ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy [Paperback]

Russ Harris (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 1572246227 | ISBN-13: 978-1572246225 | Publication Date: June 1, 2009 | Edition: 1

Popular myths about love set us up for a struggle with real life. The inconvenient truth is there's no such thing as a perfect partner, all couples fight, and feelings of love come and go like the weather. But that doesn't mean you can't have a joyful and romantic relationship. Through a simple program based on the revolutionary new mindfulness-based acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), you can learn to handle painful thoughts and feelings more effectively and engage fully in the process of living and loving together.

With your partner or alone, ACT with Love will teach you how to:

• Let go of conflict, open up, and live fully in the present
• Use mindfulness to increase intimacy, connection, and understanding
• Resolve painful conflicts and reconcile long-standing differences
• Act on your values to build a rich and meaningful relationship

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Warm, engaging, and infinitely valuable, Dr. Harris has written the ideal book for couples who are seeking to strengthen their relationships and grow intimacy. Harris’s ACT with Love takes acceptance and commitment therapy into the realm of couplehood in a kind, thoughtful, and realistic way. Share it with couples everywhere and use it in your own relationship. I plan to!”
—Robyn D. Walser, Ph.D., author of The Mindful Couple

From the Publisher

In ACT with Love, therapist and medical doctor Russ Harris shows couples how developing psychological flexibility--the ability to be in the present moment with openness, awareness, and focus, and to take effective action in line with one's values--can help them build more compassionate, accepting, loving relationships.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (June 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572246227
• ISBN-13: 978-1572246225
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #32,969 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Russ Harris is a physician, therapist, and speaker specializing in stress management. He travels nationally and internationally to train individuals and health professionals in the techniques of ACT. Born and educated in England, he now lives in Australia. For more information, visit thehappinesstrap.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The universal struggle to get along, May 26, 2009

By 

Joseph Ciarrochi (Wollongong, Australia) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Paperback)

I think this is a great book. Russ Harris writes in a clear style that gets right to the point. He shows how all couples are bound to struggle at some time and become disconnected from their relationship values. I think this is an important point, because we often go into relationships with the fairy tale idea that relationships should be easy (happily ever after). I think "ACT with Love" does a good job of showing how easy it is for all of us to lose contact with our partners and no longer see them as they really are. It describes how a once loving, caring relationship can become a war.

The book proposes an anecdote based on Acceptance and Commitment therapy. Basically, it shows how couples can become more mindful, accepting of things they can't change, and values driven. I believe these three skills are essential for love and intimacy.

I like the format of the book. I found it easy to skim and find topics I was most interested in. I found the exercises to be helpful. I liked that the book was both serious and humorous (e.g., in one section Dr. Harris discusses destructive relationship tactics such as "exhuming the corpse " and "springing the ambush"

I strongly recommend this book, both to relationship counsellors and to people in relationships. I don't think you need to wait till you are having problems in a relationship to get it. It probably would make for some good preventative medicine

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Best Yet on Couples Advise, December 28, 2009

By 

Paul A. Liddy (LAWRENCE, KS, US) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Paperback)

This ACT book is probably the best i've read to date on relationship building. It lays out the subject in an easy to read format and challenges the reader to pause after each chapter and practice the techniques. As a CBT therapist I find the approach that ACT (Acceptance and Committment Therapy) proposes to such matters an advance on simply trying to control thoughts. As the book points out such attempts at changing thoughts are difficult and fraught with set backs. Rather than take this approach ACT advises you to accept that negative thoughts are normal in any relationship and learning how to pay attention to what we value is a more solid approach to ensuring that we act appropriately.

I strongly recomend this book to any couple wanting to build a more solid and satisfying relationship no matter how long that they have been together. I have been married 32 years now and after reading this book have found new ways to enhance our relationship and move even closer to acting on those three little words "I love you."

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Another excellent book by Russ Harris!, January 17, 2010

By 

Dr Jess (Australia) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Paperback)

Russ Harris, author of "The Happiness Trap", has written yet another engaging and easy-to-read book. As a clinical psychologist who uses ACT quite frequently with my clients, I have found this book to be an invaluable resource, both at a professional and personal level. This book will help you undertand the problems in your relationship, teach you strategies to stop struggling with painful thoughts and feelings, learn to accept and re-connect with your partner, identify your values, and enhance your relationship by helping you be the partner that YOU ultimately want to be. I highly recommend this book to anyone in a relationship. Whether you are wanting to enhance an already healthy relaionship, or whether you are wanting to repair a relationship that has become strained and disconnected, this book will give you the strategies to do so.