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365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy Paperback – June 24, 2008

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365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy + Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!) + The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple's Guide
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 270 pages
  • Publisher: Berkley Trade; 1ST edition (June 24, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0425222578
  • ISBN-13: 978-0425222577
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (61 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #503,953 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews


?Charla Muller is the Lou Gehrig of postmarital sex. Or maybe the Louise Gehrig. Whichever it is, I thank her for her inspiring journey.? ?A.J. Jacobs, "New York Times" bestselling author of "The Know It All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World" ?This makes Morgan Spurlock look like a wimp for just eating McDonald's food for 90 days.? ? Celia Rivernbark, author of the forthcoming "Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Scattereed Hissy Fits" --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Charla Muller has worked for eighteen years as a publicist and special events planner. Born in North Carolina, Charla attended UNC—Chapel Hill School of Journalism. Betsy Thorpe, a transplanted New York book editor, met Charla Muller in North Carolina and cajoled Charla’s story out of her. Betsy runs an editorial services company. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

Don't read this book if you're curious about what everyday sex could be like, or what it can do for a marriage that is maybe lacking in passion.
Thankfully Charla Muller had the courage and the pluck to not only come up with the idea of sex everyday, but to write a witty, enjoyable book about it!
I could definitely relate to many of her feelings on intimacy and family and if she can do this then I can certainly make some positive changes too!

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

40 of 45 people found the following review helpful By CaterpillarGirl VINE VOICE on March 18, 2011
Format: Paperback
So what all men want is 365 days of sex, that's it. They want 365 days of being able to lie down with their wives and move their bodies up and down till they orgasm and then roll over and fall asleep. They don't want their wives to actually participate, or be creative, or initiate, or be truly intimate. They just want one step up from self pleasure, and they will be happy.
Well according to Charla Muller that is.
This married, 30 something, mother of two, decided that on her Husband Brads 40th birthday she would SHOCK him with an offer of an entire YEAR of sex. She wanted to give him something original, a gift only she could give him. She didn't want to hand him a new watch, or drive up in a new car, she wanted to endow him with a years worth of intimacy, what man wouldn't want that! But wait there's more, she would also write a book about all of this because according to her, women wanted to know all about this "project".
I picked up this book for a few reasons. One, because I was married for 10 years and our sex life/intimacy was dead in the water. Two, because I am divorced now and with a man who matches me at every level, especially with passion and intimacy and I wanted to see if sex everyday for this couple would match what I was feeling in my personal life. I was curious about how she would approach this "gift", would they be able to spice it up, have fun, discover new erogenous zones, incorporate toys/props, bolster their imaginations, be brave and open themselves up more to each other and bring them closer together? I don't have kids but I wanted to read about how that would effect this "gift".
Charla claims on the front cover "Charla had a wonderful marriage" but I don't think that a marriage that is lacking intimacy, and a healthy sex life is wonderful.
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32 of 38 people found the following review helpful By Margotte Julionsci on January 20, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Some of the negative reviews have been from Northern types who just didn't get Charla at all. I enjoyed reading the book -- obviously, Charla's not a professional writer, but she's honest, and her voice is clear and vibrant. Perhaps not to your taste if you're not a Southern Baptist Republican, but she's putting herself on the line here. Don't expect any explicit sexual descriptions -- there's a somewhat prissy overuse of the word "intimacy" for sexual intercourse, for example. But overall, she sounds like a fun friend and a good mother. No quarrel there.

But-- I admit to being really shocked by her admission of how much she dislikes sex with her husband. She claims all her girlfriends dislike sex too. By the end of the book, I felt really sorry for her husband, who has to beg her to even look interested.

Wake up, Charla! All you gave your husband was the use of the lower half of your body. Spend a year learning to enjoy sex and write another book about that! I have to believe that deep down, that's what you wanted, or otherwise, why would you have suggested the 365 days of sex anyway?
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58 of 74 people found the following review helpful By Diane Schirf on August 29, 2008
Format: Paperback
Charla Muller's epigraph for 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy is from dramatist Jean Anouilh: "To say yes, you have to sweat and roll up your sleeves and plunge both hands into life up to the elbows." Out of its context, Anouilh's quotation summarizes Charla Muller's attitude toward marital sex: It's a chore and a bore. That is why, on the occasion of her husband's 40th birthday, she, in the spirit of self-sacrifice, offers him what she calls "The Gift"--sex every day for the next year. After pages of overwrought mutual analysis about the implications, Brad Muller accepts. In one short chapter, the reader is introduced to what seems to be the most passionless marriage on the planet.

The rest of 365 Nights (give or take a few--mustn't have sex during menstruation, for example) rarely delves into sex or even intimacy, physical or emotional. Our most penetrating look into the Mullers' sex life comes when Charla says, "Wow, that was really nice" (or "yummy") and Brad says, "Could you pretend you're enjoying it?" to which Charla replies, "How 'bout you just close your eyes." Between these flashes of profound love, Charla tirelessly fills the reader in on her rather narrow view of relationships, marriage, parenting, being a working mother (she works two days a week), and how giving her husband what he wants ("The Gift") has somehow made them stronger as a couple. It's not the intimacy itself that seems to bring them closer together, but the sense of sacrifice and the willingness to work to overcome the obstacles--not only Charla's dislike of sex (which she seems to believe she shares with every married mother), but logistics such as work, children, activities, and the need for private time.
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15 of 18 people found the following review helpful By Avid Reader on April 10, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Not worth your time or money. The author uses the premise to discuss almost everything except sex. There are almost no details about the sex-life of the author and her husband. With respect to specific sexual activity, the reader is never informed as to exactly what it is the couple did before or during the 365 days. Even the simplest description of what exactly constituted "sex" during this time period is left to the reader's imagination. Most of the book is devoted to the author's musings on topics unrelated to the title, and her constant use of parenthetical thoughts is both annoying and distracting. A much better, entertaining, and informative book---that manages to stay entirely on point---is "Just Do It" by Douglas Brown.
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