Customer Reviews

18 Fingers of Death

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(13)

 

 

I'm glad this movie is in the " comedy " section otherwise I'd not known it was a comedy. I laughed one time. To say this is in anyway as clever or funny as Kung Fu Hustle is like comparing Rosie O'Donnel to Cindy Crawford. I think you get my point.

I think you could take one of those 18 fingers of death and poke your own eye out. That would be slightly more enjoyable then having to watch this movie.

I got to see this movie for free yet I somehow feel I should in some way get my money back. It's the oddest feeling. Kinda goes with the bitter taste left in my mouth after having watched this movie.

Okay, quick story to enhance the review. A friend and I once rented "Invincible" with Billy Zane, we were pretty horrified by how terrible it was. We had a running joke that nothing could be worse. Well, looks like we found it! This is, by far, no questions, the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. I don't know how anyone even paid to create this. I assume it ended the way it did because someone paid them to stop.

Seriously, do not rent this, don't buy it, don't do anything that would encourage whoever made this to make anything like it ever again! This movie will remain in my memory forever as a scar burned that will never be removed.

It seemed to be a completely random collaboration of interviews that mocked actors by slightly altering their names and making jokes that were indecipherable. The parts that made me smile were the ending and the fact that the "stop" button halted my suffering.

If it were possible I would give this a 0 or negative number of stars. I would be able to safely bet insane amounts of money that there is no movie worse. The two main reasons. The actors could actually do kung-fu and were good at it, but they never really did because whoever made this had no idea what they were doing. The other reason, the movie actually exists, and no one could ever explain why.

Please erase this movie from your memory and scorn anyone who ever mentions it in a positive manner. It is the only proper way to deal with it.

The five star rating on this was an error, but amazon won't let you correct such errors after they are made. It was supposed to be 3 stars.

18 FINGERS OF DEATH is the story of kung fu movie fan-boy Ronald Mack (played by Maurice Pata) and his completely irrational determination to make a documentary of the objection of his obssession,the most over-worked, least appreciated kung fu movie "star" of all time Buford Lee. Who? Buford Lee, "The only action star who does his own stunts AND his own hair!" Pity poor Buford. He has made 803 films in his career as a kung fu movie star and yet no one has the slightest idea who he is, or has the tiniest bit of respect for him, facts with which Buford is cheerfully unconcerned. He just wants to keep making his movies. And this is where his problems arise.


In the course of the documentary we meet some colorful characters. We encounter two of Ronald's friends, who may constitute a goodly portion of Buford's Los Angeles fan base, as they ravage a video store in search of lost gems such as his 49th film, THE LEGEND OF YOUNG DRAGON which was released in the US as I'LL KILL YOU UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD. Then there's the beauteous Sushi Cue,a kwailo who nearly gets Buford killed by pushing him off a roof while setting up an advertising stunt for her employer Honorable Fortune Cookies. And of course we also meet Buford's long suffering parents; his proud mother who brags endlessly, and his beleaguered father Pat Morita, (in one of his last film roles)who isn't allowed to say a word in protest.

Every documentary of this kind must also have interviews with all the famous folks Buford has worked with over the years, and their name is legion starting with David Carravousier who played Kwai Shame Kane in the 1970's tv hit BONG FU. Buford was "killed" on that show when Kane accidentally hit him with a staff while Buford's character was sweeping up the temple. An interesting aside is that Ronald had only recently learned that Carravousier was NOT Chinese! What a stunner. He also worked with Steve Seefood, Chuck Snorris, and Billy Buff. The first had little intelligible to offer in his interview since he was eating at the time, the second kept trying to sell Ronald exercise equipment, and the third, well, its just didn't work out. Pun intended.

Its at about this point in the film that Buford's life takes a turn for the worse--the financial backers have pulled out of his latest film leaving him high and dry with absolutely no prospects for the first time in his career. No matter who he tries to impress with the fact that his last film, 17 FINGERS OF DEATH, made $615.31 net profit no one wants to produce his film. Ronald is the one who comes up the big idea that may just save the day. While reading a copy of "Variety" he notices that the Sundance Film Festival has a category for films shot on dvd! Its the perfect answer to everyone's problems; Buford can make his new film, 18 FINGERS OF DEATH, with Ronald serving as director etc, while Ronald can simultaneously complete his documentary on Buford! For Ronald, who has always wanted to work in films, what could be better? The deadline for Sundance is in one week, and Buford has never taken THAT long to finish a movie before so there shouldn't be any problems at all!

Will they be able to complete the film in time? Will Buford finally get the respect he deserves? Will you actually care enough to rent this movie and find out?

Of course not! Pity poor Buford and pity poor James Lew, for this film is actually a comedic autobiography. A look at what 35 years of doing everything from modeling kung fu outfits and demonstrating equipment in martial arts magazines to catch-me-if-you-can cameos on tv's KUNG FU to being killed and/or having his butt kicked by stars including the likes of Kurt Russell, Mel Gibson, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Seagal, Norris, Van Damme, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Charlie Sheen, Brandon Lee, and even Sarah Michelle Gellar for God's sake. And then finally getting his own feature film only to find he isn't even pictured on the front cover! , Rodney Dangerfield was deified.

This is not a parody of the life of Jackie Chan as some have suggested, this is a satire of Lew's own life as he approaches his mid-forties and realizes that it ain't gonna get any better than this, he is never gonna be a big movie star--and that's okay. Like Buford he remains indefatigable and cheerfully optimistic in the face of reality.

So did I like it or not? And should you see it or not? Sure I liked it for what it was-- a silly little introspective movie with some kung fu thrown in. Should you see it? Not unless my reason really turned you on. My rating of 5 stars is another error. Its at best a 2 and 1/2 which I will round up to 3 stars for sentimental reasons.

Lew did have at least one additional starring role; SOUL OF THE AVENGER which co-starred, among others, Mark Pellegrino, Nancy Kwan, Kato Kaelin, Karen Sheppard and Richard Norton. The fact that I'm not reviewing IT should say it all.

Title explanation: Lew appeared in HOT SHOTS PART DEUX as the muscular Thai boxer who spits up his own walnuts after a fight with Sheen. In the first HOT SHOTS we learned that Sheen's character's Native American name translate's to "Fluffy Bunny Feet". On the cover of 18 FINGERS you will notice the not-James Lew-central person is wearing the same fluffy bunny slippers Sheen wore in HOT SHOTS. VOILA! Title explained.

When the creators and distributors of this movie hyped it as a cross between Kung Fu Hustle and Spinal Tap, they engaged in very false and misleading advertising. Which led to more than a few people I know buying into that hype and then feeling blatantly ripped off. There is no comparison between this very, very low budget misfire and the 2 far superior films it didn't come anywhere close to. I realize that hype is part of the movie business. But instead of falsely raising consumers expectations, honesty would have been a lot better.

If you're like me and have spent years admiring James Lew for his contributions to the action genre, then sitting through "18 Fingers of Death" is very much a personal experience, akin to feeling personally ashamed while watching your best friend making a fool of himself in an amateur talent show. This kung fu "mockumentary" is indeed foolish and amateurish as well as painfully unfunny, since it's basically just a collection of the more respected low-budget martial arts stars of our time jerking around in front of James Lew's camera - no doubt having prepared themselves with a shot of grain alcohol beforehand. A glimmer of legitimate satire and personal insight into the feelings of its ever-underappreciated main star is buried beneath a mound of flat jokes, awkward production, and a general feeling that director James lost track of his film long before the credits rolled.

The basis: aspiring filmmaker Ronald Mack (Maurice Patton, For Da Love of Money) sets out to make a documentary chronicling the new film of his action hero Buford Lee (Lew, Balance of Power, American Ninja 5, Red Sun Rising), but when financing for "18 Fingers of Death" falls through, the two must collaborate to independently produce the picture in time to submit it for the Sundance Film Festival and reignite Buford's dwindling career.

It its heart of hearts, the movie is a window into the state of mind of James Lew and what he thinks of his life and career at this point. At the time of this one's release, he was 54 and had been in movies for almost thirty years (Buford's résumé included 803 pictures - almost as high as the real Lew's), doing stuntwork and making others look good but obtaining only a bare handful of starring roles for himself. He'd surpassed fellow martial artist Al Leong as the premier go-to guy for an evil Asian henchman and had been killed by just about every major action hero in the western hemisphere, but his level of recognition was and is still limited to a relatively minor cult following. You have to imagine that with such career experience comes a degree of disappointment and second-guessing, and that's basically what drives the picture. It just sucks that the film spends most of its time lousily poking fun at martial arts B-movies - not to the point that you'd feel stupid for being a fan of the genre, but with enough ineptitude to make you appreciate the comparatively brilliant comedy of Kung Pow.

One thing that bugged me from the beginning is that all of the film's shenanigans are meant to spoof Chinese films, but virtually none of its extensive cast members - including Pat Morita, Robin Shou, Lorenzo Lamas, and Don Wilson - are predominantly affiliated with that medium. Of course, that's the least of the movie's concerns. The breadth of the comedy is merely pointing at the clichés of martial arts movies and exaggerating them to the point that the joke is ruined. A few inside observations - like Hollywood studios' lack of appreciation for stuntmen and the rise of digitally-recorded indie films - are dressed up as jokes but not very well; they're just facts, not gags, and just don't work as funnies. A few harmless celebrity jabs and impersonations might elicit a laugh from folks who dislike Steven Seagal (who likes food and has a ponytail), Chuck Norris (who's old and shills products on TV), Antonio Banderas (who has a funny moustache and speaks with an accent), or Jackie Chan (who apparently hires prostitutes and doesn't acknowledge other performers), but the material itself is lame. Some jokes are just from out of nowhere and have no relevance, like a fight scene throughout which the performers fart. In a couple scenes, the movie makes fun of a stuttering character. If you've got a penchant for the sophomoric, consider this your dreamboat.

Just about all of the scenes are uncomfortably blocked: lots of unnecessary pauses between lines of dialogue. The whole documentary aspect is extremely half-hearted, even though the production obviously isn't rich and could've easily pulled off a minimalist feel. The acting is embarrassingly bad even when it's supposed to be, and virtually none of the characters are interesting - including James Lew's. In the end, it's nice to see that even Lew's fantasy version of himself can't escape the realities of The Business but still ends up with something to show for all of his troubles - we have to hope that James achieves the same in real life, because this film really isn't anything to be proud of. I wouldn't mind seeing the man direct another film, but please, James - take your work a little more serious than this. "18 Fingers of Death" proves that it's possible to deconstruct a movie until there's absolutely nothing left worth watching.

If you have read previous reviews of this...err..."movie", and have found the general consensus to be unanimously in favour of snapping this DVD in to many...many pieces and baking them into a meatloaf for a friend you hate...so that no-one else must suffer to experience even 30 seconds of this gelatenous mind-tripe -

PLEASE HEED THEIR WARNING!!

I know I know....you're thinking...."Whatever dude..I really like cheesy Kung-Fu flicks!"
I do also...and I can promise you that no amount of drugs will enhance this [...]...nor will any amount of good...or even mediocre OK-ness ever come from accidentally slipping this trash into your dvd player.

Mitmitch - (AKA Fuddy Ryale)

I love the stupid goofy movies like Baseketball, Kung Pow, and Dodgeball, but this movie is just stupid. I hope everyone involved in the making of this film was fired...out of a cannon...into a wall.

This movie is nothing to do with Spinal Tap or Kung Fu Hustle.

This movie is, essentially, a parody of Jackie Chan - his life, his movies, his personality. It would be better classed as a film-length Celebrity Roast of Jackie Chan. James Lew, the actor who plays Buford Lee, is actually a stuntman who has doubled mostly all of Hollywood's great action stars including Chan, and is a friend of Chan's. This movie's intention was to demonstrate how hard it is for Asians to break into the film business and a great deal of this film is actually a parody Jackie Chan's true to life struggles that he had making it in Hollywood pre-Rumble in the Bronx. James Lew did a fantastic job of caputuring not only the public essence of Jackie's persona, but the darker side too (by using the spoof character Jackie Chong to demonstrate Chan's major downfall - women, and his little-known foray into music)

If you know nothing of Jackie Chan's life or career, I'd give this a miss as simply put, you won't get it. If you are a fan of Chan and know a great deal about his life as well as his movies, you'll get the joke the filmmakers intended here, and find it hysterically funny. Not one for the casual fan, but a great inside joke.

this is the worst movie ever. I thought "The Muskateer" was the worst..then I rented this. Based on the comparison of Spinal Tap and Kung Fu Hustle found in the review of this movie on the box, I rented it. Whoever reviewed it to be such lost all credability with me for sure. Some of the worst acting I have ever seen. The humor couldnt make a 2nd grader laugh. And this isnt a good "bad" movie either. I love those, and this isnt it.

I waited 1.5 minutes before pulling the ejection lever, and I will lick the wounds to my bloody demise