dr.Phelan for relieving some of my stress and enjoying my beloved 6 year old again.

As a school social worker in two elementary schools (the technique is recommended for kids 2-12)I often am asked by parents how they should deal with their child's behaivor at home. The complaint is that the child will argue, refuse, question ("why? Why? Why?!), threatening ("I'll run away"), try to use guilt (" but you let Jimmy do it" ((resist the temptation to say that you like Jimmy better!)) and so on to get what they want. What I LOVE about this book is that it is easy to use! It teachs parents how to recognize what I call baiting behavior and address it in a non-emotional and non-wordy manner.

I have given this video (2-hours in length so get your popcorn ready) to countless parents and I have had NOT ONE negative response yet! If I call to check up on the progress at home and they do tell me things are getting a little rough again I ask them "are you still using the 1-2-3 Majic?" If they say "no, I kind of got away from that". I tell them to get back to using it! Consistency is the key and it ain't hard!

I'd also like to dispell the myth that using 1-2-3 is giving the child three chances to misbehave. This is ridiculous! Children are allowed imprefection, and a simple reminder or warning ("That's one") let's them know that their behavior is inappropriate. If they do it again they may be limit testing but this is developmentally appropriate at all ages ("That's two.) I guarentee you, if you even get to "three" it will be mostly in the beginning when they are trying to see if you will actually follow through with your consequence. And of course if the misbehavior is hitting or something equally bad you don't count from one; you go right to "That's three. Take 5."!

Funny, when I was using this with my 8-year-old daughter she tested me just like they said she might (mocking me in a sassy voice "that's one") I just kept calm and said "That's two". She didn't say a word after that! If you want a simple to follow plan for dealing with back-talk, manipulation, rude comments, begging, etc. that works like majic this is seriously IT!

It is a behavior modification so simple it actually works. I am a believer because of its effect on the whole family. Nobody seems to be the perfect parent, and this video enables you to see your parental decisions, and change them without the criticism. The frustrations, depression and child control fade with continued use. This method has been helpful in the classroom as well as home. Anyone that wishes to take control of their children and have a happy atmosphere must see this video.

My wife and I both work outside the home. Mornings were insane in our house especially getting our 3, 4 and 7 year olds to cooperate just so that we could all be out the door on time. So my wife ordered this highly recommended tape for both of us to watch. Suprisingly, I found it entertaining, informative and specific with things to try. The counting especially worked on our 4 year old. This video held my attention and I liked the fact that I could replay a part to see and hear the exact words to use with my child. Having the specific example portrayed with real live children and their parents clearly and quickly got the point across. "The Pocket Parent" is also a very helpful comlimentary quick reference toddler owner's manual; it is written only for parents of 2's, 3's, 4's, & 5's. It offers alternatives to "time-outs" and hundreds of short bulleted suggestions for every challenging behavior you can think of like bad words, biting, bedtime refusals, sibling fights, lying, tantrums, power sruggles, and whining that can drive you close to your wit's end. We highly recommend this video along with the A-Z trouble-shooting pocketguide.

I have seen this technique work with really hard kids, the kids nothing else works for. Many other parents love the technique; so much so that they tend to STEAL my video and I've had to buy several over the years. The book is simply not the same. The best thing is: it works at my house with my fiesty 4-year old!

I bought the book "1-2-3 Magic" about 4 yrs ago and have been using this method w/ my son since then, very successfully. I then went out and bought 2 more copies, one for my mother and one to lend out to friends, all of whom have thanked me profusely and bought their own copies. It really works, and its easy to use. I highly recommend this method.

I have a 2 1/2 year old son whom I put him in Preschool three weeks ago and I have been called in many times to the school because he was not listening to the teacher/aide. The Director of the school thinks that there is something wrong with his hearing and suggested we get it checked. She went as far as to suggesting us contacting the special needs school. It was a Godsend that this video arrived the same day of the meeting with the Preschool Director. That evening, my husband and I sat down and watched it together (dropped my son off at Grandma & Grandpa's). I thought that it may be one of those boring text book stuff. To my surprise, it was entertaining, organized, and full of real life examples and scenerio played out by actors. Dr. Phelan provides us with very specific way and technique as to how to deal with our son when he does not listen. Dr. Phelan teaches us when we should start counting, when to listen to reasons, and where to adminster time-out. We tried it on our son the very next day and it WORKs - really like Magic. I no long have to yell at him or physically redirect him. It is so much less exhausting and it didn't have to escalate to the point where both him and I were angry. It has been 3 days since, and I only have to count up to 2 - He actually LISTENED!!! I am so delighted and grateful for Dr. Phelan's video. I plan to bring the video to school this Monday and convince them to watch it. If they don't that tells me that they are not willing to work with us and it is not a good preschool and we shall file a complain and go elsewhere.

This was recommended to me by a psychologist. It is an ok video, but not really amazing or anything. Great alternative to physical punishment, though.