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Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence Paperback – February 24, 2009

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Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence + The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond + Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 232 pages
  • Publisher: Praeger; 2 edition (February 24, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0313356718
  • ISBN-13: 978-0313356711
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,101,966 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews


• Investigates the evidence for abuse of men as a significant social problem

• Includes new material about domestic violence against gay men

• Updates information from the first edition on laws, legislation, court activity, social responses, police activity, support groups, batterer programs, and crisis intervention programs

• Tells victims how to get help and free themselves from abuse

• Recommends necessary reforms in approaches to reducing domestic violence

• The latest research figures and up-to-date surveys on the prevalence of intimate partner violence against men

• Personal interviews and cases drawn from media coverage of politicians and other public figures

• A selected bibliography

"Recommended. Public and academic libraries serving programs with an interest in domestic violence, or those seeking to develop extensive holdings in this area; all levels."




"[This book] reads like 1,000 Dear Abby letters…fascinating…but it explains the many aspects of domestic violence. It has a wealth of material that could be helpful to professionals who deal with domestic violence."


Dear Abby Abigail Van Buren


More About the Author

Investigative journalist Philip W. Cook is the author of Abused Men-The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence (ABC-Clio Second Edition 2009-Greenwood/Praeger First Edition 1997). He is the author of the 2013 book, When Women Sexually Abuse Men-The Hidden Side of Rape, Stalking, Harassment and Sexual Assault with criminologist Tammy Hodo, PhD. Mr. Cook is a professional journalist whose work objectively examines and explains relevant research results, the feelings and problems of interviewed victims, as well as provider and media response to the issue. He has examined scores of national and international domestic violence and family programs and evaluated their potential for helpful replication. His presentation and book has received high praise from a diverse spectrum of society such as "Dear Abby", leading domestic violence sociologists, attorneys, physicians, law enforcement, and numerous mental health professionals. "Fascinating ... explains the many aspects of domestic violence. A wealth of material that could be helpful." 'Dear Abby' Abigail Van Buren, Syndicated Columnist.
Mr. Cook has appeared on numerous national radio and television shows such as CNN, MSNBC, Fox TV's "The Crier Report", "The O'Reilly Factor" (twice), "The Montel Williams Show", "The Sally Jesse Raphael Show", "The Home and Family Show", Westwood Radio Network (Jim Bohannon Show, Dirk Van), and CBS radio. His articles about domestic violence have been published in The Employee Assistance Professional "Exchange" Magazine, The Oregonian, Women's Freedom Network Magazine, Deseret News, Eugene Register-Guard, and many other publications. He is the co-author of articles in the distinguished academic publication "The Journal for Human Behavior in the Social Environment", and "Journal of Elder Abuse" and his articles have been published in two supplemental college textbooks, including Domestic Violence (Greenhaven Press-2000), as well as an two anthology books published by Disinformation Press. He has been extensively quoted or interviewed as an expert on male victims of domestic violence in more than 100 radio talk shows, as well as in numerous publications such as "Medical Economics", "Law Enforcement Technology" and numerous times in both local and national wire services, (Associated Press Canadian Associated Press) as well as many daily newspapers. "The engaging style of a journalist providing an in-depth discussion of a topic that he acknowledges is controversial." -Journal of Marriage and the Family

Mr. Cook was a radio and television director of news. He was news director at radio stations in Portland, Oregon, San Antonio, Texas, and in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. He also served as director of television news or assistant director of news at television stations in Reno, Nevada and Kennewick, Washington. He has received awards for his reporting from The Associated Press, The Professional Journalism Society, and the Radio Television News Directors Association .He is a graduate of the University of Oregon (79) with a BS in Journalism.

Customer Reviews

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Philip W. Cook.
J. Steven Svoboda (real name)
Then I met my wife, who was very much a hitter, and extremely emotionally abusive.
Reading this book was like looking into the life of a very dear family member.
Amazon Customer

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

50 of 52 people found the following review helpful By graeme on December 16, 2002
Format: Hardcover
Congratulations for writing a book on this subject. You may save some lives. I work for a voluntary organisation in the UK called ManKind that helps male victims of domestic violence, as until we set up this chairty last year there was nowhere for abused men to turn. Some of the other reviews here show a major problem we have: wherever we go to try for funding or even charity status we seem to meet people who say: no, abused men don't exist, or that if they do they ask for it, or they enjoy it (when I have received a phone call from a man in tears who has just been stabbed in the arm and thrown out of his (their) home with his (their) two children, I can't believe that people can make this claim), or they should be able to look after themselves. What matters is that being abused, verbally or physically, by someone who you love or who you are in a relationship with, is absolutely terrible, about the worst thing that will happen to anyone unfortunate to experience it. I know because it happened to me last year, out of the blue, but it trapped me and took me to the edge of a cliff. This abusive relationship (I'm 6ft andover 12stone, she's 5ft 4in and 8 stone) left me with more than 100 bruises and cuts, three bust ribs and mental scars that will take years to heal. NEVER ONCE DID I HOLD HER, THREATEN HER OR HIT HER BACK. I believe she is very unwell and was, as is often the case in abusive relationships, hitting someone else (in her mind) when she hit me. Incidentally, ManKind chairty has started to help female abusers as there is nowhere they can turn in the UK either - further evidence that this problem has just been ignored until now.Read more ›
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39 of 41 people found the following review helpful By Eugen Lupri on April 25, 2003
Format: Hardcover
Philip Cook's Abused Men  is well conceived, well documented, and well written; it is an excellent source book for both perpetrators and victims of domestic violence as well as for  police officers, community leaders, health care providers, family therapists, crisis-line workers, and other helping professionals. Another positive aspect of this book is Cook's  ability to make research findings on male abuse and its consequences accessible and understandable for readers new to the field of domestic violence. The book can serve as an eye opener about the factions, disagreements, and controversy that are part of the issue of domestic violence.
Eugen Lupri, Ph.D.
Professor Emeritus of Sociology
The University of Calgary
Calgary, Alberta
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36 of 38 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 23, 1999
Format: Hardcover
If the woman in your life is out to get you, you must read this book. It is extremely helpful and the only book I know of exclusively on the subject of husband/boyfriend battering by women. The statistics in this book are surprising and the stories of the abused men in this book are its strongest point. This is really a breakthrough book.
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33 of 37 people found the following review helpful By J. Steven Svoboda (real name) on October 9, 2002
Format: Hardcover
Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence. Philip W. Cook.
Westport, Connecticut: Praeger Publications, 1997.
More than twenty years ago, Murray Straus and Richard Gelles
published their first landmark study and Erin Pizzey wrote Prone to
Violence, both documenting the dreadful truth that women and men
commit violence against their spouses with roughly equal frequency
at all levels of severity. And yet today, nearly all Americans
still buy into the media-created myth that domestic violence is
something men almost exclusively do to women.
Philip Cook's badly needed book is the first to comprehensively
focus on men as victims of domestic violence. Cook's achievement
is admirable. Not only does he cover his topic succinctly and
thoroughly, meticulously documenting each step he takes, but he
also delves into a number of pertinent related issues lesser
authors might have missed entirely.
Cook starts with the facts, noting that in about half of all
domestic violence cases, both partners are engaged in mutual
combat. In 25% of the cases, the man is the aggressor, and in the
other quarter of the cases, the woman is the aggressor. Cook
succinctly summarizes differences between male and female patterns
of violence and injury: men tend to use bodily force more and to
injure women more severely when they do so. Men rarely use violent
women's favorite weapons, knives and guns. Multiple injuries are
less common for men but their single injuries caused by weapons
often require medical attention.
Cook always manages to keep his eye on the larger picture,
discussing the disturbing circle of violence often created when
battering is witnessed by children.
Read more ›
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37 of 43 people found the following review helpful By Vincent Bost on March 6, 2003
Format: Hardcover
First, let me say that this book is perhaps one of the most important books you will ever read. Not just because of the implications to public policy, but because a male friend or relative you know may be abused and you're not aware of it. It's a huge problem, as the author argues.
Regarding the statistics, one reviewer wrote "The information that half of abuse is by women is a deliberate misreading of research that was done that did not distinguish between types, severity, and lethality of behaviors, nor offensive or defensive."
What this reviewer is ignoring is the fact that Mr. Cook is quoting the exact same source that battered women's advocates quote. The next time you hear someone say "A woman is battered every X seconds...", be aware that they are not actually quoting the FBI or the DOJ, what they are quoting is the Family Research Laboratory, which is where that number originated. What they've done is left out the other half of the statistic. (Probably because it's not politically convenient for them to quote the whole thing.)
"Ah, but it doesn't distinguish between types, severity, and lethality of behaviors, nor offensive or defensive!" What they again fail to mention is that that also applies to the "female" half of the statistic. To say that a woman is battered every X number of seconds without examining whether or not it was done in self defense, whether or not it was "mild" abuse, whether or not it resulted in death, is rather dishonest if you're going to insist on applying that strict analysis to the "male" half of the statistic. Apply it to both, or don't.
In other words, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
What they are essentially saying is "It's not abuse when it happens to a man." That, my friends, is pure BS.
Read more ›
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