32 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
An English girl writes..., June 29, 1998
By A Customer
I stumbled accross this book whilst browsing Amazon.com for other titles. The title naturally aroused my curiosity, having immediately struck an all too familiar chord. What surprised me was that the reviews this book had already received were not that promising. Undaunted, I decided to give it a go.
I could not put this book down!
Having experienced the relationship that is littered with a catalogue of lies, fibs, not-tells and truth-bending, like so many females I just wanted to understand why it happened and how could I try and prevent it from re-occurring. My approach to buying this book was therefore coloured by past experience. However, in reading it, despite its obviously American slant which can be offputting for the English at times, I found it genuinely enlightening. It holds a nub of truth for just about every woman in the world.
'101 Lies...' has also been an amusing conversation starter. People who haven't read it naturally fall into two categories - those that immediately treat it as a bit of a spoof and those whose personal experiences arouse their immediate curiosity - and want to talk about it. Only on reading it will you appreciate what this book is about.
'101 Lies...', as its author declares, is a defence manual intended for women against a barrage of male falsehoods with which we get bombarded daily. But to regard the subject in isolation would be a mistake and this book is more than that. It's an insight into the male AND female mind that can help BOTH sexes understand each other better. As it repeatedly points out: women can lie too and do, although differently than our male counterparts. What this book is not is an arch feminist male-bashing piece about the hazzards of encountering the opposite sex. There are many ways women can help themselves to understand and positively appreciate the men around them. Reading mens' magazines is one example. This book is another.
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41 of 48 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Your Self-Respect Also Impacts Men, June 4, 2002
Although I've read this book years ago, I was drawn towards this book, last night, just to review my notes in the margins, because a man whom I've only went out with 3 times, went out of his way to evade answering my questions.
Every woman should read this book, more than once, because we are conditioned to choke off the truth, when we are starting to date someone new. We want to be nice, and that's good.
But it isn't good if we are nice to someone else, at the expense of our own worthiness.
Men are socialized to lie to avoid their fear of women's anger, because it brings up insecurities in many men, who have spent their lives running away from their emotions.
Because I read this book several times, and because I have written notes in the margins, I am empowered to choose what I want.
For example, if a man say's, "Oh, it wasn't that," he is evading your subject, and his feelings.
And here are 4 reasons why:
1. He wants his thoughts, feelings, and actions to be inaccessible to you.
2. He wants to build upon your good faith and acquiescence.
3. He intends to do what he wants to do, without your knowledge.
4. He has no desire to be accountable to you.
Now, if you turn these reasons around, asking yourself what the long-term affect this would be upon your life, you will notice that you will question your sanity, if you don't confront his dishonesty, and appreciate the persistent rumbling in your gut.
You would also leave it up to him to give you permission to be who you are.
Many women look the other way, because to directly look at these lies, would also lead to confronting some mis-truths that women are socialized and bound by.
But, again, the long term affect is terrible.
So, any woman reading this review, please read this book, and choose to do as I do, let go of any man who desperately needs to run away from himself. Your life is too precious to be his dumping ground.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
It's called limited space, December 28, 2007
As a currently, and very happily, married woman, I found this book quite helpful. Does it have a slant? Well of course it does. Writing a book about the top 101 lies women tell to men would be another whole book, and it's a book I'd like to see if it was written in the same manner. However, this book had a specific, clearly stated purpose, and it held to that purpose. In addition, because of the scope the book covered in depth, it helped me explain what I thought about some of my mate's behaviour in concrete terms, when before I had only fuzzy impressions of why his shutting me out so he could "be responsible" hurt. The author does not hate men, she hates lying in general and the hurt lying causes specifically. Reading through it can help head off serious problems before they start, and ending the relationship is not always the recommended course the author suggests. Many times, honesty about the problem and what is going on is enough, and this book provides good, solid methods for beginning that conversation.
And as for the idea that people, men and women alike, don't lie about STD's, ha. I am a pharmacy technician, and I can't tell you how many patients I've had who got an STD from an unfaithful and dishonest lover. There is a gentleman of my acquaintance who is currently dying of AIDS because his lover neglected to mention an HIV positive test for over a year. Even one out of twenty lovers who lie about this is enough to kill you. Don't take the chance.
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