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Absolutely Should-Less: The Secret to Living the Stress-Free Life You Deserve Paperback – November 1, 2008

18 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Damon L. Jacobs is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist in New York and California. His work in group settings has allowed him to develop comprehensive and effective tools for reducing stress and depression while increasing peace and happiness. His ideas uniquely combine psychological principles, social theories, spiritual perspectives, and media critiques. His writing brings these elements together in fresh ways in order to challenge and eliminate harmful ""shoulds."" He currently resides in Brooklyn, NY.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 148 pages
  • Publisher: Morgan James Publishing (November 1, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1600374492
  • ISBN-13: 978-1600374494
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.4 x 8.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,927,901 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Dr. J. Davis Mannino on February 2, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I just completed my review of Damon L. Jacobs' new book "Absolutely Should-Less." Psychotherapists are omnipresent ---- everywhere! My father used to say they were a "dime a dozen." In today's society, they are as common as stars in the sky. But every once in a while, a star appears in the celestial universe that is bigger, more noteworthy, and shines brighter than all the rest. Such is that bright new star that answers to the name of Damon L. Jacobs.

It is not that I don't take issue with some of what Jacobs presents. While I think his pedagogical approach is faulty in some areas, he is on target with much of what he speaks.

Over 35 years ago, Werner Erhard and his Erhard Seminar Training workshops (EST for short) noted that "shoulds," were the booby prize. That is, they were basically counter-productive. Cognitive therapy, specifically "cognitive restructuring," notes that if we change the emotion of language we can change the narrative of our lives. Over the last two or three decades it has been hit and miss. The problem is language, semantics, linguistics, --- call it what you will --- has enslaved us all. We can choose to run from language, but after all, it is all we have. The run is futile and language tags right along with us wherever we go ---like that bully of a classmate at lunch recess.

Rather than flee from language --- and specifically the words we use --- perhaps it makes more sense to simply stop running from them. Accept them, and embrace the words and language we use. The better approach may be to simply defuse the power behind them. I don't believe refraining from word usage is all that helpful. I think the better approach is to defuse the power behind the words in our usage.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Nelson Aspen on March 5, 2010
Format: Paperback
What a wonderful gift this little book is! If you're uptight and Type A, serving many masters...this is an excellent source for helping you take a step back, breathe and recognize (as the author says) "life doesn't have to be that hard."

Interesting vignettes of patient/therapist dialogue help demonstrate Jacobs' techniques for realizing self-destructive behavior and offers new ways to look at the challenges we all face.

Well worth the read and perspective it inspires.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Roger D. Newcomb on January 4, 2010
Format: Paperback
I read this book last Spring and it helped me to re-evaluate many things in my life - some that were working and others that weren't. I realized other people were placing "shoulds" on me and I was putting most of them on myself. Thanks to Damon L. Jacobs and "Absolutely Shouldless" I began living a shouldless, and much happier, life.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Wondermatic on March 21, 2009
Format: Paperback
Damon Jacobs has written a great little gem of a book. I found the takeaway messages from this book to be helpful as well as easy to understand and implement in everyday life. And while my life may not be "stress-free," it is better for having read this book.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Michael B. Lehrman on January 3, 2010
Format: Paperback
I am not a big fan of "self help" books in general. But this book is something that will resonate for anyone who reads it. How many times a day do we say that we "should do this" or "should do that"? Well, Mr. Jacobs' has eloquently revealed why such statements and thoughts are meaningless and actually lead to stress and failure. The book is easy to read, and the ideas are vividly expressed. There is not a person out there who could not benefit from the lessons learned and taught in this book.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Jill Lorie Hurst on September 9, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
What a smart, accessible, helpful book. In these times when we all get twisted into pretzels by the daily "shoulds" Damon's words were thought provoking and comforting. I learned a lot and also felt like I was sitting with a friend who has my best interest at heart. I plan on sharing this one!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Dr. Howard Leifman on May 20, 2011
Format: Paperback
Fantastic book to help you discover yourself and how to live your life more enjoyably and with less stress. I Highly recommend it!! Great tips for how to's!!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By truett vaigneur on May 6, 2011
Format: Paperback
This book can be fun, enjoyable and very good for anyone to read who wants to live a better life. I first got the book over a year ago and I still have it handy just to read and refer to other people. What I really did like about this book is the understandable language and terminology, and the descriptive style Jacobs has in his writing.
As a counselor and an adjunct professor I actually use collective pages - Chapter 3 is amazing - of this book to encourage my students to accept their challenges and then pursue them.
For anyone out there who knows of students, whether high school, college, vocational, that are ready to embark on careers and have choices to make regarding the future it would be an excellent gift.
I really, REALLY did like this book and appreciate the message Damon Jacobs has shared with his readers.
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