on October 4, 2013
The fact that this centuries' trifecta doomsday dates ended at 12/12/12 did not deter the folks at Asylum. Never should the facts stand in the way of a horror film. For some reason "we" were never meant to have a leap year, but rather "we" were supposed to add a month every 120 years. Apparently the creation of artificial calendars has a profound effect on people. On this new calender date of 13/13/13 people suddenly go into a berserker mode for no real reason and people born on Feb 29 are unaffected most likely for the same reason, whatever that is...my guess is angering the calendar god of an extinct civilization.
Okay, it is easy to overlook plot point stupidity in a horror film, especially Asylum. This creates a zombie like atmosphere where a small group of people (in this case 2) must battle against raging hordes of humanity who also like to kill each other and themselves. Jack (Trae Ireland) our main character takes his divorced wife (Calico Cooper) to the hospital leaving his daughter Kendra (Tiffany Martinez) alone with his redneck buddies. When all hell breaks lose he wants to go back home to try to find his daughter who wasn't born on Feb 29...
That is the story. There are gallons of blood all over the place with the opening scene being a sad display of special make-up. There is an unreasonable amount of F-bomb dropping with an uncomfortable scene with 12 year old Kendra crudely asking a grown man if he wants to have relations with her making this unrated film unsuitable for most people.
This is not the direction Asylum needs to go.
Parental Guide: F-bombs. No sex or nudity. Sex talk.
on October 23, 2013
So...Fat Boy Slim, Fat Boy Fat, Flavaless Flav et al return from trip to find everybody gone mad, indicated by incessant swearing and acts of violence. That's it.
This is as repulsive a film as I've ever seen: coarse and crude with nothing going for it. The script, such as it is, is taken up with constant F-Bombs and the scene in the car park leaves you with the impression that it was completely improvised but there's nothing to recommend it; the direction, such as THAT is, is aimless and the characters are completely transparent. While Fat Boy Slim and Fat Boy Fat discuss the Meaning of Life on the sofa, Flavaless hooks up with Tammy Tu-Tone and for an eternity, they try to carry this mess. The trouble is, they don't try at all. Flavaless barely mumbles past a monotone and Tammy screams now and again to liven things up.
But there's no life in this wretched effort, anywhere, ever. It's as full of holes as a sieve and lacks anything that might be construed as imagination. It looks and feels like a bunch of high schoolers keen to get in front of a camera for what they think is their shot at stardom. Or maybe just bragging rights down the pub. You'd have to be psychic to spot any talent in this bunch.
Awful doesn't begin to describe this atrocity but there is some good news. The film actually does end.
Avoid it, please. If you can't, it's $1.20 at in-store rentals but you'll regret it.
on August 27, 2015
This is, hands down, that worst horror film I've ever watched from beginning to end. From the horrible makeup in its opening scene to its odd "Ok, so what the f*** happens now?" ending, I was blown away by how pointless this movie was. Wow. Asylum, stop putting movies out. Stop. Now. This movie deserves -439 stars.
on March 25, 2015
I am going to up the rating to 2 stars because the acting in this film is actually pretty good, considering the script everyone is working with. There is not much going on in the movie, plot-wise. When the Mayan date 13/13/13 rolls around, everyone not born on a leap year date of 2/29 goes violently psychotic. Sane ex-cop meets up with sane woman in a hospital, and they spend the movie escaping from the hospital and trying to retrieve the man's 12 year old daughter, left at his house with his goofy friends.
Movie comes off as "what if everyone started acting like they were in a violent video game?" style action horror. Lots of blood, profantiy, brutal beatings, but no rape or nudity. And women are shown to be just as violent as men. The cover of this DVD is very misleading, as the supernatural content is nil.
on October 19, 2013
There's only a handful of directors who both impress and improve with each film for me. James Cullen Bressack is one of these. My first introduction to his work was the home invasion movie, Hate Crime, which blew me away. That movie has a mean streak a mile long. Next up, I got a chance to see a screener of his follow-up, To Jennifer, which was not only a good movie, but was even more impressive given that Bressack shot it entirely on an iPhone. Suffice it to say, after these two films, I am officially excited for any and everything coming down the line from this guy. Last Wednesday, I got a chance to see his latest film, 13/13/13 on VOD, and once again, I came away impressed.
13/13/13 centers around Jack, a man in the middle of a divorce, who is returning back to civilization with a group of friends after a camping trip. They stop by his soon to be ex-wife's house to pick up his daughter, and find that things are just a little bit off. He finds his wife attempting to remove the skin from her forearm in the kitchen sink, mumbling over and over again. He rushes her to the hospital, only to find even more strange behavior from it's inhabitants. Things begin to escalate, eventually turning into a full blown murderous riot, and only Jack and one other survivor, a woman named Candace, seem to be immune to the insanity. Together, the two of them attempt to escape the hospital, and make it back to his daughter, hoping that she too hasn't succumbed to the madness.
Chaos, plain and simple. That's what 13/13/13 is. Think The Crazies meets the comic book series Crossed, and you're on the right track. Things start off normal enough, but once the s*** hits the fan, there is carnage all the way to the end. Too many times these kinds of movies purposely don't give any answers as to why things have gone to Hell, but thankfully that isn't the case with 13. I'm not going to spoil it like every single other review I've read, so if you want to know everything going into it, check out the other user reviews at amazon.
Performance wise, I think is where 13/13/13 falls a little shorter than Bressack's previous efforts. The movie is much larger in scope than, say, To Jennifer, but I feel like it was a better acted film. That's not to say that the actors in 13 don't do an adequate job though. Erin Coker turned in my favorite performance as Candace, and Jody Barton, who also appeared in To Jennifer and Hate Crime, was once again impressive. One other interesting tidbit about the cast was Calico Cooper, as Jack's wife Marcy, who is actually the daughter of Alice Cooper. Yes, THAT Alice Cooper. Unfortunately she didn't have a big part, I would've liked to see more of her.
13/13/13 is yet another enjoyable flick on the resume of writer/director James Cullen Bressack. It's intensely violent at times, has lots of the red stuff for the gorehounds among us (including some EYE stuff!), and even has a laugh or two thrown in for good measure. I'm the kind of person who doesn't ask a lot from indie horror films, so anytime a 13/13/13 comes along, it's a pleasant surprise. It's entertaining from start to finish, and that's something that a lot of films with much bigger budgets can't say these days. Sadly, plenty of people will see Asylum on this one, and immediately dismiss it, which is a shame. Bressack fans will definitely have a blast, and there's some fun to be had here for fans of flicks like the aforementioned The Crazies, and 28 Days Later as long as you have realistic expectations going in. Recommended!
on September 30, 2013
I'm so glad to have this opportunity to save all my fellow movie buffs in this genre from wasting even a moment considering this horrible experience. What a waste of time. Yes, I rented it and thinking (maybe hoping) by some miracle that it would start having some redeeming qualities - it didn't. The concept doesn't make sense, the acting is worse and the ending....there isn't one. You're left out there in the great abyss to figure it out on your own I guess. Let me wrap it up with a bright red bow so there's no confusion on what I think - I hated it.
If by some mistake you do rent it, like me, you'll see in the first 5 minutes what you're in for the rest of the time - stop the show & select another movie worthy of your time. It's so bad.