What About the Kids? Understanding Their Needs in Funeral Planning and Services [Paperback]

The Dougy Center for Grieving Children (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 25, 1999

This book addresses the best practices for funeral and memorial services with children and teens. Learn how to include children in these rituals and creative ways to involve them in the process. You will find suggestions from children and teens about what was helpful and unhelpful about the funeral or memorial service they attended.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Since 1983, The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families has provided loving support in a safe place where children, teens and their families grieving a death can share their experiences as they move through their healing process. Based in Portland, Oregon, The Dougy Center works regionally, nationally and internationally to provide support and training to individuals and organizations seeking to assist children in grief.

The Dougy Center is supported solely through private support from individuals, foundations and companies, and receives no state or federal funding. The Dougy Center does not charge a fee for its services.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Why do we have funerals and memorial services?

Six-year-old Maria, whose father died of asthma, says: "The funeral is when you get to say goodbye to the person who died."

By adulthood, most of us have known someone who died and have attended a funeral. But what is a funeral like for a child or teenager who unexpectedly loses a parent, sibling, grandparent or friend? And how do children say goodbye?

Throughout history, children have participated in funerals and memorial services. Some of their goodbyes are etched in the public memory. In the televised memorial services of President John F. Kennedy, the nation watched three-year-old John Kennedy Jr. salute his late father’s coffin as it passed by. When Princess Diana died, her two sons, William and Harry, placed a wreath of white flowers on her coffin with a simple note attached: "Mummy."

Too often, however, children and teenagers are the "forgotten mourners." They may be seen but not heard or spoken to at a funeral. And many adults wonder if it is a good idea to include children in a funeral at all.

This guidebook has been developed by The Dougy Center, The National Center for Grieving Children and Families, to help parents and caregivers support their children before, during and after a funeral or memorial service. Since 1982, The Dougy Center has worked with thousands of children, teens and their families as they cope with the death of a parent, adult caregiver, sibling or friend. With their help, we’ve gathered practical suggestions and ideas about what kids want and need from funerals.

Every family has its own traditions and beliefs, and these will likely play a strong role in funeral and memorial service planning and decisions. There are no right or wrong ways to say goodbye. But there are some goodbyes that help and others that hinder the healing process. Whatever your belief system is, we hope that the stories and experiences shared here will serve as a helpful guide to you and the children you love.

Product Details

• Paperback: 52 pages
• Publisher: Dougy Center (October 25, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1890534048
• ISBN-13: 978-1890534042
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.3 x 0.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,302,794 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)