Start reading ACCIDENTALLY MARRIED TO...A VAMPIRE? on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here.
This title is not currently available for purchase
Read books on your computer or other mobile devices with our FREE Kindle Reading Apps.
Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for
Color:
Image not available

To view this video download Flash Player

 

ACCIDENTALLY MARRIED TO...A VAMPIRE? (a Paranormal Romance) (Accidentally Yours) [Kindle Edition]

Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (343 customer reviews)

Pricing information not available.

Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition $2.99  
Summer Reading
Summer Reading
Browse the best books of summer including blockbusters, beach reads, and editors' picks in our Summer Reading Store.

Book Description

USA TODAY and New York Times Best Seller! Thank you, Readers!

****

“If you love her, set her free. If she comes back, she’s yours. If she doesn’t…Christ! Stubborn woman! Hunt her down, and bring her the hell back; she’s still yours according to vampire law.”

- Niccolo DiConti, General of the Vampire Queen’s Army.

THE DETERMINED VAMPIRE: Niccolo DiConti has faithfully served as leader of Her Majesty’s army for over a millennium, but he’d rather sunbathe in the Sahara than spend another grueling day under his demented queen’s command. However, no one has ever left her side and lived to tell. So when a powerful goddess prophesies he will meet his salvation—a human woman he must turn into a vampire with her consent—he eagerly rises to the challenge. After all, how hard could it be to seduce a human female into taking the immortal plunge? Harder than he thinks. Because his mate won’t be born for another three centuries, and when he wakes up in the goddess’ tomb, not only is his life a mess, but his destined female isn’t about to settle for a coldhearted vampire. Can he win her over before it’s too late? Not if his enemies have anything to do with it.

AN UNWILLING BRIDE: On the night Helena Strauss meets the fierce, devastatingly handsome vampire who saves her life in the jungles of Mexico, she knows her world will be forever changed. Because an attraction this mind blowing only comes along once in a lifetime—or existence. And when he claims she is his one true mate, destined to be his for all eternity, it’s a fairytale come true. So what if her knight in shining armor is a vampire? Nobody’s perfect. But discovering the powerful, overbearing immortal doesn’t “do love”? Deal breaker. Helena will flee and set out to accomplish the impossible…sever the otherworldly bond between them. And it turns out, Helena is just the leverage Niccolo’s enemies need to break the mighty warrior and wipe out his people.

WARNING:
This book contains sexual content (For some of you, not enough. I know. I’ll try harder, I promise.), adult language, hot men with unrealistically large physical characteristics, female whining (What? I whine all the time. It’s a healthy form of venting!), silliness, snark, sarcasm, and blatant abuse of the English language.


Product Details

  • File Size: 492 KB
  • Print Length: 400 pages
  • Publisher: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff; 4 edition (March 2, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B007GOA8LO
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #27,959 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  • Would you like to give feedback on images?

Customer Reviews

The characters were interesting and entertaining and the story was paced well. D  |  103 reviewers made a similar statement
Just as fun to read as the first book. Kmacc2  |  53 reviewers made a similar statement
I would recommend both books in this series to anyone who likes Paranormal Romance. Ashley  |  33 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
35 of 37 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A HOT AND SEXY ROMANCE April 21, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Helena Strauss is on holiday in Mexico. She has been on a tour of some ruins, but misses the bus back to her hotel. Lost in the jungle, with the night closing in she hears a dark seductive voice, calling her to come to him. Following the sound of the voice Helena enters a cave where on an altar lies a naked man, but not just any man, he is the largest and most gorgeous man Helena has ever seen. Helena wakes him with a kiss. When the man wakes, he introduces himself as Niccolo DiConti. He is also a vampire and known as the executioner but he leaves that bit out of his introduction. Niccolo tells Helena that she is his bride
This is a first read for me by this author, and I must say she is a real find. The authors writing is well paced and balanced. I also liked the fact that this story contains a lot of humour, the H/h are very well written Niccolo is thirteen hundred years old, but has been in stasis for the last three hundred of them. Waiting for Helena to wake him. He is arrogant with an ego the size of mt. Everest. But at around six foot six gorgeous and packed with muscle Helena finds him irresistible. Helena has to adjust quickly everything she was used to and believed, was turned on its head. But she remains strong, even if at times she does not seem to act sensibly. There are a cast of others in the story, including a crazy goddess (who reminded me of Nix from the IAD series by Kresley Cole). A whole bunch of sexy vampire men and a demilord called Andrus, whom I hope gets his own tale. A highly recommended read
Was this review helpful to you?
124 of 158 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I broke my own rule about reading the sample pages with this one, and I definitely regret it. From the synopsis it sounded like this would be a fun, tongue-in-cheek romp. The kind with a hefty amount of "girl-power" vs. "ancient stereo-typical male" where the whole thing is played for laughs. Instead I got a melodramatic angst fest driven by moronic decisions, in which the only character who is remotely funny is absent for most of the book.

Helena is very definitely 'too stupid to live'. Especially since she makes the same dumb choices/mistakes REPEATEDLY. For example: twice in the space of a few months this woman leaves her backpack -- with crucial items such as her wallet in it -- on a public bus. (While not the worst case of double jeopardy stupidity in the novel, this is the least spoilerific.) Since the first time she does it she's in a jungle in Mexico, you'd think it would be a fine object lesson. Not for Helena. She is so stupid so often and in such sweeping ways, that it's what largely drives the plot. Need to introduce conflict? Have Helena do something stupid. Need to introduce a new character? Have Helena do something stupid. Need to introduce a new twist to the plot? Have Helena do something stupid.

What really puts the icing on the cake, however, is the way that the narrator, the men in the novel, and even Helena herself keep describing her as 'smart'. Clearly none of these people have ever met a woman who could tie her own shoes. Here's a tip: if you're trying to write a 'smart' character, you don't do it by writing a TSTL character, and then having everyone think of her as being 'smart'. It didn't work for the Emperor's new clothes, and it doesn't work for stupidity on an epic scale. Readers can see she's not the sharpest tool in the shed, and no protestations to the contrary are convincing. If she's supposed to be smart, she has to act smart.

In a similar vein, the hero strikes me as Too Arrogant to Live. Honestly, Cimil should have struck him dead with the first words out of his mouth; he's lucky she had other plans. It's possible that the way he writes his own internal press (e.g. The gods might not be on his list of admirers. Although, they should be. What was not to like?) was supposed to be funny... except it's generally not. It usually comes off as eye-rollingly irritating.

Also, to be fair to Helena, it should be noted that both Niccolo and Andrus are plenty stupid as well. It's just not their defining characteristic.

Although the characters are my biggest gripe, the novel does have other issues. Considering that vampire heroes are usually several centuries old, there are going to be historical elements that are glossed over or treated vaguely. That's fine, it's characteristic of the genre, and it doesn't usually bother me. This time, however, the author starts out by deliberately highlighting how Cimil's dialogue is filled with anachronisms that Niccolo doesn't understand. That's pretty gutsy. Having made a point of the fact that Niccolo speaks a different brand of English -- and one that's non-native at that -- the author now has to remain consistent and avoid any modern usages. It's almost predictable that she fails at this immediately. Within that same initial conversation, Niccolo uses the word 'gist', which would have been highly unlikely even for a native English speaker at the time. A more egregious example takes place in a flashback, where he uses the phrase 'no harm no foul' at least two hundred years too early. Even his name is out of place: not only does he have a surname when he shouldn't, but both his names are distinctly Italian, despite his having been born at least two hundred years before the language took shape. (Mind you, this would be fine if the novel explained that he adopted the name Niccolo DiConti at some later point, but it doesn't. Instead, Reyna threatens his family BY NAME.) These are all things I would probably have ignored if the author hadn't essentially pointed them out.

Finally, as is so very common these days, the author misuses both words and idioms. Examples include:

Wheel barrel instead of wheelbarrow
Primeval instead of primal
Stocked instead of stalked
Protracted instead of retracted
"No harm to foul" instead of "No harm no foul"
serrated instead of rough (Niccolo's voice is described as serrated)

I only managed to read a little over half of this before I couldn't stand it anymore. I did come back a few days later and try to skim to the end, but the second half just seemed to be more ridiculous than the first.
Was this review helpful to you?
19 of 23 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it March 18, 2012
By JL1111
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I couldn't put this one down. I thought it was every bit as good as Accidentally in Love with a God (the first one in the series). The story, characters, and humor were fantastic. I can't wait for the next one to be released!
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Fun read
I enjoyed this one as much as the first. Looking forward to the next one in the series. Very entertaining.
Published 1 day ago by PentwaterGma
5.0 out of 5 stars Accidentally married to a vampire
This book is good funny and edge. Love the book, can't put the book down caused it will make you want more.
Published 1 day ago by rashidat adetimirin
5.0 out of 5 stars Great like allways
you cant go wrong with these books have to write 13 more words for this to work and im done
Published 6 days ago by jackie86
5.0 out of 5 stars So much fun!
This was fun and witty, lite with hot guys what could be better? Hot nude guys...YES! Enjoyed this book, looking forward to my next Mimi Jean read.
Published 9 days ago by KATHY
5.0 out of 5 stars Omg
This is by far the best book in the series to date. I have read the ones published after this and I still think this is the best
Published 14 days ago by Megan Fugate
4.0 out of 5 stars Another good book.
Yes, I love vampires and all the stuff and this was awesome and romantic. I need to buy more of this after my vacation, so please send me some recommendations.
Published 17 days ago by Leticia P. Medrano
5.0 out of 5 stars Love it love it....
I hope Aunt Cimi gets her own book, or a large part of one of the next books. This book was great and loved Andrus to no end.
Published 17 days ago by Ava Shawn
5.0 out of 5 stars Love it!
As usual love the characters and the plot. If the voices in my head sounded as good as he did then maybe they wouldn't drive me so bonkers. :0)
Published 18 days ago by Hburkett
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastically funny!
Love the way this lady writes dialogue! This is the typical girl wants guy type of situation with all the usual (and some not so usual) road blocks thrown in to make the story... Read more
Published 19 days ago by C.J. Schmidt
4.0 out of 5 stars funny & entertaining
I enjoyed this book more than I expected to. It was funny and entertaining. My first book by this author. I will try another one based on this book.
Published 21 days ago by Sharilyn
Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews

Book Extras from the Shelfari Community

(What's this?)

To add, correct, or read more Book Extras for Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? , visit Shelfari, an Amazon.com company.


More About the Author

RELEASE NEWS:

ACCIDENTALLY...EVIL? (an Accidentally Yours Evil NOVELLA) is here!

VAMPIRES NEED NOT...APPLY? (Sequel to Sun God) is scheduled for September, 2013. (I CAN'T WAIT FOR EVERYONE TO SEE WHY Sun God was a cliffhanger!!)

Thank you, everyone, for reading my books and being such awesome people!!

Mimi

*****
Connect with me on Facebook (Mimi-Jean), Twitter (@MimiJeanRomance), or on my page (www.mimijean.net).

****

Mimi-Fun-Facts:

Before taking up a permanent residence in the San Francisco Bay Area, Mimi spent time living near NYC (became a shopaholic), in Mexico City (developed a taste for very spicy food), and Arizona (now hates jumping chollas, but pines for sherbet sunsets). Her love of pre-Hispanic culture, big cities, and romance inspires her to write when she's not busy with kids, hubby, work, and life...or getting sucked into a juicy novel.

She hopes that someday, leather pants for men will make a big comeback and that her writing might make you laugh when you need it most.



Amazon Author Rankbeta 

(What's this?)

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?



Forums

There are no discussions about this product yet.
Be the first to discuss this product with the community.
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
 


Customers Who Highlighted This Item Also Highlighted


So You'd Like to...


Create a guide

Look for Similar Items by Category