Date Abuse (Issues in Focus) [Library Binding]

Herma Silverstein (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 7-10-Young people today, male and female, are expected to navigate the minefield of dating and sexual relationships more or less on their own. In order to be helpful, any book on the subject should be informative, accurate, well written, and authoritative. Date Abuse is weak on all counts. The large-print, wide-margined text includes a 39-page state-by-state listing of hotline addresses and phone numbers. But worse than the padding is the book's inaccuracy due to generalities and vagueness. It is of no use to tell a rape victim that to get rid of self-blame, "try thinking positively about yourself in what are called affirmations." Silverstein states that "in the middle of sex, certain chemicals take over." What constitutes the "middle" of sex? The bibliography lists only nine items, including articles from Vogue and Redbook. Andrea Parrot's Coping with Date Rape and Acquaintance Rape (Rosen, 1993) is packed with facts, statistics, examples from research studies, personal narratives, current events, and court cases. It is the better resource.
Kathy Fritts, Jesuit High School, Portland, OR
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews

Abusive relationships may feature physical violence, from slaps to rape and murder; verbal abuse, including persistent belittling; such emotional tactics as unpredictability and the silent treatment; and other harassment--threats or stalking. Addressing victims, Silverstein surveys the causes of these behaviors in family patterns and the abusers' need to compensate for perceived inadequacies and offers victims firm advice on extricating themselves--and avoiding more such relationships--by being clear and consistent about what's acceptable. Though she doesn't differentiate between occasional and habitual offensive behavior, and her assertion that ``Any forced sexual activity is rape, from kissing to intercourse'' is extreme, her simple (and somewhat repetitious) exposition will help teenagers clarify the subject, while her insistence that victims are not to blame should give them courage. A chapter detailing specifically what is likely to happen when a rape is reported--with police, at the emergency room, with the legal system--is especially useful. National and state-by-state list of rape prevention and treatment resources, and of victim assistance programs; index. (Nonfiction. 12+) -- Copyright ©1994, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 11 and up
  
• Library Binding: 128 pages
• Publisher: Enslow Publishers (February 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0894904744
• ISBN-13: 978-0894904745
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #5,868,115 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars I feel that there could be more mentioned., June 10, 2005

By 

D. R Hayes "D.R. Hayes" (Clermont, FL. United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Date Abuse (Issues in Focus) (Library Binding)

This was a good book talking about how boys and girls in relationships can hurt each other. The stories in here are very disturbing. The pain we can inflict on each other at times can be endless. I know I've inflicted pain on my late wife at times; not physical, but emotional, verbal, and sexual. I know in my own mind it was because I longed to experience coming and orgasm by getting real close to her, and getting her whipped up in a sexual frenzy hopefully every night. I also know I had a temper, and I could say the most God-Awful things. She had a temper too, and she could abuse just as bad verbally, emotionally, and sometimes slam things around, and throw things. I know there were times I would cry because I would see the way I was treating her, and it just fathomed me as to why she stayed with me. She was a beautiful woman, and I was lucky to have her as my wife for a short while. However, now that she's dead I know I have to rethink alot of things, and get some perspective. I look at the cover on this book, and see a guy wanting to get the girl's jeans off, and see what's going on underneath e.g. panties, and her body so forth and so forth. I feel that it should be mentioned that if the guy on that cover is having strong feelings of the sexual kind toward that girl that the writer include somethings to say to her before the situation is getting out of hand. Like " This isn't your fault I'm having some strong feelings toward you right now, but I'm scared, or don't know how to express them.", or in a case where the guy is looking for someone to fight, and mess up physically, and the only one is the girl he's with:" I'm sorry I'm not good company right now. I've just had a real bad stressful day, and I'm thinking it probably wasn't a good idea to go out tonight....nothing against you.". Then you have the verbal, or emotional scenario where the guy and girl are having a very nasty argument, and the guy is going to really slam her with some horrible insults: "I think we both need to cool off right now; I (depending on stage of relationship)love you/care alot about you, and don't want to say something that will cause hurt feelings." I see that girl on the cover, and she's so beautiful that I wish I was dating her, and while it's up to us guys to communicate our fears, feelings, and everything to the girl we're out with I can only pray that the girl on the cover of this book would be sensitive to us, and not dare I say "Judge Us", or make us feel stupid for having these feelings. Date Abuse is inexcusable because the scars that it creates will go far beyond the relationship we have in the present. They will go far beyond after the relationship maybe over especially left untreated. I feel that while this is a good book in the sense it gives equal time to both boys and girls who were abused by thier dates and/or people they were involved in a relationship it's pretty much a standard book that doesn't really educate an abuser, and give them the tools to help change their lives. Mind you the abuser still will need professional counselling, but this was written by a doctor, so to me she can offer some practical tips to get the abuser started on the road to recovery.