Customer Reviews

9 1/2 Ninjas [VHS]

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

9 1/2 Ninjas! is a pretty funny spoof of 9 1/2 Weeks and ninja movies. (Yes, that ! is supposed to be there; it's not on the box, but it's in the beginning credits). Michael Phenicie is Joe Vogue, a trained ninja who has to protect Lisa Thorne (Andee Gray) from an evil land developer (Robert Fieldsteel). Some very funny moments, especially in the beginning. Also in this movie is Don Stark, from That 70's Show as Sledge. The only thing bad about this movie is that the tape is EP, and the sounds not that good. Other than that, it's a good buy, although I think it's unfairly rated R.

Now I pride myself on having sat through many a crap movie and enjoyed it (Gor: Hunter from the Future, Outlaws of Gor, Hawk the Slayer, Watch the Shadows Dance and Ninja Wars just to name a few), but this is an absolute steaming heap of sha-it!

At best you will get a few laughs from this hack assemblage of bad slapstick comedy, poor dialouge and parody that even Lesley Neilsen would stay away from.

To summarise the plot for you. Evil real estate tycoon starts buying up properties all over town so he build a huge high rise. Sweet innocent heroine losers her apartment, but a charming hero comes to her rescure. Charming hero turns out to be a ninja master who trains sweet and innocent girl in the art of ninja war fare, while also seducing her with his wit and personality (well not really but if this story was anyway half decent). And that's really as far as I have got.

I have tried to watch this movie three times, but I can't make it past the first 25 minutes it's terrible. The only scene that vaguely redeems the film, is the scene where the villian and the hero are playing marbles. That makes you laugh for about half a second.

Less funny than a Pauly Shore movie. Worse acting than a Hulk Hogan movie, this is not even bad in a good way. Man I should have saved the ten bucks I spent on this DVD, bought a sick pack of beer and got drunk instead, it would have been more fun.

this is a wonderful and funny movie. anyone with a sense of humor will add this to their favorite comedy movies of all time. i only wish it was on DVD. until then i have 2 copies of the VHS in case one gets ruined.