Customer Reviews

10 Commandments Of Dating

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Forget all those books that tell you that men and women are from different planets...this is a book for couples on planet Earth who want to have a long-lasting, meaningful relationship. I was completely engrossed by it from the very first page and learned so much from it. This book gives clear, common-sense reasons why so many relationships don't work, and simple, straightforward guidelines for improving your relationships and finding the right one. It also focuses on what to do when you are single (Thou Shalt Get a Life) to make yourself more attractive to others. Some of the guidelines in this book seem a little radical and "politically incorrect", but when you think about them they really make sense. The book is very straightforward and to-the-point with a healthy dose of humor mixed in. Don't "kiss dating goodbye"! Read this book and go about dating the right way! Whether you are a Christian or not I would highly recommend this book to anybody; it should be required reading for anyone who wishes to get married someday. I'm certain that anyone who follows its guidelines closely will experience satisfying results.

Young and Adams' "The Ten Commandments of Dating" is one of the best books on the subject out there, if not the best. The authors make the subject very accessible, give examples, and show what happens when you break the dating commandments. The 10 commandments of dating are:

1.) Thou Shalt Get a Life. You cannot have a relationhip with someone until your own life is in order.

2.) Thou Shalt Use Your Brain. Don't let hormones and emotional attachment take over your common sense.

3.) Thou Shalt Be Equally Yoked. You and your partner must be equally yoked in physical, spiritual, and social matters if a relationship is going to work.

4.) That Shalt Take it Slow. It will probably cause some inconvenience, but most bad decisions are correctable, with the negative consequences eventually disappearing. However, if you marry the wrong person, there will be significant negative consequences that will last for the rest of your life.

5.) Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries. If you don't, you'll be sorry.

6.) Thou Shalt Save Sex For Later. If you opt for immediate gratification, there will be lasting pain and guilt in the long run.

7.) Thou shalt Not Play House. Cohabitation means enjoying the benefits of marriage without having any of the responsibilities that go along with it. The Houston Chronicle did a study, and couples who live together before marriage are 80% more likely to get divorced.

8.) Thou Shalt Fight Fairly. Handling disagreements constructively is one of the keys to making a relationship work. Read the book to find out how.

9.) Thou Shalt Not Ignore Warning Signs. If you see a red flag, heed it. Don't say, "maybe things will change later." They won't.

10.) Thou Shalt Choose Wisely. Now, apply all of the advice, choose wisely, and find the right person.

This book is excellent. I failed to heed commandments 2, 3, 5, and 9 in a recent dating experience, and I paid the price. Don't do the same. Buy the book and take it seriously.

Finally, REAL stuff, REAL life! I've seen, heard about, read and burned too many relationship books that profess to have the formula for finding true love. THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF DATING doesn't mention the aligning of the planets or how to be popular in a chat room. It does, however, share tried and true guidelines for REAL singles who desire REAL relationships. Learning more about setting clear boundaries early on, fighting fairly and recognizing warning signs, (otherwize known as RED FLAGS) lead me to buy extra copies for some of my single friends. We don't have to continue making the same mistakes. This book didn't teach me that I should act a certain way to attract a mate. It encouraged me to continue developing my own interests, respect myself and those I date and lastly to "take it slow, get to know!"

I've read my share of 'dating' books, most of the time after a relationship has ended in flames (this time was no exception). I've also read a number of 'Christian' advice books about dating, most of which range from the banal (sex is for marriage) to the ridiculous (don't show physical affection ever!), without preaching. I picked this book up in a spate of post-relationship depression and quickly it helped me to identify many of my frequent mistakes.It mentions God, but it doesn't limit the expression 'don't be unevenly yoked' to 'don't date non-Christians'; it includes things along the lines of 'don't be a Mother Theresa in your relationship'. It also identifies one of the mistakes of relationships as being, if you can believe it, 'praying together'--correctly identifying the stupid over-spiritualization of honest to goodness human infatuation that I've seen too often in relationships. (And have been guilty of.)

I read it cover to cover in one sitting at the bookstore. (And wished I had read it *before* I wasted my most recent relationship.) It is also 'worldly' enough to allow me to feel that I can recommend it to any of my friends (Christian or non-Christian).

This book has the most practical, down to earth advice on dating and relationships of any I've ever read. I honestly think this is a "must read" for anyone who wants to understand how successful relationships work.

This book is not a preachy list of loosely-bible-based ideas like "I Kissed Dating Good-bye." Far from it. This book is a list of 10 Time-Tested, Tried and True, Concrete Principles that anyone who wants to have a successful relationship should live by.

Many of the ideas in this book are things that I've always known to be true (Thou shalt save sex for later, thou shall not play house). However, rather than giving an abstract, explanation, they give specific, realistic advice as to what the consequences are of breaking the commandments. They don't say, "If you have sex, you're further from God." That's true, but it really doesn't drive home the specific reason why you shouldn't. Instead, Young and Adams explain, using real life examples, the major pitfalls of why breaking the commandments will keep you from getting the results you want.

Some of the other commandments (thou shalt set clear boundaries) are things I never really considered all that important, but now I hold them in very high regard having read Young and Adams' ideas.

It helped me realize why a lot of my past relationships have failed. Stuff like "Don't volunteer too much info up front" and "Don't lose touch with your friends" are two biggies that I've broken. It was really helpful to see in words what I've suspected was true for so long.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who is thinking about getting into the dating game.

I selected this book to read after recently getting a divorce and found myself back into the dating world after 15 years. As I read the book I saw all the mistakes I made in selecting my first husband and I am determined to do things right the second time around!

First of all, the book is short and concise and it is written in easy plain language. It gives you some insights of what to dos and how you can apply them to your life in order to have a good relationship with your date. This book guides you from dating situation to a marriage and it teaches you which traps you should be aware and how you can avoid them step by step. The author emphasize more about developing a serious lifelong relationship with your date. The book is kinda preachy but I believe authors can have a serious tone when people today dont care about the possible dangers involved in dating.

I wrote my review of this book a little over three years ago (Feb. 4, 2002). Exactly 2 months later, I met the woman was to marry at the end of 2003. I won't go so far as to say that this was all I needed to get over my problems, but I stopped making the mistakes I had made before. What more do I need to say?

In an age when 'hooking up' is almost more common that committed, healthy relationships, and for those that prefer the latter, this book ought not go unread (especially if you are licking your wounds as I was when I read it).

Ben Young (M.Div., currently directs one of the country's largest singles ministries and also hosts the national radio show, "The Single Connection") and Dr. Samuel Adams (Psy.D., a licensed psychologist) have teamed up to produce a compelling, truthful, biblically based self-help treatise to help singles navigate the often murky waters of dating. "The 10 Commandments of Dating" is a direct, sometimes harsh (as truth can be) guidebook that stresses how to make the dating period a time of discernment so you can choose your marriage partner wisely - "Commandment Ten: thou shalt choose wisely."

Christians and non-Christians will surely benefit from the common sense that flows page after page. It has become painfully obvious that common sense is not so common as the divorce rate hovers above 50%. Bullet point summaries at the end of each chapter are quite concise and lucid in compressing the chapter's message of why the aforementioned commandment is important to follow.

"Commandment Four: thou shall take it slow" is an often difficult one to obey in our want-it-done-yesterday New York City minute culture. But true love like vintage wine does take time. The authors Young and Adams provide the effective metaphor of bonding your relationship to the act of building a toy model car. "First, build the engine; then wait a day for it to dry. Next, build the chassis, and wait another day for it to dry. After that, add the wheels and then glue the parts together." You can guess what the next step would be. The process of building a toy model car like building a relationship takes time for the various pieces to bond appropriately. But what happens when we do not delay gratification and "give the glue enough time to dry"? One consequence could be, "You risk entering into a marriage and then one day waking up to see a stranger lying beside you."

"The 10 Commandments of Dating" does not shy away from tackling issues such as living together before marriage ("Commandment Seven: thou shalt not play house") or pre-marital sex ("Commandment Six: thou shalt save sex for later). This slim tome will inevitably raise objections, denial, anger and a host of varied responses as one's "truth" shall be tested and perhaps (if one is honest) exposed as a lie. Following the apologetic's instructions will save singles from pain and heartache. But it will also encourage you to sow correctly during your dating season and therefore reap the blessings of a compatible mate thanks to following God's immutable laws as clearly expounded by Adams and Young.

Bohdan Kot

I have to say this was a very powerful book. It opened my eyes to all of my dating mistakes. I was able to take responsibility for my mistakes, recognize them and vow never to go down those paths again. If you think you can't find that special someone or you can't understand why you keep running into the same types of people, you need this book. I have learned to "get a life" and "not to ignore the warning signs". This book is written from a Christian point of view, however, it is great information for everyone.