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Consider the two following scenarios:
First scenario:
Mother: "John, can you please go do two hours of homework?"
John: "Stop! Go away!"
Second scenario:
Mother: "John, can I make you fresh pancakes for breakfast?"
John: "Stop! Go away!"
Whats going on here? John gives the same response whether asked about something good or bad. His negative response clearly has nothing to do with the actual request. It has to do with his being interrupted. It has to do with his being overwhelmed. It has to do with his ADHD. Obviously, rewards and punishments wont work in this setting. The problem is an inability to control a sensation of being overwhelmed, not a problem with motivation. (After all, you are already offering fresh pancakes.)
When typical rewards and punishments dont work, you may need an approach that Ross Greene refers to as "Plan B." Here, our focus is on preventing over-heated meltdowns. We anticipate problems and try to head them off: we stop, we stay calm, and we negotiate if possible.
"Just Stop!" is the key-- for the ADHD person and you.
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This review is from: ADHD Book: Living Right Now! (Paperback)
I own literally dozens of books on ADHD and have read dozens more. This slim book (only about 125 pages) is absolutely one of the best. I ordered it on the recommendation of a friend and when it arrived I was disappointed to see such a thin book. How could it add anything I didn't already know? Well, it did! It sums up the latest in scientific approaches to ADHD, de-bunks the myths and presents it all as clearly and concisely as I have ever seen. An excellent investment!
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A great resource!,
By Marissa Broadley (West Nyack, NY USA) - See all my reviews
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This is an excellent book on ADHD. It is informative, comprehensive and easy to understand. A must have for those with ADHD and their families! Teachers will also find this book a valuable resource. It provides many different types of therapies for parents and teachers to use when dealing with someone who has ADHD. Dr. Martin Kutscher gives those without ADHD insight into the world of those living with ADHD.
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ADHD Book: Living Right Now!,
By Carol Maeder (Chadds Ford, PA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: ADHD Book: Living Right Now! (Paperback)
I only wish this book was available for me when my daughter was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome back when she was 12. By the time ADHD was diagnosed she was 19 and we had gone through many years of disruption and blame. I will recommend this book to family and friends.Carol Goldberg Maeder, Mother
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