Customer Reviews

Abe's Tomb

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

Without doubt, this has to be one of the worst movies ever! But i loved it!!! If the filmmakers intended this to be a serious vampire movie, then clearly i was viewing a different film all together.

First of all, the cast must have been friends of the director, as no-one could act in the film. The look of 'suprise' when the innocents were confronted/attacked by the vampires was hilarious. In fact, i had to rewind certain scenes as i couldn't stop laughing in parts and missed some of the dialogue.

When it came to the gory scenes, the blood used clearly looked like a watery jelly. You didn't even see anyone get bitten as the camera quite smartly turned away just in time, leaving the viewer to imagine what must have happened.

The fight scenes are pure brilliance. It reminded me of my school playground days when i used to play 'cowboys' and 'indians' and when i was 'punched', i'd do a dodgy forward roll and get back up on my feet. The scenes in Ab's Tomb are exactly like that. Think i'm exagerating? Check it out!!!

Don't get me wrong. I love low budget horror films (hollywood chainsaw hookers is a classic). And the reason i'm giving this movie 4 stars is because i found it highly entertaining for all the wrong reasons.

This title sits proudly on my dvd shelf with other classics such as zombies, zombies, zombies, piranha women in the avocado jungle of death and blood sucking pharoh's in pittsburg. Abe's tomb is in good company!

I watched this film with very high expectations, considering it was "an award winning film" (what festival would award it as such?!?!?) This film was a completely amateur endeavor in every sense of the word. How it found a distribution deal is beyond me. Do not get me wrong, I go out of my way to support indie filmmakers at any chance I can, but at least a lot of films I watch make an effort to be professional. This film failed on every level. Direction, acting, editing, sound, lighting, you name it. This film reeked of "Hey, I just pulled the camera out of the box, let's make a movie, whether I know what I'm doing or not!" And it shows. And from what I understand, the director is making an "Abe's Tomb II"!!! Buying that will not be a mistake I will make.
Since I first posted, I noticed that "Ray Basham" (second listing in the credits above) has decided to post a "review" that has nothing to do with the film, but rather decided to spend his time being a gay-bashing Klansman. Buy this film and support the KKK. That's what the director wants...

Other honest reviews can be found at:

http://www.fatally-yours.com/horror-reviews/abes-tomb-2008/
http://www.unboundzine.com/abe'stomb.html

Please read. Then buy if you feel compelled.

Ok, having done the film equivalent of binging and purging (watching film, moaning about it) and feeling dirty afterwards, I am now ready to talk about Abe's tomb. Now let me be clear - I love B movies and support the making of these films especially when it clear that the makers have done their best with the budget they have - i.e. Jack Black Monster Hunter and Starship Troopers 3 - both labours of love. So I feel a bit bad about outing how bad this film is. It really is a case of pick up the video camera and act out a script with your mates. The acting is dire, the dialogue makes trees look like thespiens, and the Abe of the title looks like the rabbit in Donnie Darko after leperousy, a hunger strike and fifteen years of living in a third world country. The 'vampires' all hiss at the camera and come close for a fade out before the kill which I have to put up with but the fight scenes - ohhhhh! (shivers and composes himself). It's like a cross between watching six year olds play fight and the keystone cops. Hand punches for head and misses by a mile, next scene person falls over. Nooooooooooooooooooo! If you get this, you deserve to watch it again and again until your brains melt out your ears. Please, please, please don't buy it. I beg you for the love of everything good and green on this earth.

I bought this when it was released and recently went back to view it again. For what it is, it is actually pretty good. My perspective on it may be different from the average viewer. You have to respect the filmmaker who writes, produces and directs the film, among other jobs. He performed all aspects of the production save for the music and a few minor jobs. That is no easy task. This is a party film, plain and simple. So grab your beverage, sit back with the lights off and enjoy!

Don't waste your money unless you enjoy movies in the "So-Bad-It's-Good" category. Actually, this doesn't even make into that sad club. If you really support independent productions and have enough liquid capital that you can throw fifteen bucks or so into the toilet and flush it away without a second thought, by all means buy a copy. If not, however, don't bother pulling your wallet out.

The story: An entire town is invaded by the force's of Vampira. So the town seeks out help from the ghost of Abe within his Tomb.

Acting: The whole of the movie comes off as if the cast came to set, read their script that day and just went from there. Either that or the cast read off cue cards and put forth zero emotion within their roles.

Action Sequences:
-An explosion
-A few fight sequences, where punches really don't land visibly on camera and characters just seemingly roll around.

Special Effects:
-Abe consists of the bag of bones, that you can find in any costume shop around Halloween every year. Same applies for his mask and hood, when he first appears.
-Occasional shots of store bought blood.
-Store bought fangs as well.

Cast:
-Since it's an independent film, none are really all that well known or heard of. Vampira, played by AMANDA FIRE, has done GHOSTBUSTERS: SPOOK UNIVERSITY, which has a trailer out and has yet to be released, but that's about it.

T&A:
-A bunch of bikini shots. Nothing worthy of an R rating or the like.

Overall:

I wanted this movie to be fun and scary, but to the biggest part, it turned out to be a movie worthy of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 commentary and that's the axe, that it forever falls under in my books. One sequel is in the works and another one could possibly follow that one.

Okay, I'll admit it, I like vampire movies..and Abe's Tomb was no exception. The girls in the movie are quite lovely but for me, being a woman, that wasn't the draw (but for any red-blooded male, it will be), for me, it was the depth of the characters and the storyline, itself. Mr. Merritt's first movie shows his skill as a published author (Fleet of Angels) and translates very well into the theatre. The unexpected twists and macabre turns will keep you guessing as to what will come next. If you like a movie that sticks with you after the credits have rolled, this is the one for you. I hear that Abe's Tomb II is currently in the works and will definitely buy it when it is released. Great job, Carl and team!

unfortunately this was an amateur movie in every sense of the word. poor production, poor acting, poor, poor, poor. don't waste your time, let alone your money on this tripe.

This guy is a gay filmmaker in Cleveland who can't seem to do his job, so he takes his misery out on others.

So here is the low down on
"Ohio Effects Guy"

He works for Precinct 13 Entertainment in Crestline, Ohio. They are a company who wants indie film makers to have them edit their movies. So this guy attacks an indie film makers film instead of saying, "We can make that better for you, let me show you how". NO They would rather play childhood games on Amazon.com.

I notified one of the co-owners by e-mail and got no response about "Alans" public actions and how they look poorly upon their company. So in my opinion, boycot Presinct 13 Entertainment and Alan Tuskes.

When I saw the previews for this film, I wasn't quite sure where it was going. Of course, how can you go wrong with Merritt's ample use of eye candy vampires, right? While this is true, I found that Abe's Tomb had a surprisingly good storyline and it held together quite well! Director Merritt had to operate on an extremely limited budget in the creation of this, his debut horror film. The fact that it is surprisingly good speaks well of Merritt's talents and we should all look forward to his future efforts which will surely have a larger budget after the success of this award winning debut. Horror fans should keep an eye on Merritt as I suspect he is going places given the quality of the storyline and what he was able to achieve with the limited resources he had to allocate to this fine beginning.