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A.D.D. & Romance: Finding Fulfillment in Love, Sex, & Relationships Paperback – October 1, 1998

42 customer reviews

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Frequently Bought Together

A.D.D. & Romance: Finding Fulfillment in Love, Sex, & Relationships + The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps + Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder
Price for all three: $45.76

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Editorial Reviews

Review

No more of that not paying attention to what your lover is saying. (Diane Eicher Denver Post)

This book aims to provide people with attention deficit disorder and their partners with the essential tools needed to build and sustain a satisfying, fulfilling relationship. (Abilities Magazine)

...offers a set of very practical guidelines to help us understand the patterns that have not worked in past relationships, as well as strategies to find and maintain gratifying love relationships. (Addvance)
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Taylor Trade Publishing; 1 edition (October 1, 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 087833209X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0878332090
  • Product Dimensions: 6.2 x 0.6 x 9.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (42 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #384,109 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

59 of 62 people found the following review helpful By newly diagnosed college student on November 10, 2002
Format: Paperback
i found this book to be extremely helpful. everything i've read deals with what makes someone add and ways to deal with add (ie. meds and orginational skills). being that i was only 17 when i first read it, i did not apply it to any kind of romantic relationship but to realtionships with my parents and my friends. more importantly it made me very aware of some the bad, hurtful habits i have (like interupting) that i didn't even relieze 1)that i was doing it and 2) that they might really be hurting people and my relationships with them.
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181 of 205 people found the following review helpful By Kristina M. Spurgin on August 3, 2007
Format: Paperback
This book was informative about learning the basics of how ADD can affect relationships, from the perspective of both ADD and non-ADD partners. It was the first book I read on the subject, so I learned a fair amount.

That said, there are some things I wish I had known about this book before I bought it. These may not be issues for many, but there are plenty of us out there who would like to know these things:

1. This book is completely heteronormative. All relationships discussed are M/F.

2. The book assumes the relationship in question is marriage or imminently headed in that direction

3. The book assumes traditional monogamy as the only non-harmful form of relationship.

4. As the book progresses there is more and more Christianity slipped in. First there are more and more references to God and praying for help. Then there is a recommendation of the Promise Keepers, and reading the Bible together.

5. The book very strongly recommends medication for ADD partners, with no real discussion of options or strategies for people who may not be comfortable with being medicated. The implication is that if you care about your relationship, you will medicate.

6. It is hard to understand how the three children of the book's "model couple" as a success story of an ADD relationship get taken care of, given all the things this couple do to keep their relationship strong. I read it thinking they must have a live-in nanny, which just isn't realistic for the vast majority of people.

If any of these things are going to turn you off or irritate you, you may want to check out a different book on this topic.
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37 of 38 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on April 17, 1999
Format: Paperback
I found this book to very helpful in dealing with my relationship with my husband and sister who have adult ADD/ADHD. It gave me some useful techniques on how to communicate better with the ADDers in my life. Until now, there haven't been very many books about ADD in relationships. I strongly reccommend this book.
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful By ABG on January 6, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I found this book very helpful. It's pretty packed with content and descriptions of the issues that tend to come up in relationships where one or both partners has ADHD-like issues. It also gives advice about what traits to look for in a partner, if you have ADHD, to make the relationship work and avoid codependency, on the one side, and bankruptcy/chaos (on the other end of the spectrum!) The information is based on clinical experiences and lots of anecdotes make it pretty interesting to read. Warning, though: the first half of the book is pretty depressing, as the author pinpoints all the horrible things that can go wrong in a relationship with an ADHD individual. But, keep reading! The latter half begins to offer solutions and ideas for dealing with the day to day struggles.
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful By California Mom on November 4, 2006
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The author has ADD and speaks from experience. This really helped identify and explain a lot of "issues" in my marriage. The book is primarily aimed at the non-ADD spouse, but is also written for the ADD spouse to read as well. Examples from real life help illustrate his points, and help the reader identify the behavior. The author does lean toward "pro-med," but doesn't exclude behavioral therapy. I found this book to be extremely helpful in understanding my ADD spouse and learning how to deal with his "symptoms." The book is also very informative for the ADD spouse to learn what they're doing that's hurting their spouse and how to learn NOT to do it, or at least not as badly, or at least how to recognize that they did hurt and to make it up.
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40 of 45 people found the following review helpful By Roland Rotz on February 16, 2000
Format: Paperback
Jonathan Halverstadt reaches deep to address a very difficult subject. Following an overview of how ADD plays out in relationships, he quickly moves to areas we often prefer to not think about: How can someone with ADD possibly be responsible and accountable in their relationships. Using many examples to address these issues in sensitive and practical terms from the ADD and non-ADD partner perspective, he covers many strategies that range from medication to therapy to practical hints. Most valuable is his understanding of what it takes to turn a relationship around and make it thrive! This should be the textbook used in your next class.
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35 of 39 people found the following review helpful By george renno on November 26, 2002
Format: Paperback
A.D.D. & Romance is a "Must Read" if you have Attention Deficit Disorder and you are involved in a romantic relationship!
This easy to read book is a "gold mine" of practical information that can be used by folks who have ADD as well as their partners to enrich their romantic relationship(s).
Jonathan Scott Halverstadt, M.S. is up to date on the latest research and theory related to attention deficit disorder. He speaks "from the heart" and I guarantee you this book is just "packed with information" that will help you to understand your own romantic behavior and will give you lots of tips and strategies to make the most of your romantic relationship(s).
I've read at least ten books on ADD and many of them were very helpful to me. However, A.D.D. & Romance by Jonathan Scott Halverstadt, M.S. is by far the best book I've read on the subject of ADD and romance.
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