Customer Reviews

ANGELS VAMPIRES AND DOUCHE BAGS

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book is incredibly funny! Carla Collins is smart, witty, and hilarious! As you read this book, you will recall every single Angel, Vampire or Douche Bag you have ever known, and with a great deal of insight, Carla Collins catalogs and describes them all.
I am happy that I bought this book; I have read it cover to cover at least 3 times and reach for it whenever I need advice. All I have to do is turn to her handy guides on the care and treatment of whichever Angel, Vampire or Douche Bag has come into my life at the moment.
Can't wait to see her comedy show live, and wait for her next book.

What I LOVED: I had (still don't) who Carla Collins is but she is freaking hilarious! This was a book about life and with her witty spin, I was laughing out loud while listening to it. She narrated her own book and you could tell she was making herself giggle at times.

What I LIKED: She talked about real things and gave real examples under each of the categories she talked about. She reads at a really good speed--I know this seems like something odd to mention but really the speed worked really well for the book. I also like that she blames Speidi for all the worlds problems :) (Totally Agree LOL)

Complaints: To short but hey that is just because I was completely entertained.

Why I gave it a 4: I laughed so much I was almost crying at parts. Carla is funny, down to earth, and really knows how to deliver a story. A not to miss autobiography in my book.

Who I would recommend it too: Fans of Chelsea Handler or Jen Lancaster should enjoy this one :)

Received from: bought from audible
Author's website: http://www.carlacollins.com

Throughout life, one will encounter many characters, and it can prove to be annoying to deal with them all. "Angels, Vampires, & Douche Bags" is a memoir from Carla Collins, star of the famous Carlawood. Her story is one of dealing with those who are out to drain you of your life, those out to simply waste you time, and those who make it all worth while. With a message to keep at it no matter how many terrible people you meet, "Angels, Vampires, & Douche Bags" is an excellent pick and solidly recommended.

When I saw the title of this book, Angels Vampires & Douche Bags I laughed instantly and immediately started reading the book and I did not stop until I finished reading it. Of course it is always helpful to read a book quickly when it is 135 pages verses 600 but I must say that this was such an enjoyable read. Actually most of the topics covered by Carla in this book are heavy and pretty serious yet I was able to take the journey with her with a smile on my face. If you want a definition of what it means to be an angel, a vampire or a douche bag this is the book to read. According to Carla we all at some point in life experience elements of all three whether it is by our own hand or the hands of others. On the back of the book cover it say's, " Attract more angels into your life, control your vampires, and keep all the douche bags at bay. Angels, Vampires and Douche Bags is original, edgy, uplifting and laugh-out loud funny." In my opinion it is all true. If you need a good laugh with some helpful tips on how to get through some tough times with a sense of humor then you will want to read this book. Even after reading about Carla's life the mere thought of this book just makes me smile. To learn more about Carla Collins visit her website under her name and listen to the onlinewithandrea interview with Carla Collins.

Andrea R. Garrison
Host/Producer onlinewithandrea
Author/Producer The Crossing Over Of Mattie Pearl

In "Angels, Vampires, & Douche Bags", first time author Carla Collins shares the wisdom of her experience as a stand up comic, actress, wife, daughter, friend, and savvy business woman. Her sharp wit and intelligence shine through in this anecdotal book, filled with hilarious and touching stories from Collins' own life which serve as lessons and inspiration for all of us.

Divided into three main categories, the author doesn't endeavor to tell us how to live our lives, but rather she helps us figure out how to navigate the unpredictable waters of life by understanding and managing our angels, vampires and douche bags on a daily basis. She cleverly and humorously breaks the categories down into sub-groups, and provides tips not only for identifying different types of angel,vampires, & douche bags, but also for the care and feeding of them.

Mixing pop culture and classic literature references with The Three Stooges and her love for dogs, Collins makes us laugh, and cry all at the same time, while drawing us into her world by opening up her heart to us.

"Angels, Vampires & Douche Bags" creates a whole new paradigm for the self-help/inspirational genre - one that is uplifting and insightful while remaining accessible and funny to everyone. Buy this book for yourself and give a copy to five friends, no doubt they will soon be calling you one of their angels!

This is a super funny "self-help"/autobiography and I laughed almost the whole time I read this. The author classifies people into three categories of angels, vampires and douche bags which is pretty self explanatory. I think Collins really shines when she interweaves her personal history with these categories and the lessons from each type. I was going to pick my favorite line, but there are just too many good one liners to list them all. I would have to copy the whole book.

The humor is just fabulous and I would love to see the author perform her stand up routine. I did find a few clips on you tube which are easy to locate. There are some adult moments there, so I don't feel comfortable posting them in this forum. You need to buy several copies of this book since if you leave it out, it will disappear the next time a friend picks it up.


Oh, and she rescues dogs...how much better can it get?

The title is another modification of the classic, "Good, bad and the ugly" line. However, Collins is funnier than most that enter that realm, her prose hints of the Joan Rivers and Phyllis Diller style of self-deprecation. She also openly talks about her breast augmentation, so much so that I went online to find pictures of her to determine if her chest now warrants all the ink she expended on it. Probably not, but I am sure it is a good laugh line. Although I must admit that it was hard to tell from the pictures my brief search uncovered.
The funniest part was when she talked about her grandmother and her massive natural chest and how she would talk about it. Her grandmother would also occasionally flash it to prove the point. I admit to being biased with my sense of humor but there is nothing I find funnier than a grandmother that not only admits to sex but openly talks about it. One of my grandmothers was that way at times and I smile every time I think back on some of the things she said. There were many words that could be used to describe her, but boring was never applicable.
There is a lot of humor in this combination of autobiography, life history and look at the people in the world and what differentiates them. All of us can relate to the people she describes, the ones that inspire to those that just diminish everyone unfortunate enough to come into significant contact with them.

This book is a blast. Chock full of great humor and crazy personal stories many of which are also quite touching. I thought this book might appeal more to women, but it's laugh-out-loud funny; not a 'chick-book' at all, or one of those self-important 'how to live your life' books the stores are full of these days. Totally lives up to the great reviews. It's well written, thoughtful, whimsical and just plain fun to spend time with. My only criticism is that I wished it was longer. This is her first book? One can only hope there will be many more to come. Collins rocks!!

Hi
To anyone thinking about buying this book...DO IT!!! It is such witty and enchanting I read it in one evening! It is the perfect gift for a friend. Carla's writing is brave, unique and really funny. I am so happy I read this! It is the feel good book of the year!
Thank you Carla for such a wonderful book!
Kara

I am a little bit in awe of Carla Collins. She has the body and the height that I have always dreamed of, she is funny AND she hasn't sold her soul to the show biz devil.

Instead, she looks like a regular girl who is trying to figure it all out - from careers to husbands.

I have been a big fan of Carla's show Carlawood and love her stand up. This is why I was so excited to read Angels, Vampires and Douchebags - I just knew that, somehow, Carla would figure out a way to write a book that could be both funny and inspirational and this one truly is.

Carla somehow manages to combine show business - with spirituality. This is not an easy thing to do and, unlike many other celebrities who claim to seek spirituality (minus the meds), I believe Collins actually does it because she truly believes in its benefits.

This is evident throughout the entire book. She writes hysterically about situations she has found herself in or has observed and she does, at times, bring in other people's experiences (in relation to her own life) and while you are laughing and saying "that is crazy - but I have been there", you also, somehow, pick up on the underlying message - of goodness and hope.

I loved, loved reading this book. Carla's humor is crazy - my favorite was her line about "Carla Collins Power Ranger". I am constantly amazed at people who can see the humor in any situation!

It is also obvious that Collins is also deeply committed to her angels - her dogs and I do know that Carla's dog passed away a few months ago (although he does appear in the book) so it made reading about him doubly touching.

I am really happy to see that even though Collins has chosen to make a career in a business that can easily steal your soul - hers appears to be intact and in the right place.

BUY THIS BOOK - it is hysterically funny.