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The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship Paperback – April 2, 2002
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The first letters of each of the six secrets make the acronym CREATE: chemistry, respect, enjoyment, acceptance, trust, and empathy. Goulston maintains that relationship problems are caused by a breakdown in one or more of these elements, but if you strengthen the supporting structure in these overlapping areas, you can restore your passion and romance and discover "a new, mature love that surpasses in depth and intimacy all your romantic memories." Whatever the specific problems in your relationship, he says, improving these six areas will help restore your bond.
The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship is like couples therapy in a book. You and your partner will want to work through specific chapters together, which you'll return to often for guidance. You'll learn warning signs that your relationship is in trouble in one or more of these areas, how to communicate about it, and how to repair and renew the relationship. Goulston includes self-tests, exercises, and many anecdotes that illustrate his points. Eye-catching quotes pepper the chapters, such as, "Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions," (Woody Allen) and "Men always want to be a woman's first love--women like to be a man's last romance" (Oscar Wilde).
Goulston is a board-certified psychiatrist and a well-known relationship advisor who has conducted 10,000-plus hours of couples therapy. Goulston and coauthor Philip Goldberg also wrote Get out of Your Own Way. --Joan Price --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Publishers Weekly
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
Author & Book Views On A Healthy Life!
Book Review: The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in Love Again and Stay There (Perigree, 2001) by Mark Goulston, MD with Philip Goldberg
A Classic Feature
Dr. Mark Goulston is a former UCLA professor who helps high performing leaders, senior management and sales people reach their full potential using skills he learned training FBI and police hostage negotiators. He has also written Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, Get Out of Your Own Way at Work, and PTSD for Dummies.
The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship has received praise from John Gray, Ph.D. and Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. The book is based on more than 10,000 hours of couples therapy and has been developed into six secrets for keeping your relationship together:
1. Keep the chemistry burning.
2. Treat your partner with respect--and earn his or her respect.
3. Don't stop thinking about enjoyment.
4. Give one another acceptance despite your flaws.
5. Deserve each other's trust.
6. Always keep in touch with empathy.
"The structure of an intimate relationship rests on six pillars, which are the core of each of the six secrets."
1. C--chemistry (Sex; Romance; Discusses the painful secrets some individuals keep; Tells why we need to feel physically connected. Answers why chemistry waxes, then wanes--explains how to bring this important element back into the relationship.)
2. R--respect (This is where affairs sometimes begin. Warning signs of disrespect highlighted. Tells how to respect yourself and your partner.)
3. E--enjoyment (There is a need for laughter. Defines how baggage hinders enjoyment.)
4.Read more ›
The scene is set in each chapter with questions designed to force you to not only look in, but look from the inside out. If there was ever a text that so deserves to be read by every intimate couple, this is it.
The examples and testimonials bring the advice to life, and the advice is well thought out and obviously honest and workable. Unlike so many booksthat try to reframe our way of thinking about our relationships, "6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship" assist you in working with what is already there and perhaps not understood well enough by the reader to move forward. The intimacy of reading and responding to advice is one of the many joys of reading. Surely having a book like this brings us much closer to our own solutions, and more importantly, closer to the one we love.
Read this book with the knowing that the words, advice, stories, and solutions work. Read it as well with hope and faith. There is something here to help anyone who needs it.
The chapters on respect p 95 to 136 and empathy p258 to 288 were exactly what I needed. My marriage has had difficulty for a number of years but I sure would have loved to have found this book earlier. For those whose relationships are doing well this gives you a reminder of what truly matters and help during the trials which may eventually occur. I also recommend Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson for those who need a bit more perspective on why they get in such crazy fights, but this book finishes the job as far as I am concerned.
I had read a lot of books on marriage and still was having difficulty so I ordered this one along with three others. Thankfully this one (used) arrived first (the others haven't arrived yet).Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Excellent suggestions to build a healthy & lasting relationship. I recommend this book to anyone married or looking for a partner in life.Published 1 month ago by PT
Excellent!!! Since I can't afford therapy at this time :-) This book with helpful suggestions and insights is the next best thing to therapy!!!Published 1 month ago by Tanya
Especially appreciated the focus on communication, respect, and empathy. The author states that if any of the 6 elements of CREATE can be called the most important, it is empathy. Read morePublished 3 months ago by bklyncowgirl
The Six Secrets of a Lasting Relationship, by Mark Goulston, who is a psychiatrist and writer Philip Goldberg lays out a six-step process by which couples can improve the quality... Read morePublished 8 months ago by John Martin
I bought this book years ago and still go back to some important and memorable parts about how to repair a broken relationship, and now my sister has gotten it for her and her... Read morePublished 11 months ago by honey
My husband and I were going thru a difficult time in our marriage but we are both reading this book and I must say it has been a blessing.. Read morePublished 15 months ago by susana ramirez
Perfect advice for anyone looking to mend a strained marriage as well as anyone wanting to strengthen and protect an already good one.Published 18 months ago by Amazon Customer
I am enjoying reading this book. He has some very important technique in the book that will help to have a lasting relationship.Published on April 14, 2014 by Pamela C. Fisher
I bought it for a friend who enjoys reading about these things. It is a good book because she likes it so far.Published on April 9, 2014 by GNick