Customer Reviews

The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a Divorced Dad

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I couldn't have bought a better present for my hubby, a Divorced Dad--we love reading it together, laughing and crying as we turn the pages of the short stories (most only 2-3 pages long) that speak VOLUMES to us as readers in a blended family. I HIGHLY recommend ALL Divorced and Separated Dads buy this book, or all Stepmoms and other family members and friends who know a Divorced/Separated Dad to buy them this book as a special gift that will be sure to uplift him in a very difficult time. No one feels alone after reading this book!

Joel Schwartzberg's book is real, smart and replete with the universal themes relating to being a dad and man in the 21st century. Schwartzberg writes from his heart but helps us see the light between the heavy. His work breathes air into the concept of reflecting and supports dads everywhere!

Through his collection of short essays, Joel recreates the exhilaration, confusion, awkwardness, satisfaction, insight, and quirk in being a divorced father. Stories like "Lazy Dadurday" offer a glimpse into those special moments and new routines with dad after a split, while others ("Beige Food" and "Sponge Bob Wins") are humorous commentary on the world in which his children live.

Though the main theme of the book centers around fatherhood, there are several chapters that would make anyone smile, not just parents. I mean who hasn't taken their mother to the Oscars, blown off law school or been on the Wheel of Fortune? And Joel's tongue-in-cheek rants against things like the greeting card industry and parking lot etiquette are the stuff of an endearing curmudgeon in the making.

But for all the fun, Humoirs is not just a bowl for sugary cereal for readers to smile over after every bite-sized chapter. Joel balances sweetness with seriousness opening up about male post-partum depression and his son's Chiari malformation diagnosis. His honesty on such weighty topics gives the book a depth that readers can sympathize with without having to give into pity.

Flipping through the pages brought on an eerie familiarity, like Joel had actually been chronicling my own experiences as a newly divorced father. "It took a divorce to make me a better father," Joel states in describing how he found his "inner parent." This is the exact thought I have when spending time with my children, and it gives me a sense of comfort knowing I am well beyond the beginner level of parenting. Humoirs is not just a great read; it also gives a voice to divorced dads working without fanfare to stay involved in their children's lives.

The entire review can be read at Clark Kent's Lunchbox [...].

Joel's humor in this book is so great because it is real. This book will make any father laugh and reminds us all to cherish the short time we have with our kids--divorced or not. I recommend this for all parents--simply a great book!

The 40-Year-Old Version: Humoirs of a Divorced Dad

"In short, it took divorce to make me a better father," writes Joel Schwartzberg early in The 40-Year-Old Version, a collection of forty insightful and humorous essays about fatherhood and life. The topics of these brief essays vary widely over a range of fatherhood experiences, and many of them deal with how he is learning to reinvent himself as a newly divorced father. They range from adjusting to his son's disinterest in playing sports or watching the Super Bowl ("'Nachos help,' I told him."), to his first time dropping his kids off at school as a divorced dad ("Does something about my demeanor shout `part-time parent!'"), to his encounters with children's television ("One fateful afternoon, Charlie and I came upon `little boy catnip' - Power Rangers.") He also writes about many of the other idiosyncrasies of modern life, including greeting cards ("Birthday cards are probably the most popular of all greeting cards, but why do so many of them treat aging past 40 as something that deserves sadistic ridicule?"), his British-accented GPS ("She once disappointed me by suggesting a sudden left turn across a four-lane highway - and a concrete median - to get to a children's bowling party."), and Valentine's Day ("At one Target store, I saw Spiderman valentines, Darth Vader-themed valentine chocolates, and military camouflage tattoo valentines."). The 40-Year-Old Version is filled with honesty and wry humor about the unexpected roads that life and fatherhood can take us down.

Although he touches on it only briefly, Schwartzberg also discusses an issue which is still relatively little-known yet can have an overwhelming and unexpected impact on new fathers: depression. After his son was born he fell into a deep depression that contributed in part to the breakdown of his marriage: "I remember sitting on the hard wood floor next to my son, both of us exhausted and craving a more comprehensible reality. Charlie started crying; then I did. We didn't just cry - we bawled." In time, Schwartzberg and was able to give his depression a name: Paternal Postnatal Depression (PPND). PPND affects 1 out of every 10 new dads (studies suggest that it may be as high as 1 out of every 4 new dads), and is a serious clinical condition that can be crippling. If you suspect that you may be experiencing PPND, there is no need to feel ashamed or to suffer alone. You can go to [...], where you can find more information about PPND, take an assessment test to find out if you have PPND, and find an online community of supportive men.

I first learned about this book while listening to the Michael Medved radio show. Medved somehow got wind of this tripe and made fun of the book on the air. The author - Schwartzberg - decided to call in to try and defend himself (or herself). This Schwartzberg character claims to suffer from - get this - Male Postpartum Depression Syndrome. Male Postpartum. You have got to be kidding me! Anyway, I had to check the book out. What a pathetic book by a really pathetic little creature. Grow up, deal with life and quit trying to invent some new disorder to explain away your faults. Loser. Don't waste your time with this book.

Okay, full disclosure: I haven't yet read this book, but I'm a huge fan of the author, Joel Schwartzberg. I'm an avid reader of Joel's columns in the NJ Star Ledger and the Huffington Post website. It's rare to find an author that so perfectly captures the many facets of parenthood--from the highs to the lows, all with a dose of good humor and keen insight. I'm looking forward to digging into this author's first 'humoir'.

I listened to him pitch his book for an hour on the radio.
I was really disgusted by the man's emotional self indulgence.
Marriage is not to hold people together when they are in love, they will do that anyway. Marriage is to hold two people together than hate each other, but have kid(s) to raise.

He seems like an intelligent, articulate, and upbeat guy.
If you are liberal, you may not be repulsed at his divorcing behavior.

But a person who puts his own happiness over his kid's welfare, is morally repugnant to many of us that are into individual responsibility. We don't care what he feels, we just care about his behavior.
Dr. Laura would roast him.