Accidental Bond [Paperback]

Susan Merrell (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 14, 1997

"A fascinating and informative read."

*The Boston Globe



"A RICH SOURCE OF FASCINATING MATERIAL about the complex realities of siblinghood and a valuable commentary on the impact that these little-studied relationships have upon our lives."

*The New Republic



"Many books have attempted to tackle the complex theme of sibling connection. But rather than look at the minutae of these relationships, journalist Susan Scarf Merrell examines the big issues that all siblings wrestle with in their own unique ways *in particular the Three Cs: Competition, Cooperation, and Comparison. What she discovered was that no matter what kind of relationship we now have with our siblings *close or distant, loving or hostile *our histories with them exert a profound effect on our current relationship with lovers, friends, coworkers, and our own children. Drawing on the most current research; the work of psychologists, psychiatrists, and family experts; and stories from brothers and sisters themselves, Merrell illustrates that through siblings, we come to know both the worst and the very best that lurks within each of us.



"Susan Merrell brilliantly illuminates how the peculiar mix of biology, history, and intimacy makes our attachments to siblings so essential to knowing ourselves."

*Mary Kay Blakely

Author of American Mom

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Journalist Merrell, drawing on interviews with adult siblings as well as research from leading psychologists and social scientists, reveals that our sibling relationships that were determined in childhood influence our lives in often unsuspected and startling ways. No matter what kind of relationship we now have with our siblings, our histories with them exert a profound effect on our current relationships with lovers, friends, coworkers, even our own children. Understanding that bond can give us fresh insights into the adults we have become. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Although both of these books are about sibling relationships, the similarity ends there. Foster, who teaches nonfiction writing at the University of Iowa, has pulled together 20 diverse essays from some of today's best-known female writers. Contributors to this volume include bell hooks, Robin Behn, Letty Cottin Pogrebin, and Joy Williams. The essays, while all centering on the themes of sisterly relationships, run the literary gamut. Fanciful fiction pieces are included, as are straightforward autobiographical anecdotes and a couple of critical essays. Any library with a demand for contemporary women's literature should have this collection. Merrell's book, on the other hand, is a journalist's psychoanalytic look at the dynamics of all sibling relationships. Based on in-depth interviews, this work tries to explain the hidden forces that bring siblings together and push them apart. The case studies showcase a variety of familial situations, including relationships between twins and half-siblings and the special bond between a special-needs brother and his caretaker sister. The book suffers from too many diversions; Merrell's long asides interrupt her narrative flow. Despite this organizational flaw, her book is a worthwhile addition to most public and undergraduate libraries because of the author's extensive and enlightening research.?Pamela A. Matthews, Missouri Western State Coll., St. Joseph
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; 1st Ballantine Books Ed edition (January 14, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0449911195
• ISBN-13: 978-0449911198
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #747,797 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Descriptive and informative, November 27, 1999

By 

Martha Mckie (Jacksonville, FL USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Accidental Bond (Paperback)

This book was written by a journalist who interviewed all the siblings of several families. The descriptions of the people that she met were well-drawn. The author also outlined some of the concepts that have been put forth by psychologists studying sibling relationships and character development. These were interesting, and went beyond the most usual system of birth order characterization.

My intent in reading this book was to gain some insight on some pernicious troubles that persevere in my relationships with my own siblings. This book didn't seem very helpful in that light. A few of the relationships had some undercurrents, or outright problems, but there wasn't a lot of narrative about solving the problems. The problematic relationships seemed to be glossed over by the subjects themselves, so that there wasn't even any material that gave me a chance to see problems similar to my own from the other perspective.

1 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars interesting perspective on siblings, May 27, 1996

By A Customer

This review is from: The Accidental Bond: The Power of Sibling Relationships (Hardcover)

This book gave me much to think about how I relate to my adult sisters. The stories of the siblings told by the siblings are well-written by Susan Scarf Merrell. I look forward to her next book.