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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Father's Tears: A Generous Gift from the Heart, October 14, 2012
This review is from: A Father's Tears (Paperback)
"I pity the man that doesn't possess the capability or knowledge and strength to show and be able to deal with grief. These flashes of grief caused by quick triggers like music or a certain smell are very difficult and sometimes impossible to quell. The floodgates will open and the storm of tears will begin. And it can happen if you are alone, on a bus or in a board meeting with your colleagues watching you fall completely apart. If you think you can control it, think again."

A Father's Tears tells the heartbreaking story of how David McColl, his wife Monica and his daughter Alanna lost their beloved son and brother Anthony (Tony) in a horrific car crash a little over one month following the celebration of his 19th birthday. It is a deeply moving account of the unimaginable experience David and his family endured on the morning they received "The Call" and heard the news that Anthony had been taken from this world far too early; a touching--and often humorous--homage to the sensitive and 'spirited child' who became a wonderful young man full of love, compassion and kindness who touched the lives of so many during his short life (inspiring, among other tributes, the spontaneous establishment of the 'Tony's Promise' campaign within hours of his passing); and a deeply personal account of how a family, beset by the worst kind of tragedy, manages to pick up the pieces of its shattered life.

Most poignantly, however, it is an honest and courageous account that David wrote in part to help himself through the painful and complex process known as grieving, but equally importantly to share the lessons learned throughout his personal experience for the benefit of others. While he and his family will likely never fully awake from the nightmare no family can ever imagine without experiencing it, the book describes a sincere and conscious rejection of self-pity, anger and blame, replaced by a steadfast and selfless commitment to raising awareness, particularly among young people, of the potentially devastating impact of distracted driving.

Nor does David accept society's expectations that men don't, can't, and/or shouldn't cry. By refusing to accept this absurd notion, David has opened the door to other grieving men to give themselves permission to shed tears: "I feel that I've given myself permission to cry, and that's a good thing. When I cry, I win. My grief does not." This is truly a beautiful book,one that I couldn't put down; a generous gift from the heart of a man whose life has changed forever.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Father's Tears, October 17, 2012
This review is from: A Father's Tears (Paperback)
How rare for a father to share his grief at the loss of a child! A Father's Tears is a wonderful resource on many levels for anyone who has suffered such a devastating tragedy. David McColl manages to put into words the shock and heartbreak that men of his 'stiff upper lip' generation find so hard to express. In letting us in on his very personal feelings, he is sharing something very wise: at times of terrible tragedy, it is normal and healthy to show vulnerability, and that families need each other's patience and support to be able to grieve in their own way, if they are to go forward with strength.

My heart ached when I read David's story, but it is an inspiration to hear how he and his family have coped with the loss of their beloved Anthony with honesty, love and even humour. I often wonder how people manage to turn tragedy into something positive -- A Father's Tears gives remarkable insight into how David McColl and his family are doing that. It is a wonderful tribute to his son.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A Father's Tears, October 11, 2012
This review is from: A Father's Tears (Paperback)
What would you do at the tragic loss of a child? David McColl describes his journey that started with the unexpected death of his son Tony. He shares his shock, his grief and his emotional turmoil. More importantly, his ultimate decision to make the death of his son meaningful - and the affirmation of his love for his son through the fulfillment of 'Tony's Promise'.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Heart Wrenching From a Man's Point of View, October 5, 2012
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This review is from: A Father's Tears (Paperback)
David's book is a heart wrenching account of how he and his family coped with the tragic death of his nineteen year old son Anthony. He lays his soul bare as the reader is taken from the initial devastating phone call through the myriad of arrangements that no parent should ever have to make for their child. Ultimately, through their anguish, David and his family, together with Anthony's true blue friends, come together to create a tribute to "Tony" that literally spans the world. I simply could not put this book down.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A compelling and courageous story., October 3, 2012
This review is from: A Father's Tears (Paperback)
I have watched the McColls' story unfold over the past 1.5 years, and I am in awe of the courage it took to write this compelling and beautifully written book.

The loss of a child is too much to contemplate: When the loss is completely avoidable, as was the case with the car collision that took young Tony McColl's life, a parent's emotions could quickly turn from shock and grief to outrage and blame.

In "A Father's Tears", David McColl and his family took the high road, and this is what makes the story one to remember, one to share and one to discuss. What would you do if this happened to your family? Or a neighbours' family? Or your child's school friend?

This book is a remarkable telling of how a family, friends, an entire community and even strangers, came together to support the McColls in a time of tragedy. The book clearly illustrates how the aftermath of drinking and driving deeply affects us all.

Father's are stereotypically supposed to be ""strong and silent". This is an unusual book, in that David McColl is both vulnerable and vocal about the roller-coaster of emotions, and the surreal situations he, his wife Monica and teenage daughter Alanna had to handle in the wake of a worst case scenario turned reality.

And herein lies the strength of "A Father's Tears": McColl's writing stands out as it displays his heart-wrenching sorrow, along with his pragmatism, foresight and insight, when most of us would be dumbed and numbed by the pain. McColl's sense of humor describing wonderful memories being parents to a highly-spirited child is truly hilarious.

I feel this book will act as a lifeline for fathers dealing with the surprise loss of a child. But it's also a book for mothers, siblings, families, friends, schools and communities. The promise to never allow someone to drive under the influence is a responsibility we must all share.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Powerful, March 2, 2013
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This review is from: A Father's Tears: Commemorative Edition (Kindle Edition)
I commend anyone who can go through such a devastating loss and is willing to share their painful journey in such a positive way. I think this book should be required reading for all young people before they are able to apply for a driver's license. It should also be recommended to other parents who are faced with the same type of loss. This book is filled with raw emotion, making it incredibly powerful. The resources included for recognizing depression and suggesting grief counseling are excellent. Perhaps Anthony was such an extraordinary young man because he had been blessed with extraordinary parents. I'm not sure I could be able to focus on a positive, loving message, filled with forgiveness if placed in a similar circumstance. Rarely do I award 5 stars to a book with editing errors, but I was able to easily overlook these as I was able to easily experience the author's emotions while I read. I would definitely highly recommend this book but would not recommend the services of this editor.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A gift to any and all who are grieving, November 6, 2012
This review is from: A Father's Tears (Paperback)
The author, Dave McColl, shares his traumatic story and in doing so, graces us with a gift that comes from the heart. To experience the loss of one's child is the greatest pain one can endure, so it must have taken great courage and determination for him to reveal the tragic circumstances surrounding his son Tony's death and the painful journey that his family has taken to survive. Despite his abiding grief, the author tells of Tony's life with pride and joy and brings us into some special family moments with disarming humour. For the many families who have had to endure the worst of tragedies, this book is a gift.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Surprising Book, October 14, 2012
By 
Martin Crosbie (Surrey, BC, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: A Father's Tears: Commemorative Edition (Kindle Edition)
I was fortunate enough to be sent an advance copy of this book before it was published.

A Father's Tears is a surprising read. David McColl takes the reader on an intimate journey during and after the tragedy. I felt as though I was in the hospital with the family the night they found out their son had been killed. I waited to see what would happen and how they would react, but really, the whole time I was asking myself "how would I react".

It was fascinating and inspiring to see how the McColl family dealt with their grief, the blame, and how they dealt with trying to start living again. The tragedy suspended their lives and changed many of the lives in their community when their likable young son was killed. I received so many messages from this book but the over-riding sense I got was that you don't recover, you change. You have no choice.

I'm very glad I read A Father's Tears, McColl is a talented writer and his love for his son and family show on every single page. There are scenes that are still with me and it's been weeks since I read it. Thanks for writing this David, there's no doubt in my mind that it's going to help anyone dealing with any type of loss.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!, January 19, 2014
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This review is from: A Father's Tears (Paperback)
Great book. Easy read. Can really feel the authors pain through his experience. Well written. Good job. Would recommend to anyone who has lost a child.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Heartwarming, February 16, 2013
This review is from: A Father's Tears (Paperback)
Reading the stories of Tony when he was small made you feel like you had known him and his family all his life. Tears flowed as David described that awful day. Anyone who has been impacted by an impaired driver, needs to read this. The McColl family have stayed so strong and continue to honor Tony by spreading the message that it is not okay to ever drive under the influence. If you are someone who does so, please read this book. Impaired driving is not an accident, it is an incident due to the decision someone made to break the law. Please join the facebook group Tony's promise, and vow to NEVER drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and to never allow someone you know to do the same.
[...]
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