Customer Reviews

About Men

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This is an astounding work! Ms. Chesler cracks wide open the hard shell of paternalism and exposes the underlying sadness of men. A must for writers, psychologists, artists. If we could better nurture our boys, we could change the world.

Phyllis Chesler (born 1940) is an American writer, psychotherapist, and professor emeritus of psychology and women's studies at the College of Staten Island. She has written many other books, such as Women and Madness: Revised and Updated.

She wrote in the Preface to this 1978 book, "I wrote this book in order to understand men... In the beginning, I thought that surely I would create a version of 'Women and Madness' for men. But books each have their own way... I write this book not as a tyrant over men, and not as a sycophant of men. I write without blinding contempt for men, and without any irrational fear---or worship---of men... I write, always, in the belief that understanding can weaken the worship of death---that has dominated patriarchal consciousness and human action for so long."

Here are some additional quotations from the book:

"Men's need for maternal compassion and approval is so great, so unconscious, so pervasive, that its shadow fell across every relationship or encounter I've ever had with men." (Pg. xiii)
"I began to understand that men, not women, are the deadliest killers of men on earth." (Pg. 160)
"Men are not taught how to be interpersonally sensitive to others---or to themselves. Despite male ego and narcissism, most men tend to lack the emotionally introspective tools that woudl allow them to comfort others or to comfort themselves." (Pg. 202)
"Despite the male complaint about having to 'perform,' not too many men are overly willing to 'perform' to please women sexually." (Pg. 227)
"As I listen to men talk about male-bonding and male violence, I wonder to what degree male hostility toward feminist aspirations is related to a male fear of being abandoned by women." (Pg. 250)