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101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged Paperback – June 1, 2004

4.3 out of 5 stars 245 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

H. Norman Wright is a well-respected Christian counselor who has helped thousands of people improve their relationships and deal with grief, tragedy, and other concerns. He helps couples bring vibrancy to their relationships through counseling, seminars, and more than 90 books, including Before You Say “I Do” and After You Say “I Do.” Norm also reveals insights for spiritual growth, great relationships, and success in devotionals that include Strong to the Core, Quiet Times for Every Parent, and Truly Devoted: What Dogs Teach Us About Life, Love, and Loyalty. Norm and his wife, Tess, enjoy their children, grandchildren, various pets, and fishing. www.hnormanwright.com

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 144 pages
  • Publisher: Harvest House Publishers; 5.2.2004 edition (June 1, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0736913947
  • ISBN-13: 978-0736913942
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.3 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (245 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,821 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Many of the questions in this book are excellent tools for getting to know your significant other better, as you are contemplating marriage to that person.

The introduction, however, is basically a list of reasons not to get married, with little balance on the other end. For instance, the author quotes Rachel Safier, who wrote a book about women who called off their weddings(There Goes the Bride: Making Up Your Mind, Calling it Off and Moving On ). Safier's book is really popular with women who want confirmation that they did or are doing the right thing in dissolving their relationships; it's pretty one-sided in that way, as are many relationship books. But for people who have a fear of commitment due to family history or other causes, all this does (and all Safier's book does) is provide them with additional reasons to avoid marriage and commitment. Basically, the idea is if you don't feel absolutely certain, then you should dissolve the relationship. He even says something to effect of, if I haven't scared you away by now, then congratulations! Maybe this is because so many couples get engaged when they are still newly infatuated with each other, and not as worried about or simply blinded to the other person's character, background, lifestyle, personality, habits, etc.

Ironically, the author even addresses the fact that some readers may be afraid of commitment later in the book, and he suggests that answering some of the questions may prove helpful in diminishing those fears. But, he should have addressed when he mentioned the reasons to not move forward. It's called balance.

Are there red flags in relationships? Absolutely. He discusses abuse and other potential warning signs that one should look out for.
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Format: Paperback
My wife and I used this book while we were dating. This book was so pivitol in our relationship. This has laid a foundation in our relationship for communication. We have gone through all kinds of trials since, and yet the communication skills were laid early and has allowed us to come through those trials. This is a must use resource for any dating couple who is considering the next step.
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Format: Paperback
This book has some great questions that you might not think to ask. It makes for good conversation and even offers some "advice" after some questions... "Red flags" if you will.

I just completed a pre-marital class and I let everyone know about this book.
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Format: Paperback
First, for those who didn't know, this book is written from a Christian point of view. But there are many issues that are universal to marriage regardless of one's religious background, so if you're not a Christian, I wouldn't discount the book altogether. There's some good conversation starters in here for you as well. Since the point of the book is to get you and your partner talking about important issues that will affect the quality of your potential marriage, I think it fulfilled its purpose in providing some very good topics to discuss, such as money issues, how you would like to interact with your family after marriage, and your overall expectations of marriage. I also like that at the bottom of each page there is an explanation of why the question presented is important for couples to discuss, or suggestions on how to approach the question.

Some things I didn't like about the book:

I like the idea of encouraging people to ask these very important questions before they even get engaged. So kudos there. But, I felt that the author suggested the idea of breaking off engagements even right up to the wedding way too much. Now, if you're in a relationship with someone who has some very serious character flaws (ie abusive, has addictions, criminal, etc) then yes, you should break things off. The author does a good job of trying to keep people from overlooking very serious flaws in a partner, but in the process does too much to encourage a lack of commitment. Engagement is serious business, and you really should be certain before you propose or accept a proposal. Just because movies and tv shows have made it fashionable or acceptable to call off weddings or leave people stranded at the alter, does not mean this is acceptable in real life.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I've recommended this book to no less than 4 friends. I've been married for a year and my husband and I worked through this book while we were dating and engaged. I seriously believe that many people could avoid a bad match if they addressed these questions with a potential spouse before getting engaged. Are the questions easy? Not really, but they are very necessary. Knowing about a persons family life, their values, their spending habits, their parenting approach, and their past relational baggage is not fun stuff, but VITAL if you actually want to avoid divorce. My husband and I just celebrated our first anniversary and we were told the first year is the hardest. It has been wonderful and sooo easy. We've encountered fights and difficulties, but it has been a joy being married to each other. I attribute some of that success to the fact the we covered so much through using this book. I feel that pre-marital counseling could benefit from utilizing this book.
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