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50 Ways to Play: A Beginner's Guide to BDSM [Kindle Edition]

Don MacLeod , Debra MacLeod
3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)

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Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC

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Book Description

This simple and highly accessible non-fiction guide to BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, and Masochism) features 50 edgy and erotic adventures to sample and is the perefct companion for the millions of fans of the Fifty Shades trilogy (Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed), the Anne Rice/A.N. Roquelaure Sleeping Beauty trilogy (The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty's Punishment, Beauty's Release) and Sylvia Day's Crossfire novels (Bared to You and Reflected in You). This instruction book for couples contains one warning: you should try this at home!

From turning your ho hum bedroom into a “Red Room of Desire,” to exploring the fine art of Japanese rope bondage—and a few other ideas perhaps better not mentioned in polite company—50 Ways to Play invites couples who might otherwise think of themselves as “average” or “nice” to walk on the wild side. According to husband-and-wife writers Debra and Don Macleod, sex should pack a punch—it’s meant to catch you off guard. The fifty sexy and surprising “ways to play” offered up in this book are guaranteed to turn up the heat in your sex life.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Debra and Don Macleod are the husband-and-wife authors of Lube Jobs: A Woman's Guide to Great Maintenance Sex, Lip Service: A His and Hers Guide to the Art of Oral Sex and Seduction, and The French Maid: And 21  More Naughty Sex Fantasies to Surprise and Arouse Your Man. Their books have been covered widely in newspapers across the country including The New York Times and USA Today and been awarded “Best in Bed” by Women’s Health Magazine. In her various capacities as a marriage and divorce mediator, a couples’ communication and conflict resolution specialist, Debra has helped thousands of couples resolve their problems and improve their relationships. For more information, visit her website

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.


Title Page

Copyright Page



1. A Red Room of Pleasure & Pain

2. Sexual Domination & Submission

3. Delayed Sexual Gratification

4. Behavioral Restraint & Mind Games

5. Bedroom Bondage & Restraint

6. Japanese Rope Bondage

7. The Ottoman Empire

8. Suspended Sex

9. Hold Me Down

10. Sex & Sensory Deprivation

11. Pain & Pleasure

12. Erotic Spanking

13. Flogging Instruments

14. Love Bites & Scratches

15. Nipple Clamps & Toys

16. Feel the Burn

17. When Ice Is Nice

18. Glass Toys & Temperature Play

19. Talk Dirty to Me

20. The Sounds of Sex

21. A Public Power Play

22. BDSM Rituals

23. What Should I Wear?

24. Voyeurism & Exhibitionism

25. Erotic Humiliation

26. BDSM & Self-Pleasuring

27. Rough Sex & Force Fantasies

28. Orgasm Control

29. A BDSM Sex Toy Box

30. The Power Pull

31. Erotic Electrostimulation

32. Tickling

33. Erotic Torture

34. Bondage Positions

35. Crotch Ropes

36. Sexual Positions & Thrusting Techniques

37. Fetishes

38. BDSM & Cunnilingus, Part I

39. BDSM & Fellatio, Part I

40. BDSM & Cunnilingus, Part II

41. BDSM & Fellatio, Part II

42. Anal Play

43. Anal Sex

44. Sex & Mirrors

45. Pornography

46. Erotica

47. BDSM & Defamiliarization

48. A BDSM (Romantic?) Getaway

49. The Softer, Soapier Side of BDSM

50. Aftercare

About the Authors

Sex is supposed to pack a punch. It’s supposed to take you off guard, make you hold your breath for what might come next, gasp with discovery, quicken your pulse and consume you, mind, body and soul. Sexual desire should make you say and do things that you would never normally say or do, and the severity of physical sensations should paralyze you. Sex should set you on fire, so that an unrecognizable shade of yourself comes alive in the smolder.

Take this pop quiz to see whether your sex life is as body-and-mind-blowing as it should or could be.

Pop Quiz

1. Are you physically aroused by the intensity of your partner’s desire for you?

2. Do you find yourself fantasizing about unorthodox sex acts with your partner?

3. Do you feel physically and emotionally exhausted after sex?

4. Is erotic desire a prevailing theme in your relationship?

5. Do you occasionally feel (pleasant) pain or (exciting) fear during sex?

6. Do you regularly lose yourself in erotic role-playing, restraint or rough sex?

7. Do you imagine being “used” by your partner during sex, or using him/her?

8. Do you use a variety of sexual aids to intensely stimulate all your senses during sex?

9. Does your partner sometimes seem like a different person during sex? Do you?

10. Do you revel in the sexual anticipation of what your partner will do next?

If you or your partner answered “no” to any of these questions, you’re not alone. Many couples feel that sex has lost its erotic impact and, if you’re one of them, it’s time to add a few kinky weapons to your after-dark arsenal. Actually, forget “a few” and add lots of them. Moderation is for sexual puritans. There are fifty thrills and chills in this book, boldly borrowed from the world of BDSM—Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism. These edgy ideas are guaranteed to get the juices flowing and the nerves firing like never before. And despite their deviant reputation, they are essential elements of a healthy sex life, even for nice people like you.

For some reason, romance and gentle lovemaking have a monopoly on mainstream sex. Of course, sex should be loving and meaningful. But that doesn’t mean you always have to stare deeply into each other’s eyes or move as one in the missionary position. Consensual rough-and-tumble sex, with a dose of high-sensory kink and BDSM for good measure, is noticeably absent from many couples’ sex lives, and many partners are unhappy with the vacancy. They complain of bland, routine sex lives and crave something harder and faster, something that consumes them with desire, excitement and exhilaration. They want something that injects an erotic buzz into their everyday life and makes them long for nightfall.

Gentle caresses and candlelight can’t always do that. That is why I never suggest romance movies to “spice up” a love life. I can’t think of anything more predictable. Instead, I recommend horror films. They get the blood pumping and the adrenaline flowing. They make you hold your breath and wait for the ax to fall. They bring energy and excitement into your evening. Think of this book as a horror flick as opposed to a romantic “chick flick.” You and your partner can enjoy it together, without any risk of falling asleep halfway through.

Not too long ago, I had occasion to visit a legal brothel in Nevada on business. I was given a tour of the facilities by a friendly courtesan in high heels and a garter, and several of the working ladies showed me their “bedrooms,” which they were allowed to decorate as they wished. The irresistible appeal of the place became tangible the moment I stepped into these bedrooms.

Each prostitute’s bedroom was decorated in classic bordello style. The walls were painted in solid, bold, deep colors—scarlet red or burgundy, emerald green or deep, deep purple. Almost every king-sized bed had a canopy over it, with sheer fabric flowing down to envelop the square of the bed into an even more private and sensual space. The bedding was satin and the air was fragranced with intoxicating incense. There was absolutely no mistaking what was supposed to happen in those rooms. These ladies were professionals at setting the mood.

Look around your bedroom. What do you see? A laundry hamper full of dirty clothes? An exercise bike in the corner? A pile of bills on the dresser? A laptop on the nightstand? Boring beige walls with cheesy, cheap-feeling flower-print bedding? Chances are, your bedroom couldn’t be a less sexy space if you dragged in the toilet, sat on the lid, and started clipping your toenails in front of the person you’re supposed to be seducing.

It’s time to transform your bland bedroom into a spicy boudoir. Get rid of anything that doesn’t scream sex. Throw caution and those interior design magazines to the wind, and roll some cathouse color onto your walls to instantly create an arousing ambience. Add a canopy over the bed, one that can enclose you and your partner within. Trash those flimsy vertical blinds and hang deeply colored velvet drapes that block every trace of light. Lay a luxurious area rug over that oh-so-functional laminate flooring. It’s a raunchier room already, isn’t it?

Because your new bedroom is pulling double duty as an adult playroom, it should also have an “adult toy box” in which you can hide—under lock and key if necessary—some of your BDSM playthings. Find an old trunk at a garage sale and spray-paint it scarlet red or glossy black. Or find a stiff cardboard box with a lid and wrap it in purple velvet. As you read each way to play, you’ll get ideas of what items you might want to put in this toy box (see #29).

Product Details

  • File Size: 981 KB
  • Print Length: 113 pages
  • Publisher: Tarcher (June 29, 2012)
  • Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B008DR7226
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #122,916 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?

Customer Reviews

3.4 out of 5 stars
3.4 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Just Right! July 9, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
I admit it. 50 Shades of Grey, er, inspired me to learn more about the world of BDSM, but I didn't know where to start. Everything else I found seemed either wayy too hardcore or not hardcore enough. 50 Ways to Play is the perfect book for beginners who really want to explore their wild sides- it's very thorough but it's not at all intimidating. I can't wait to try out what I've learned!
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Sex That Packs a Punch July 9, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
This book begins with the husband-and-wife team writing: "Sex is suposed to pack a punch. It's suposed to take you off guard, make you hold your breath for what might come next, gasp with discovery, quicken your pulse and consume you, mind, body and soul." This slim volume certainly packs a punch.

Like a lot of people, I enjoyed FIFTY SHADES OF GREY (and before that series, Anne Rice's SLEEPING BEAUTY trilogy) and it certainly piqued my interest in BDSM. But, frankly, my imagination needed a jump-start when it came to translating fictional erotica into actual bedroom play.

The Macleods cover a wide variety of scenerios from glass toys, nipple clamps, electrostimulation, blindfolds and sensory deprivation, restraints, bondage positions and temperature play to the softer, soapier side of BDSM including lubricants (one kind heats up and another cools down).

I certainly got my moneys worth out of this gem and the 50 chapters got my blood pumping and adrenaline flowing.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
I was offered the chance to review a book called 50 Ways to Play: BDSM for Nice People. I thought it might be interesting since my husband and I have played around with BDSM a little bit but never delved very deeply into it. I decided I had better run it by my husband first though, just in case he didn't share my interest in exploring. His response was a very enthusiastic, "Hell Yeah!" so I agreed to do the review.

We received the book and I wasn't expecting much. It's a rather small book, just a bit larger than a regular paperback, and it's right around 100 pages long. How much detail could they really go into in such a small book? My husband and I had a plan going into the review. We would both read it, discuss our thoughts on the book as a whole, discuss the ideas presented in the book, decide if we wanted to try any of those ideas, and then we would get to the fun part of trying those ideas.

I read the book first and then gave it to my husband. It's a quick read and we were each able to finish it in a couple of hours. We both thought it was a very user friendly book and appreciated the small bits of humor that were thrown in. It starts out with the basics and gives easy to understand descriptions of the methods and tools used in BDSM. I liked that everything was presented and it was up to us to pick and choose which things were appealing to us. My husband was happy to see that the authors covered such a wide range of topics. They went from extremely basic concepts all the way through more advanced practices. We agreed that this book would be good for people just discovering BDSM or with only a little bit of experience. We fall into the slightly experienced category so it was great for us.
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10 of 13 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Weak and very Vanilla November 16, 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
On the tail of another "50 Shades" rip off, and haven't we all had enough already? This trite piece attempts to capitalize on the current mania by attempting to instruct newbies in the art of mommy porn play. if any female or male can learn anything new from this work, then they've been hiding in a cave since birth or had their heads in the sand. Such exciting and new things like "temperature play" applying ice to ares of the Body. This is as daring as it gets, and anyone whose read Sidney Shelton, or seen 9 1/2 weeks would be as bored to death, as I was.
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9 of 13 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars If possible, I'd give NO Stars July 25, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
OMG...I was very leery of this book just from the sample as it looked like an absolute recipe for disaster if read and followed by those who have no other knowledge or experience to draw from (and by knowledge, I do NOT mean 50 Shades of Grey -- which is FICTION). So that I would not be offering my opinion without reading, I bought the ebook and went through it. It's so brief that it didn't take long at all. I am honestly scared that someone might try these activities without any additional knowledge. I can't help but believe that the potential to physically, emotionally or mentally injure someone with the limited information provided is rather great.

Please, if you want to spice up your sex life with BDSM, find a more complete and informative guide than this one.
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15 of 22 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars NOT SAFE!!! July 18, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
One of the other reviews mentions electrical stimulation and sensory deprivation, which can go bad really fast if you don't have a clue what you are doing. The Human mind is a very interesting thing. I've seen people really freak out just from being restrained, having panic attacks and such. There's nothing wrong with spicing up your sex life, but in the BDSM world, our key phrase is "safe, sane, and consensual". There's nothing safe or sane about jumping into something with minimal written instruction.
Look people, if you want to learn, go find a pro. If you want to dabble, well, YMMV.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The title says it all July 9, 2012
By Bri212
Format:Kindle Edition
I admit - I decided downloaded this book because of the title, or subtitle I should say. I consider myself a 'nice person', so this was a fun little introduction to some less nice topics. Yes, it's capitalizing on the success of Fifty Shades of Grey, which I read and liked even though it's not the most well-written of books. But for the price, the book offered some intriguing ideas and was written in a witty, easy style. Definitely a book that I'll be giving as a fun gift to a few brides-to-be in the very near future!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars You may find it amazing what can be considered a BDSM act!!
Reviewed by Deana
Book provided by NetGalley for review
Review originally posted at Romancing the Book

50 Ways to Play is a great on the surface look at the... Read more
Published 15 months ago by Romancing the Book
1.0 out of 5 stars Insulting Title
A friend of mine that knows I am 'kinky' got me this book as a gift. I read the title and was immediately insulted. Nice people? What the heck? Read more
Published on March 24, 2013 by apocrypha
5.0 out of 5 stars BDSM
Good for people who just want to try it and aren't sure. It explains a lot and most in good detail.
Published on January 21, 2013 by Miranda Renee McCabe
4.0 out of 5 stars Very Enjoyable
This book is entertaining, educating and eye opening. It is a quick read about a sometimes dark subject, but they keep it light and informative. Read more
Published on November 9, 2012 by Christine J. Wamsley
5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting
Gives some great ideas to enhance your love life. Some a little more adventurous than others. Definitely makes you think.
Published on November 5, 2012 by Cheri
2.0 out of 5 stars Blah
I was really looking forward to reading this book. Fifteen minutes into it I put it down and haven't picked it up since. I just couldn't stay "in the moment" with it. Read more
Published on October 18, 2012 by bookworm73
5.0 out of 5 stars It gives just what it says it will, awesome job Macleods!
( I received a complimentary copy of the book in exchange for an honest review )
Talking dirty, bondage and spanking was about all I know of BDSM and that's through some... Read more
Published on September 26, 2012 by Niina "For The Love of Reading!"
3.0 out of 5 stars Very useful tips
You will definitely learn a dozen new tricks when you read this book
the good part is that it gives you cheap alternatives to expensive tools- only with the same end... Read more
Published on September 23, 2012 by Mirna K
4.0 out of 5 stars Perfect Way To Ease Into BDSM
The 411:

While I have still not read 50 Shades I have a ton of friends who have and will love this ease you into it book. Read more
Published on August 27, 2012 by M. G. Gagliano
5.0 out of 5 stars Just right for normal couples who want to dabble
We thought this book was perfect intro for couples who want to dabble with some "kink". I don't see what's wrong with dabbling in something different, I think its important to... Read more
Published on July 19, 2012 by Sunshine
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More About the Author

Debra Macleod, B.A., LL.B., is a leading couples conciliator/mediator, relationship author-expert and classicist. Her brand of straightforward, informed and often humorous advice and insight makes her a favorite resource for major media in North America.

Debra's private practice ( and MARRIAGE SOS book series have helped thousands of individuals and couples save their marriages, move past high-conflict issues and keep their families intact. Her intimacy books, which are co-authored by her husband Don, are written for long-term, mainstream couples who are trying to balance emotional and physical intimacy within marriage.

An avid Greco-Roman classicist, Debra is also the author of the NEW VESTA book series ( This book series will be of particular interest to those who identify as "spiritual but not religious" and who wish to bring an intelligent spiritual focus to their marriage, family and home life in order to strengthen these bonds and avoid divorce and family breakdown.

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