At thirty-nine, movie critic Mary Pols knew she wanted to have a baby. But never—not in a million years—on her own. When she finds herself unexpectedly expecting, she plunges into the greatest adventure of her life. With humor, insight, and compelling honesty, Pols reveals what it means to compromise in the name of love and to find joy in an accidental life, suddenly brimming with purpose.
Accidentally on Purpose (P.S.)
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Book Description
--This text refers to the
Paperback
edition.
Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
First-time author Pols fashions an earnest, endearing memoir about how she hit her late 30s without a mate, but still managed to beat her biological clock. Finding herself pregnant at 39 after picking up a cute 29-year-old named Matt at a Bay Area bar, the author, the youngest of a large Catholic family from Maine, resolved to make a go at single motherhood. A successful film critic, if not exactly rich, she nonetheless figured out (with the help of her devoted circle of friends and family) a plan to live and raise the baby, including residing for a spell in a friend's trailer while pregnant. She barely knows her baby daddy, whom she portrays as sweet, if mostly directionless and unemployed. Her book good-naturedly traces some of the early hurdles of her experience, such as telling the Grinch (her father), finding out the sex of the baby and trying to sneak into a film screening with her infant. Candid and unaffected, Pols provides an important lesson about not being willing to compromise herself, and that being brave can bring the richest rewards. (June)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
“[Pols writes] with humor and grace. . . . It’s rare to find such honesty, even in an account so personal. Grade: A-” (Entertainment Weekly )
“Sharp, witty and slightly self-deprecating, she alternates clever, camera-ready one-liners with intense self-revelations about parents, children, love and family….” (San Francisco Chronicle )
“Ms. Pols is a charming and insightful storyteller, and her memoir is both engrossing and endearing ...” (New York Observer )
“Her writing is mesmerizing and lyrical. I laughed and cried and shook my head at some of her choices, but I rooted for her and her son the whole way.” (Minneapolis Star Tribune )
“Much as Pols’s story resembles the Judd Apatow movie, it is distinct in its heartfelt description of a woman who has come up against the edge of youth and expectation.” (Cookie Magazine )
“It’s funny, intimate, wise, and real, and we get to root for fortysomething Mary, her twentysomething coparent, Matt, and their little son, Dolan, now four.” (Elle )
“Amid joy and heartbreak, Pols grows from a self-absorbed and judgmental whiner into a self-aware adult and loving mother. It’s her transformation that makes this memoir an unforgettable read.” (Diablo Magazine )
“Bay Area film critic Pols chronicles her unexpected pregnancy and journey into not-quite-single motherhood….A page-turner by someone who stopped waiting for Mr. Perfect.” (Kirkus Reviews )
“Candid and unaffected, Pols provides an important lesson about not being willing to compromise herself, and that being brave can bring the richest rewards.” (Publishers Weekly )
“… a well-written, emotionally honest memoir of Pols’ journey to motherhood and increased maturity…. She details with wit and humor her efforts to juggle her many challenges…” (BookPage )
“...far transcends its particulars...thoughtful, funny and sexy...a delightful meditation on partnership, desire, fulfillment...” (Peggy Orenstein, bestselling author of Schoolgirls and Waiting for Daisy )
“Astutely witty...will grip you to the very last page. This is a feminist tale for our age.” (Heidi Julavits, author of The Uses of Enchantment )
“... [A] touching, funny, and brutally honest story...[Pols] is opinionated, vulnerable, droll, tenacious, acerbic, loyal...real.” (Kate Moses, author of Because I Said So: 33 Mothers Write About Children, Sex, Men, Aging, Faith, Race & Themselves )
“Sharp, witty and slightly self-deprecating, she alternates clever, camera-ready one-liners with intense self-revelations about parents, children, love and family….” (San Francisco Chronicle )
“Ms. Pols is a charming and insightful storyteller, and her memoir is both engrossing and endearing ...” (New York Observer )
“Her writing is mesmerizing and lyrical. I laughed and cried and shook my head at some of her choices, but I rooted for her and her son the whole way.” (Minneapolis Star Tribune )
“Much as Pols’s story resembles the Judd Apatow movie, it is distinct in its heartfelt description of a woman who has come up against the edge of youth and expectation.” (Cookie Magazine )
“It’s funny, intimate, wise, and real, and we get to root for fortysomething Mary, her twentysomething coparent, Matt, and their little son, Dolan, now four.” (Elle )
“Amid joy and heartbreak, Pols grows from a self-absorbed and judgmental whiner into a self-aware adult and loving mother. It’s her transformation that makes this memoir an unforgettable read.” (Diablo Magazine )
“Bay Area film critic Pols chronicles her unexpected pregnancy and journey into not-quite-single motherhood….A page-turner by someone who stopped waiting for Mr. Perfect.” (Kirkus Reviews )
“Candid and unaffected, Pols provides an important lesson about not being willing to compromise herself, and that being brave can bring the richest rewards.” (Publishers Weekly )
“… a well-written, emotionally honest memoir of Pols’ journey to motherhood and increased maturity…. She details with wit and humor her efforts to juggle her many challenges…” (BookPage )
“...far transcends its particulars...thoughtful, funny and sexy...a delightful meditation on partnership, desire, fulfillment...” (Peggy Orenstein, bestselling author of Schoolgirls and Waiting for Daisy )
“Astutely witty...will grip you to the very last page. This is a feminist tale for our age.” (Heidi Julavits, author of The Uses of Enchantment )
“... [A] touching, funny, and brutally honest story...[Pols] is opinionated, vulnerable, droll, tenacious, acerbic, loyal...real.” (Kate Moses, author of Because I Said So: 33 Mothers Write About Children, Sex, Men, Aging, Faith, Race & Themselves )
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More About the Author
Mary Pols is the author of "Accidentally on Purpose" (June 2008, Ecco/Harper Collins. In hardback, it had one of those long subtitles that give away a lot and we've streamlined it for the paperback release to "The True Tale of a Happy Single Mother." A native of Maine, Pols has spent most of her professional life as a journalist in California. From 2000 to 2008 she was the film critic for the Contra Costa Times in the Bay Area, and before that, a staff writer for the Los Angeles Times, Seattle Times and the Los Angeles Daily News. Pols lives in Northern California and is working on her next book, a novel. She's also a freelance journalist and critic. Her movie reviews can be found at Time.com and MSN Movies.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
24 of 26 people found the following review helpful
By a lange
Format:Hardcover
Though I really enjoyed this book for a variety of reasons, it concerns me that Pols was so ruthless and revealing about her relationship with her son's father. Although she certainly does not paint herself as the perfect mate or parent, she is not gracious about her son's father's (perceived) failings. I just thought it brutal, and more than a little indecorous to go into such detail about their sexual behavior and how he doesn't measure up in so many ways. How unkind a picture to bequeath her son! I think the rationale that it is for "art's sake" is thin, and symptomatic of our boundry-less popular culture. Sure, Pols is honest about her own warts, but that doesn't mitigate the cruel overexposure she has subjected her son and his father to.
That said, it is often funny and definitely a page-turner.
That said, it is often funny and definitely a page-turner.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I decided to read ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE: THE TRUE TALE OF A HAPPY SINGLE MOTHER by Mary F. Pols because I thought the book looked "cute." I mean the cover is just precious, right? Plus, the author's story had an uncanny likeness to someone I know, and I was a bit curious to get some insight into the situation. After reading ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE, I definitely can say that it was a very interesting story and a very good book. And while I didn't always understand Ms. Pols' actions and I did have some difficulties relating to her, none of that affected my enjoyment of this book.
ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE is Mary Pols' story of becoming a single mother and how she worked out all of the kinks that she encountered along the way. Ms. Pols hooked up one night with a younger man that she had just met at a bar. She had a good time but realized that they were at very different places in their lives -- he was in his late 20s and didn't even have a steady job. They didn't really stay in touch much after the hook-up, until a few weeks later when she discovered that she was pregnant. As a 39 year old woman who knew she wanted a child, she figured this might be her last chance to have one so she decides to keep the baby.
ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE is Ms. Pols' first book; however, she is not a stranger to the written word. She has been a film reviewer for many years before deciding to undertake a book writing career. I found ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE to be very readable, and I became caught up in Ms. Pols' life (and her predicament) right from the start. I was very impressed with storytelling abilities and her writing style, but I think I was more impressed with her honesty. There are parts of this story that aren't exactly flattering towards Ms. Pols, yet she told this story in a very real and upfront manner. I didn't feel as if she were holding anything back! What I also really liked about this book was how she managed to tell this story with so much wit. Her writing was extremely smart and funny while also being insightful.
I expected this book to tell me the story of Ms. Pols' pregnancy and her transition into motherhood as well as her relationship issues with the father (and it definitely was); but what I didn't expect was how much of this story would be about the relationship between Ms. Pols and her parents. I was deeply touched by how Ms. Pols wrote about her aging parents and how she dealt with these changes. I really appreciated how Ms. Pols was able to open up to the reader about everything that was happening in her life and how it affected her -- trying to figure out her relationships, becoming a first time mother, and losing her parents. She definitely managed to go through a lot in just a short period of time -- and survive! I found her story to be rather inspiring at times.
ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE is Mary Pols' story of becoming a single mother and how she worked out all of the kinks that she encountered along the way. Ms. Pols hooked up one night with a younger man that she had just met at a bar. She had a good time but realized that they were at very different places in their lives -- he was in his late 20s and didn't even have a steady job. They didn't really stay in touch much after the hook-up, until a few weeks later when she discovered that she was pregnant. As a 39 year old woman who knew she wanted a child, she figured this might be her last chance to have one so she decides to keep the baby.
ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE is Ms. Pols' first book; however, she is not a stranger to the written word. She has been a film reviewer for many years before deciding to undertake a book writing career. I found ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE to be very readable, and I became caught up in Ms. Pols' life (and her predicament) right from the start. I was very impressed with storytelling abilities and her writing style, but I think I was more impressed with her honesty. There are parts of this story that aren't exactly flattering towards Ms. Pols, yet she told this story in a very real and upfront manner. I didn't feel as if she were holding anything back! What I also really liked about this book was how she managed to tell this story with so much wit. Her writing was extremely smart and funny while also being insightful.
I expected this book to tell me the story of Ms. Pols' pregnancy and her transition into motherhood as well as her relationship issues with the father (and it definitely was); but what I didn't expect was how much of this story would be about the relationship between Ms. Pols and her parents. I was deeply touched by how Ms. Pols wrote about her aging parents and how she dealt with these changes. I really appreciated how Ms. Pols was able to open up to the reader about everything that was happening in her life and how it affected her -- trying to figure out her relationships, becoming a first time mother, and losing her parents. She definitely managed to go through a lot in just a short period of time -- and survive! I found her story to be rather inspiring at times.
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
By Tina
Format:Hardcover
Mary Pols is getting older and her life has not quite turned out the way she would have liked. She is way too close to 40, her love life is a bit of a problem and she is not quite sure where to go from there.
Yet, one night, fate intervenes - while having a one night stand - she accidentally gets pregnant.
From that point on, life is never quite the same -and that is just fine with the author!
This absolutely funny, endearing and somewhat romantic (if at times frustrating) memoir shows us that being a single mom is the hardest job you will ever do, but also the most rewarding. We follow Mary through her many, many ups and downs and we can almost physically see the learning curve she is on (what a ride).
Into the mix, of course, is the man who fathered her child - who, at times, seems to bring out Mary's maternal instincts even more.
Follow the journey as Mary tries to figure out which her the two men in her life is the biggest baby!!!!
I loved this memoir - I am hoping Mary will write a follow up so that we can find out the next chapter in everyone's life!!!
Yet, one night, fate intervenes - while having a one night stand - she accidentally gets pregnant.
From that point on, life is never quite the same -and that is just fine with the author!
This absolutely funny, endearing and somewhat romantic (if at times frustrating) memoir shows us that being a single mom is the hardest job you will ever do, but also the most rewarding. We follow Mary through her many, many ups and downs and we can almost physically see the learning curve she is on (what a ride).
Into the mix, of course, is the man who fathered her child - who, at times, seems to bring out Mary's maternal instincts even more.
Follow the journey as Mary tries to figure out which her the two men in her life is the biggest baby!!!!
I loved this memoir - I am hoping Mary will write a follow up so that we can find out the next chapter in everyone's life!!!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Accidentally on purpose
I thought this book was fantastic. I had a hard putting it down, l had to see what the next chapter brought. I love her humor even in moments of frustration. Read more
Published 23 days ago by Gerry Giacomelli
4.0 out of 5 stars
Totally Accessible
Congrats to Mary Pols. Excellent memoir. I felt like I was her best friend every step of the way through her book about her unplanned pregnancy with a one night stand. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Miss Jodella
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great read
I found Ms. Pol to be a raw, honest writer, sometimes so honest I was uncomfortable. But I appreciate someone who is able to be so open despite the risk of judgement. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Lara Adejumo
5.0 out of 5 stars
Unexpectedly good read
This book was not what I expected it to be. Initially I thought it would be a somewhat shallow read, but it was so well written and full of emotion and humor. Read more
Published on March 31, 2011 by Mrs.Thunders
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book was terrific!
I couldn't put this book down from page one. I think my husband was actually a little bit jealous of this book, lol. Read more
Published on October 11, 2010 by Kellye C.
5.0 out of 5 stars
felt like her sister
Mary Pols' book, especially the description of her relationship with her father was poignant and impossible to put down - next book I am reading is Jim Harrison's "The English... Read more
Published on August 27, 2010 by Answer Lady
4.0 out of 5 stars
Single Dad Review
Mary Pols shares her unconventional life as a single mom, daughter, and journalist in this memoir. The book honestly addresses her relationship with her parents, her baby's daddy,... Read more
Published on September 10, 2009 by Lynn Byrd Cpa
3.0 out of 5 stars
Fine, just fine.
I was intrigued when I found the book in an airport book store and quickly read it without wanting to put it down for a second. Read more
Published on July 22, 2009 by Rachel S.
4.0 out of 5 stars
A loving memoir of learning to love what is
This was a wonderful book which I could barely put down each time I picked it up. Dinners were late, dishes were left in the sink, and laundry piled up while I immersed myself in... Read more
Published on May 25, 2009 by Lia
5.0 out of 5 stars
A very enjoyable read
As a single mum myself I wanted to read Mary's story and I couldn't put the book down. I related to a lot of what Mary went through from when she found out she was pregnant, to... Read more
Published on May 24, 2009 by Jenny
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