Customer Reviews

365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life

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This is a charming book and a perfect read for the week of Thanksgiving. In his mid-50s, John Kralik is feeling low. His legal firm is failing, he's broke, twice divorced, living in a grungy apartment, estranged from his sons, overweight, plagued by annoying health problems, and his girlfriend has dumped him.

But one day he receives a thank-you note. It's an epiphany for Mr. Kralik. He realizes how few times in his life he's ever thanked anyone and how little a role gratitude has played in his life.

Armed with that knowledge, and a huge stack of stationery, he begins to write thank-you notes. He writes personal messages of gratitude to almost anyone you could imagine: from his sons, colleagues and old friends, to his ex-wife, the building superintendent and the guy who serves him at Starbucks.

Mr. Kralik finds that the act of expressing thanks changes not only him, but his circumstances as well. He doesn't exactly call it karma, but the goodwill he engenders seems to reverse the trajectory of his life. He even finds himself literally at the door of a church (after a bad fall while running) and he decides to go in, regularly. I suspect that had something to do with his turnaround as well.

I guess once Scott Turow picked up a pen, we all realized attorneys can write more than legal briefs. Mr. Kralik writes lovely sentences and abounds in the small observations that make a story ring true. He explores how the act of writing thank-yous is to him what meditation or yoga might be to another person. His relationships blossom and he delights in the company of others, especially his young daughter.

In the end, Mr. Kralik realizes: "With the help of my three hundred thank-you notes, I had examined the life I had viewed as perfectly awful and found that it was a lot better than I had been willing to acknowledge." And that's a great lesson for all of us to learn -- Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I enjoyed the premise of this memoir - that no matter how down and out your circumstances, you can still find ways to be grateful. When John Kralik decides to look for the good, he resolves to pen a thank you note each day to someone who has touched him.

I chuckled at the 'extreme thank yous' where John reaches out to thank Starbucks employees, hairdressers and doormen. After all, 365 is a lot of notes to write, and once you get past thanking people for the obvious big things, then even the little moments become thank you fodder. And not surprisingly, the people who received these notes were very moved by them. It just takes one person to notice a kindness and make someone's day special.

Shortly after the author started sending his notes, good things started to ripple into his life. This is like another version of The Secret (which Kralik does reference), whereby what you focus on, you draw to you. Not every problem in his life fades away; this isn't a fairy tale. But enough positive events occur to make one want to emulate the author.

I appreciated that John was able to take the pressure off himself to do a note a day, and simply plods on to reach his 365 note mark. He realized the importance was in the writing itself, and not in an arbitrary timeline.

Unfortunately the story ends - as too many memoirs do - abruptly. John's story just stops in the middle of his narrative. I gather ending a memoir is probably the hardest part of writing your own story...after all, there is still life to be lived. But still, a lackluster resolution leaves a funny taste in the reader's mouth.

Despite the subdued, sudden ending, I was inspired to start my own "year" of writing thank you notes. I bought a calendar to mark each day and to whom I thanked. I realize it will be a hard task, but I think it is a worthwhile one (I am up to 33 thank yous!).

This is a fantastic book and perfect to inspire some New Year's resolutions. The premise is simple: the author, down on his luck despite the outward appearance of success (i.e., he heads his own law firm), decides to spend the new year writing one sincere thank you note a day.

Some days it's harder to be grateful than others, and he ends up thanking the young man who remembers his name at Starbucks, the doctor who told him to stop drinking, his sons (for a gift and for repaying a loan), his employees (who begin to send each other thank-you notes), and so forth. And while this occurs, even through the tough days (which don't evaporate, of course), he finds that his outlook completely changes. His relationships with others deepen. Old wounds begin to heal. He finds that he does have much to offer the world. He realizes that things he's been stewing over as misfortunes really were blessings in disguise.

Here's an example. Ten years earlier, he went through corrective surgery that left him feeling traumatized. Yet as he focuses on gratitude, he is suddenly able to view the experience in a whole new way: "Here was yet another example of how I always viewed my life's troubles as a series of tragedies, which I survived only due to my Job-like patience and my Jesus-like goodness. I should have been waking up every day of the past ten years with gratitude" (because the pain that kept him up nights is gone). He sends the surgeon a thank-you note and (as often happens) receives a grateful reply for the acknoweldegment.

The book contains just a few of the actual notes, interwoven with the author's narration. The balance is just right. As readers watch him reconnect with old friends and family, they will surely be inspired to grab a pen and notebook---or a Facebook message---and send out a few (or many!) overdue thank-yous of their own.

Bottom line: It's a fantastic story, told in an unsentimental, highly accessible, down-to-earth fashion that's easy to read. This is truly a book to keep on the bedside table and to hand copies out to friends. Thank you, Mr. Krulik, very much.

I had the rare opportunity of reviewing John's book in advanced form when he gave it to me at a family wedding in Idaho a few months ago. When I reflected on the story, the circumstances of his despair, and the path to hope that is his tale, I wondered why I knew so little of it. Wasn't I a close relative? Didn't I have the same upbringing and experiences to claim some present knowledge of his condition? No, was the blunt answer, although I did visit that apartment once, downing a Diet Pepsi in the heat.
I further pondered, then, whether I even deserved the thank you notes that had come hand-addressed to our suburban mailbox over the last year. They were beautifully drafted, upbeat and truly thankful. One could tell that John had spent time formulating his words.
What became so discomforting about those thank you notes, after reading the story, was that I had left them unanswered. Then there were the notes, the many notes, that I should have sent him -- words he truly deserved. John was and is a guidepost and counselor for my journey as a father, family member and fellow lawyer. Good grief, I thought. Where were you when he was going through all of this? He was there for you, countless times. He was reaching out and you didn't respond. I guess we all have our work cut out for us. I was just a silent chapter waiting to be written. Realizing what we have, the value of the people around us and our mission to be part of their lives is a resolution we can all work on in the new year.
When you read this book, especially if you've ever tried to write a short story or essay, you are immediately struck by how able John is at maneuvering his thoughts and observations to paint a picture of his feelings. His writing is just a pleasure to read, complete with a touch of humor when all else seems lost. It's a page turner, comfort food, cream cheese on a bagel. Of course, that's no consolation for those who love and admire John and his achievements and wished we could have been there when he truly needed us, not just when he celebrated his triumphs. Finding his way back to hope certainly wasn't because I or many others close by John were there for him. It was because he found the spirit, when walking in the hills, to reach out to everyone that was present in his life. His thank yous were an invitation, sometimes answered, sometimes not, to join in the fabric of his life and its struggles. They were openers to conversations, emails, visits, chats on the phone -- rays of hope. Will all 365 shine brightly on the path? I guess John concluded that enough of them might. We'll all have to do our part to keep the others lit.
I am amazed by how timely this book is. There are so many folks today without jobs, unprepared for retirement, in need of a lifeline in their illness or misfortune. When one like this is thrown our way, we need to hang on and pull.
Congratulations, John. This is a great read. -- Gipper

My family met John Kralik from across the courtroom during his tenure with the Wall Street firm. At that time my husband was acting as plaintiff's attorney in a highly publicized trial involving a major youth organization. I came across the abridged version of 365 Thank Yous in December's issue of Reader's Digest, a magazine I had neither bought or read for years until given the birthday gift of a Kindle recently. I was drawn in by the story of an attorney, whom on the surface no one should pity, trying to find joy in his life. When I finished, convinced I needed to read the whole book, it was quite a surprise to see his name as author. Even more surprising was turning the TV on one day to a channel never watched at the exact moment he was being interviewed. Yes, a few years older, heavier (aren't we all?) but definitely him. My impression of him when first met those many years ago was of a man not caught up by the vitriole litigation often brings. He was unfailingly professional and courteous. While this book may not be a new idea or on track to become a classic, it is a sincere effort and one to be applauded. Gratitude and compassion are the most valuable gifts we can give to each other. Unfortunately, as Mr. Kralik notes when reading Pollyanna to his daughter, those who espouse such views are often mocked and belittled. I have recommended this book to friends and will continue to do so. The author's message is that each of us are more alike than we would like to believe, and in finding that common humanity we may find peace. The answer is simple yet we make it complex.

It is difficult to write a book with this message without coming across as preachy. John Kralik was able to balance this well and kept the focus on himself and the changes he achieved in his life. Opening up and exposing his personal life in this way was selfless and took courage. This is a gift for which we should all be grateful at a time when it is greatly needed.

Valerie Randall

Different ways of showing gratitude is not new. Writing a thank you note is not new; however, many of us - as the author points out - have gotten away from actually picking up a pen and a note card and really writing something original. We are too easily caught up in either picking up a greeting card with pre-printed words and just signing it - or more lilely - we are too dependent on sending an email or e-card.

This author reminds us of the power of taking the time to really think about another's acts and thanking that person for the act or gift or whatever it was and doing it thoughtfully and personally. In a pleasant and well written style, the author reveals how taking the time to be grateful to those around us changed his life from depression and bitterness to one of peace, and along the way he changed the lives of others as well.

This is a wonderful book, and if we don't take the time to write a note a day, then one can hope that we all take the time to at least write something to someone and to be more grateful for what we have.

You won't get more until you appreciate what you have. That's a lesson John Kralik's grandfather tried to teach him as a child, and a lesson the universe (God?) is trying to teach him now. With his life in shambles (business on the brink of bankruptcy, in the midst of a divorce with his second wife, overweight, disconnected from his kids), Kralik sometimes thinks he'd be better off dead. But a New Year's hike in the mountains near his home in Pasadena leads him to an epiphany of sorts: He won't get more until he recognizes what he has.

So begins his 16-month journey to write 365 thank you notes to people in his life. From his co-workers to his kids to the barista at Starbucks, Kralik hands out these card-sized emissaries of gratitude. And soon the blessings start to return to him.

Does his life improve because he is receiving more, or is he just recognizing what he has? That point doesn't matter. What does matter is that gratitude was the path by which Kralik was able to turn his life around.

I enjoyed tracing his path, complete with mis-steps and falls (some quite literally!). The writing is clear and refrains from dropping into melodrama. Kralik never pretends that writing a bunch of thank you notes can solve all the world's ills, but he is very clear that it helped him -- and can probably help you, too.

John Kralik was "that" friend - you know the one you ask, "Hey! How's it goin'?" and they launch into a litany of everything that is going wrong in their lives? Yeah; that was who and how he was. He WAS going through a lot at the beginning of this book: on the verge of losing his business due to non-paying clients; losing his lease; going through his second divorce; living in a cruddy apartment while paying the mortgages on both his first and second wives' houses; and his girlfriend had just broken up with him.

But in his introspection and growth throughout this book, we see how he realizes that even when things were going ostensibly well, he focused on the negative. At this lowest point in his life, he decides to make a conscious effort to utilize the office stationery (no longer good, since the office is moving and he doesn't yet know where) to write thank you notes and express gratitude for what he DOES have. He calls his older son to get his mailing address so he can send him a thank you for his recent Christmas present; as a result of the call, they make a lunch appointment together, and his son unexpectedly pays back a loan.

This is a real-life story, so obviously just sending thank you notes didn't make EVERYthing all better, but it DID have a snowball effect in a lot of ways, and caused the author to learn and grow. An illustration of how simple acts of gratitude can lead to better things.

This is a fabulous read. Unlike so many self help books, it doesn't preach. It's told in story form. It flows well and is an enjoyable read. The author doesn't go into the spiritual aspect of expressing gratitute but it comes across crystal clear. You get what you give! Give thanks from the heart and you will find blessings coming back to you twofold. It was a very inspiring story that motivated us to start being consistently grateful. Highly recommended.

This is a wonderful book! The life of the author, John Kralik, is not turning out how he had hoped. The book starts with him being in despair as a new year approaches. He decides to write a short, thoughtful thank note EVERYDAY to someone for the entire year. It is NOT a boring book of the thank you notes THEMSELVES, but the wonderful STORY that results from writing them. Loved this book!! I gave one as a gift. Author is a lawyer and an excellent writer.

P.S. This review was written by Gordon Jensen's wife!