This is actually my second time reading this book. The first time through, I was primarily looking for ideas to make my household a bit more peaceful, and while I found the book interesting, it didn't address my specific concerns about sibling rivalry and bickering.
Fast forward a couple of years, and this book is EXACTLY what I need. The idea of trying to live humanely and kindly, each and every day, and to extend the concept beyond one's nuclear family to the world at large (and to all living things for that matter), really resonates right now. Zoe Weil talks about the importance of our actions. Having a sense of compassion combined with a sense that our actions DON'T matter can lead to dispair. Having a sense of materialism combined with a sense that our actions don't matter can lead to exploitation of people and resources.
Anyway, the book does discuss how to empower children to consciously choose humane, compassionate choices. Zoe's approach is highly facilitative rather than dictatorial. She says it is important to:
1. provide information
2. teach critical thinking
3. instill reverence, respect, and responsibility
4. offer positive choices
And there are many examples of how to put this in practice, particularly for children in the middle and teen years.
One of my favorite chapters is chapter 3, "Your Life is Your Message". Zoe says, "I'm very aware of the fact that each of us will be faced with emotions and circumstances that compete with our desire to make the most humane choices." She talks about how difficult it is to be a good role model for our children ALL the time. We will fail - we're human! But she writes, "the task before each of us is to choose compassion in the face of apathy that deadens our spirit, restraint in the face of desires that can harm, and courage in the face of fears that hold us back - and to do so in practical, concrete ways that translate our ethics into action. We will not always make the kindest choice, but by staying aware and remaining committed to making our life the kind of message we want it to be, we'll be able to make kinder choices more and more often."
THIS is something that I can do. The fact I will fail sometimes doesn't absolve me of my responsibility to do what I can.
Chapter 3 is also where Zoe exhorts us to expand humane values to include everyone, and these are some choices she says have an impact on ourselves as well as others outside of our family - what we wear, what we eat, what entertainment we choose, what we drive, as well as choices about our homes, furniture, toys, personal care and cleaning products, among others. I'd been guilty of thinking, "Such and Such Superstore will still exist whether I shop there or not, so I might as well get xyz there because they have the best price." After reading this book, that is not a thought I am going to have again.
Zoe also includes a questionnaire to help people get started on their journey to live more consciously and humanely, as well as several interesting resource lists.
I highly recommend this book.
