Customer Reviews

Absent Fathers, Lost Sons: The Search for Masculine Identity

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

This book was easy to read without too much psychological jargon, yet it offered many insights to growing up without a stable father figure. It can be very helpful in realizing the sources of many difficulties which adults may face as a result of unresolved conflicts. I highly recommend it

This book was the turning point of my life when I realized why I am who I am. It opened a window from where I was able to view my past life like never before. The rich clinical experience and the deep understanding of the patients by the author make this book invaluable to any son who had difficult relationship with his father. To the person from Europe who rated the book poorly: Isn't the Bible supposed to provide you so called Christians all the answers for anything you want? Why even bother reading any other book?

This book was a real eye-opener for me. I've read the whole book in one time with tears of finaly being understand at last. It's a real eye-opener for my mother too!

I believe this one is a really good introduction book for men who still wonder about their place in life. It explains gradually how manhood has changed and gives some ideas on how to bring yourself back to balance, as a man.

I think that if you came to this page, then at least you can give this book a chance. It is a good read.

First, it is very important for a male to acknowledge he has masculine "identity issues," moreso than any female, who (in one stage at least, that of maiden) has her monthly cycle as an affirmation of her sexual identity.

Second, he must also recognize the rituals and ceremonies that are performed cross-culturally during puberty as an initiation of the boyhood-to-manhood transition, most importantly along with one's own father or a male role model. Circumcision is one, along with certain Native American rites of him hanging by his hooked chest in the sun until he pulls the hooks out. The male, unlike the female, needs his psyche to be shocked with the impression of maturity, and coming into his own, separate from the mimicked father figure, and at the same time away from the mother (Oedipus complex, as opposed to the woman's Elektra complex). It may not come simply from one act alone, should it be insufficient. Sometimes these may be violent or dangerous, even life-threatening, such as hazing or Russian Roulette.

I do not think that all cases of homosexuality stem from identity and mother/feminine issues - in fact, perhaps a small percentage of the homosexual population. It is a natural phenomenon which has been observed even in animals; that is perhaps my only reservation about this book. The results of incomplete masculinity can result in depression and lack of sociability, among other things described. This book also gives real-life cases as examples.

Aside from the aforementioned reasons as to why there are such issues, I personally am of the opinion that it is also due to the father being away from home (traditional role of working, though it is being reduced, even reversed, or responsibilities shared equally by both parents) or no longer being with his family (divorced, deceased, absentee or broken up). The mother is perhaps with the children more often, and definitely bonds with them first and on a different level. (...)

The reviews of this book are very intriguing, and they throw some light on Corneau's approach to pscyhology and myth as well as the readers' desire to gain some knowledge. However, no one has mentioned the important fact that the book was translated from French. Most of Corneau's other publications are in his presumedly native language. Any real understanding of the book would have to begin with reading it in the original version. Many cultural differences and assumptions of the translator would show up in the English language version. The opinions of reviewers might change completely were everyone have the chance to read the French text.

Very well written book about the problems and issues between fathers and sons. Loved it!

If you are in search of aknowledgement for the way you feel, read it. It may trigger you to set you on a path of further development. This 'trigger function' is about the only value of the book. If you are on a path and have done some work on yourself already, it's a waste of money and time. Hypothesis is stacked upon hypothesis, no sound argumentation is given, it creates confusion and fails to give directions for possible solutions. In one word: shallow. And (being a copywriter myself) I must say: research and writing is very poor.

PS: I opted for no star, but one is the minimum.

First let me say that this book offers an important message about the importance of fathers and the psychological problems caused by their absence. The author's approach is Jungian and this is an excellent book to learn true Jungian psychology. I agree with the book on many points when it comes to the men and what they need. I have gained much from his insight. I recommend the book for that purpose, but want to offers some severe cautions. First, the author seems to worship the gods of Greek mythology. Second, the author is anti-Christian. Third, he seems to have a political agenda that follows a very liberal course at times. Because of these things, I would give the book a 2.5 stars. However, the strengths of this book make it worth reading. It will cause men to reflect on what it means to really be a man in today's world. It is too bad that the author is not a Christian that recognizes that Jesus is the true model of a man. When you eat fish it has meat that is good and you eat around the bones or spit them out. That is what you have to do with this book.

The books talks about a wide range of emotions and consequences of inadequate fathering, most of which overlook cultural differences. Arguments are based on hypothesis and are for the most part arguable. He treats Homosexuality as on one end of the acceptable sexual behavior scale. I do not recommend it to Christian men. It is clear that the author has a very shallow and distorted understanding of the Bible too. It creates more confusion by suggesting too many reasons for certain behaviors. If you are a Christian male in search for your identity as a man, don't waste your time, energy and money looking for answers in this book.