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101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged + Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married + The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 144 pages
  • Publisher: Harvest House Publishers; 5.2.2004 edition (June 1, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0736913947
  • ISBN-13: 978-0736913942
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 6.4 x 0.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (122 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,867 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

H. Norman Wright is a well-respected Christian counselor who has helped thousands of people improve their relationships and deal with grief, tragedy, and other concerns. He helps couples bring vibrancy to their relationships through counseling, seminars, and more than 90 books, including Before You Say "I Do" and After You Say "I Do." Norm also reveals insights for spiritual growth, great relationships, and success in devotionals that include Strong to the Core, Quiet Times for Every Parent, and Truly Devoted: What Dogs Teach Us About Life, Love, and Loyalty. Norm and his wife, Tess, enjoy their children, grandchildren, various pets, and fishing. www.hnormanwright.com

More About the Author

H. Norman Wright is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Therapist and he has taught in the Grad. Department of Biola University. He was former director of the Graduate Department of Marriage, Family and Child Counseling at Biola University, as well as an Associate Professor of Psychology. He was also Associate Professor of Christian Education and Director of the Graduate Department of Christian Education at the Talbot School of Theology. At the present time he is Research Professor of Christian Education at this same institution. He was in private practice for over thirty years.

Dr. Wright is a graduate of Westmont College, Fuller Theological Seminary (M.R.E.), Pepperdine University (M.A.). He has received two honorary doctorates, D.D. and D.LIT, from the Western Conservative Baptist Seminary and Biola University respectively.

He is the author of over seventy books including Experiencing Grief, The New Guide to Crisis and Trauma Counseling, Recovering From the Losses of Life, Quiet Times for Couples, and Before You Say I Do. Dr. Wright has pioneered Premarital Counseling programs throughout the country. He conducts seminars on Parenting, Recovering from the Losses of Life, Trauma and Crisis Counseling, and Marriage Enrichment.
His current focus is in grief and trauma counseling and critical incident debriefings. Part of his work is developing curriculum in loss, crisis and trauma as well as community wide Grief Recovery seminars. He is a Certified Trauma Specialist and a Certified Traumatologist.

He and his wife Joyce were married for forty-eight years and he lives in Bakersfield, California. His hobbies include bass fishing, gardening and training his Golden Retrievers, Shadow and Aspen, as therapy response dogs.

Customer Reviews

I know this book has been a great help in giving our relationship the foundation it needs to last.
J+J
The ones you would like to know your partners thoughts on but you don't want to be the one to ask the question... Get the book - read it together! :)
LEJ Leighty
My wife and I actually bought this book after we got engaged, thinking it would be good to do along with our pre-marital counseling.
Ashley Wheeler

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

159 of 164 people found the following review helpful By AvidReader on March 6, 2009
Format: Paperback
Many of the questions in this book are excellent tools for getting to know your significant other better, as you are contemplating marriage to that person.

The introduction, however, is basically a list of reasons not to get married, with little balance on the other end. For instance, the author quotes Rachel Safier, who wrote a book about women who called off their weddings(There Goes the Bride: Making Up Your Mind, Calling it Off and Moving On ). Safier's book is really popular with women who want confirmation that they did or are doing the right thing in dissolving their relationships; it's pretty one-sided in that way, as are many relationship books. But for people who have a fear of commitment due to family history or other causes, all this does (and all Safier's book does) is provide them with additional reasons to avoid marriage and commitment. Basically, the idea is if you don't feel absolutely certain, then you should dissolve the relationship. He even says something to effect of, if I haven't scared you away by now, then congratulations! Maybe this is because so many couples get engaged when they are still newly infatuated with each other, and not as worried about or simply blinded to the other person's character, background, lifestyle, personality, habits, etc.

Ironically, the author even addresses the fact that some readers may be afraid of commitment later in the book, and he suggests that answering some of the questions may prove helpful in diminishing those fears. But, he should have addressed when he mentioned the reasons to not move forward. It's called balance.

Are there red flags in relationships? Absolutely. He discusses abuse and other potential warning signs that one should look out for.
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61 of 62 people found the following review helpful By Michael Rebholz on November 5, 2006
Format: Paperback
My wife and I used this book while we were dating. This book was so pivitol in our relationship. This has laid a foundation in our relationship for communication. We have gone through all kinds of trials since, and yet the communication skills were laid early and has allowed us to come through those trials. This is a must use resource for any dating couple who is considering the next step.
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27 of 29 people found the following review helpful By M. Rotondi on March 10, 2006
Format: Paperback
This book has some great questions that you might not think to ask. It makes for good conversation and even offers some "advice" after some questions... "Red flags" if you will.

I just completed a pre-marital class and I let everyone know about this book.
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30 of 36 people found the following review helpful By B. Hays on September 2, 2005
Format: Paperback
This book was a wonderful eye-opener and was so much fun for my fiance and I to read together. I would recommend this book for dating and engaged couples. It was fun for a date night and when you really want to get to know each other better and to grow together in Christian love!!
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18 of 21 people found the following review helpful By LEJ Leighty on November 9, 2006
Format: Paperback
Know all those questions that lurk around in the back of your mind? The ones you would like to know your partners thoughts on but you don't want to be the one to ask the question... Get the book - read it together! :) What better way to spend quality time?! What better way to approach those tricky questions? All these topics will come up in a relationship at some point, so why not share them together now and be prepared for the day when they do happen?! Protect your marriage, be prepared for the unexpected...be ready to walk hand-in-hand forever thru any situation.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful By C. Loftis on July 8, 2008
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
In my opinion, this book is fabulous. It has allowed my boyfriend and I to discuss some really important topics that may have never just "come up" in daily conversations. I appreciate the comments at the end of each question. They are helpful and add depth to the discussions. It is definitely not a "feel good" relationship book. Instead it is for serious couples that are ready to delve into serious topics such as family history, finances, pornography, children, and past relationships to just name a few.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Skye Jackson on May 14, 2009
Format: Paperback
I recommend this for any christian couple, no matter where they are in their dating/courting relationship. It raised some excellent questions for my girlfriend and me that we probably wouldn't have thought to ask otherwise, and it was a very healthy thing for our relationship. If you're honest and willing to have open eyes with your partner, these questions can reveal some very important details about your significant other that you may not have otherwise noticed, and if nothing else, it can help you two to prepare for the idea of getting engaged. I highly recommend it!
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By ShooterShow on June 24, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Not a difficult read at all. Some of the questions were common sense and yet others very thought-provoking. A very good book not just for christians but anyone contemplating getting married. Who is going to do the finances? Who is going to wash the dishes? How many children do you want? What is your biggest fear of marriage? I wouldn't have ever thought to ask some of the questions in this book, very helpful.
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