The 10 Best Questions for Living with Fibromyalgia: The Script You Need to Take Control of Your Health [Paperback]

Dede Bonner (Author), Dr. Patrick B Wood (Author)

Book Description

Series: 10 Best Questions | Publication Date: September 8, 2009

An indispensable resource that empowers fibromyalgia patients to take charge of a debilitating disease and get the health care they deserve.

Fibromyalgia—a painful, exhausting, and often misdiagnosed disease—affects up to 12 million Americans (90 percent of them women). And because many health care professionals are still learning how to diagnosis and treat its confusing symptoms, patients living with the disorder must become proactive and informed consumers for their own health. The expert advice found within The 10 Best Questions™ for Living with Fibromyalgia gives readers the answers they need to get the best care possible and enjoy a more normal life. This essential book provides the Best Questions that patients should ask their doctors, partners, children, and friends, accompanied by the “best answers” drawn from cutting edge research and extensive interviews with the top experts in the field. There are chapters on what to ask about your diagnosis, test results, second opinions, for ongoing disease management, to lose weight, get more sleep, and to make other healthy lifestyle changes. This practical and holistic book also offers Best Questions and advice for fibromyalgia patients for their relationships with partners, children, friends to ensure emotional, financial, and spiritual health. Each chapter concludes with The Magic Question™, the one crucial question most people never think to ask until it’s too late.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dede Bonner, Ph.D., a.k.a. “the Question Doctor,” is on the graduate business faculties of The George Washington University and Curtin University in Perth, Western Australia.  She is an internationally acclaimed expert in questioning skills and money-saving “Best Questions” for CEOs and other clients.  A former political analyst for the federal government, Dr. Bonner is the owner of the 10 Best Questions, LLC and New Century Management, Inc.   She has a doctorate of education in executive leadership.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Introduction

The most important questions are often the ones you didn't know to ask. Even the best doctors in the world can't give you the right answers unless you ask them the right questions first.

But how do you know what the right questions are? "Ask your doctor." You've heard it a million times, but do you really know what to ask? What if you don't know very much about fibromyalgia yet, feel intimidated by your doctor's expertise, or just simply feel overwhelmed by your diagnosis?

More than ten years ago when my mother suffered a major heart attack, I felt overwhelmed. As I nervously watched her vital sign monitors bounce around, it occurred to me that I didn't know what to ask the doctors about her condition. In that moment of total helplessness, the only thing I had was questions. But I just didn't know what to ask.

I vowed to learn how to ask better questions. When I started taking my mom to her follow-up doctor appointments, I spent time researching her medical options and planning questions for her doctor. I wanted to be a well-informed consumer for her sake so that I could make sure she was getting the very best care possible.

This experience sparked my interest in questioning skills. As I read about questions, I was surprised to learn how little attention most people pay to them. It seems that our society is so focused on solutions and answers that we rarely stop to consider the quality of our questions.

I started teaching questioning skills as part of my graduate level business classes in Washington, D.C., and Perth, Australia. My students liked it so much that I developed the concept of "The 10 Best Questions" as a way for them to learn questioning skills, team dynamics, and research skills all at once. Since 2003, I've taught hundreds of students who have interviewed thousands of experts. For example, my students have researched what to ask when you buy a house, get married, adopt a dog, hire a financial planner, change careers, invest in stocks, retire, plan a wedding, talk to your teenagers, choose a university, and want to have a great sex life.

I conducted a series of interviews with top question askers to learn their secrets. Helen Thomas, the legendary White House reporter, is famous for her press conference questions to every president since John F. Kennedy. She told me, "Before a news conference I would think, What's the best question to ask? I have the courage of ignorance in my questions. I always get nervous, figuring out what to ask a president. But I believe you have to be curious and keep asking why."

Dorothy Leeds, who has authored nine books on questioning skills, told me, "Everything in my life has come about from asking questions, every major change. It's amazing how questions can enrich your life, both from a career and personal standpoint."

Peter Block, an international management consultant and the author of the book The Answer to How Is Yes, said, "There's a deeper meaning to asking questions. It's a stance you take in the world, a desire to make contact and get connected."

I talked with many professional interviewers like Susan Sikora, a TV talk show host in San Francisco; Debbie Nigro, a New York radio host; and Richard Koonce, a journalist and consultant in Brookline, Massachusetts. Each responded with a version of, "You are only as good as the questions you ask." Since then, I've focused my consulting work on helping CEOs and organizations develop their own Best Questions.

For the information specific to this book, I interviewed two former U.S. surgeons general and the president of the National Fibromyalgia Association. I talked with prominent experts in fibromyalgia diagnosis and treatments, sleep hygiene, nutrition, exercise, preventive health, stress, fitness, special populations, smoking and alcohol cessation, and personal, family, and sexual relationships. I also interviewed "everyday people" with fibromyalgia, including Martha Beck, a best-selling author, life coach, and columnist for O, The Oprah Magazine, and Rosie Hamlin, best known for her famous 1960s hit song, "Angel Baby."

So, what are the traits of the best question askers? They are smart, curious, and fearless, yet humble enough to learn from someone else. They value listening and inquiry. Great question askers see every person they meet as a walking encyclopedia of valuable information just waiting to be unlocked by the right questions. And finally, as Albert Einstein once said, "The difference between me and everyone else is my ability to ask the right questions."

The 10 Best Questions in this book won't make you an instant Einstein. And as the Question Doctor, I certainly don't claim any Einstein-like brilliance. I believe that a good mind knows the right answers, but a great mind knows the right questions. Now that great mind is yours. This is a book "for smarties," not for dummies.

Each list of The 10 Best Questions is derived from as many as nine hundred questions from hundreds of sources, including books, journals, worldwide print media, Web sites, and expert interviews. A Best Question has to really earn its title of "Best." I've also included the "best answers" my experts and research provided so you'll know when you are hearing the full story. The information in this book should not replace medical guidance or professional counseling.

There is one more question per chapter that I call "The Magic Question™." A Magic Question is that one great question that even smart people rarely think to ask -- a gut-level question you usually think of when it's too late.

In writing this book, I've taken a practical and holistic approach to fibromyalgia to make you an empowered patient. I want to help with your key decisions, choices, and relationships by suggesting what you can ask your doctors, medical experts, partner, family, friends, and ultimately yourself after a diagnosis of fibromyalgia.

Your lifetime prescription for good health is to stay informed. As former surgeon general Dr. C. Everett Koop told me in an interview, "There's nothing that will lead to better medical care than a knowledgeable patient."

The 10 Best Questions in this book give you the actual script in hand for each major conversation and decision you are facing. Be sure to ask plenty of your own questions, too. Question guru Helen Thomas says, "There's no such thing as a bad question, only a lot of bad answers."

As the Question Doctor, I sincerely hope the following Best Questions will ease your journey and give you the courage to take charge of your own health. Your doctor may be an authority on medicine, but you are the world's foremost expert on yourself.

Copyright © 2009 by 10 Best Questions, LLC

Chapter 1 : The 10 Best Questions

About Your Diagnosis of Fibromyalgia

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

-- Steve Martin

I hurt all over." That's the cry of an estimated 3 to 15 million Americans who are afflicted with fibromyalgia, a poorly understood chronic pain disorder characterized by widespread aches, stiffness, multiple tender points, fatigue, and sleep disturbances. Other common symptoms include depression, difficulty concentrating, numbness or tingling sensations, heightened sensitivity to light and noise, and anxiety.

Fibromyalgia affects mainly women of all ethnic groups, but it can occur in men and children as well. Due to its often debilitating nature, patients' family members and friends are also affected. Many people with fibromyalgia have difficulty fully functioning in their daily lives, including working and raising children.

Millions of people with fibromyalgia have been misdiagnosed with a dizzying list of other ailments. Many doctors are still unfamiliar or hostile to fibromyalgia as a "real disease." Dr. Kim Dupree Jones, a fibromyalgia expert at the Oregon Health & Science University explains, "The average patient sees five or six doctors over seven to eight years to get an accurate diagnosis. People with this diagnosis can be much maligned. They are often told that it's all in their heads."

Martha Beck, well-known fibromyalgia patient, life coach, and best-selling author, recalls, "My twelve years of being in constant pain also had the awful social ramifi cations of being in constant pain that no one understands. You are told you are a wimp and that you are making it up, that you're lazy, that you're hysterical. That was just hell on wheels."

Confronting a diagnosis like fi bromyalgia can be frightening and confusing.

These following Best Questions are ones you may not think to ask your doctor, along with notes on why they're important and the "best answers." The assumption here is that you've recently been diagnosed with fi bromyalgia and are discussing your case with either a primary care physician or a specialist.

THE QUESTION DOCTOR SAYS:

Don't ever hesitate to ask other questions that are not in this book. There truly are no dumb questions, especially for a diagnosis like fi bromyalgia. Don't be afraid to ask the doctor to repeat anything you don't understand. Be politely insistent about getting answers to your questions. This is your body and you deserve to have a well-educated mind inside of it.

GOOD ADVICE FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE NATIONAL FIBROMYALGIA ASSOCIATION

Lynne Matallana says, "It's really important that you bring an advocate with you to doctor appointments, especially in the beginning, because many people with fi bromyalgia have 'fi bro fog.' Sometimes it's very diffi cult to remember what the doctor says. Your advocate can ask questions and take notes for you."

The 10 Best Questions About Your Diagnosis of Fibromyalgia

1. How do you know for sure that I have fibromyalgia?

This qu...

Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Touchstone; Original edition (September 8, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 141656053X
• ISBN-13: 978-1416560531
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,274,818 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars Very good despite a "Questionable" title, February 25, 2011

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Robert Summers (Berkeley Springs, WV United States) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: The 10 Best Questions for Living with Fibromyalgia: The Script You Need to Take Control of Your Health (Paperback)

I did not have too much hope for this book because of the title. However, it offers solid advice and useful scenarios. I don't have the problem but know several who do and I have purchased additional copies to give to them.

4.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommend this book, September 14, 2010

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Jo Worrell - See all my reviews

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This review is from: The 10 Best Questions for Living with Fibromyalgia: The Script You Need to Take Control of Your Health (Paperback)

I definitely recommend this book to anyone suffering with fibromyalgia. Some of the information provided I had already learned the hard way, but still found the references to be very valuable. I like the way the book is laid out because I can refer back to various chapters to address specific questions or issues as they arise. The resources at the end of each section are very valuable.

4.0 out of 5 stars Raises good questions, May 9, 2010

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A. M. Brinkley "elvis_lives_81" (Missouri) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The 10 Best Questions for Living with Fibromyalgia: The Script You Need to Take Control of Your Health (Paperback)

I didn't expect much when I got this book from the library. I was pleasantly surprised when I read the book, however. Each chapter centers around 10 best questions for each problem and at the end of each chapter the author includes a magic section. Some of the topics covered include: explaining fibromyalgia to your children, finding a good doctor, getting better sleep, and financial health after a fibromyalgia diagnosis. The author even included a humorous chapter near the end of the book. I highly recommend this book, but remember that the book poses questions, not answers.