Amazon.com Review
In the space of a few months, 11-year-old Alex Raeburn is bounced among seven psychiatrists and prescribed even more drugs, among them Lithium and Depakote, after lashing out at his 5th-grade teacher. The doctors are swift to prescribe pills but slow to provide therapy, despite varying opinions on what the diagnosis may be--maybe depression, ADHD, or an anxiety disorder. While the family finds little relief from the medical establishment, author Paul Raeburn, Alex's dad, slowly admits that his lack of parenting and anger-management skills may have exacerbated his son's condition. Some of his temper tantrums, one of which involves flooding their kitchen, are as frightening as his son's manic episodes.
Ironically, as the science and medicine reporter for BusinessWeek, Raeburn had access to the most prestigious names in psychiatry, but his denial of Alex's emotional problems was so strong that he didn't even bother to look up the (significant) side effects of his son's prescriptions in the Physician's Desk Reference: "I was not going to read about psychiatric drugs and mental illness because I was not going to be the parent of a mentally ill kid." He and Alex are given hope from bipolar expert Kay Redfield Jamison, who, during a book signing, writes, "Things will get better." They do, but not before the Raeburns' marriage disintegrates and Alex's younger sister Alicia is also repeatedly hospitalized for depression and attempted suicide. Raeburn's bravery in telling his childrens' story is to be commended, but the reader is left wondering just how much of Alex and Alicia's misery can be blamed on his own moodiness, prejudices, and procrastination. --Erica Jorgensen
--This text refers to the
Hardcover
edition.
From Publishers Weekly
Raeburn writes, "[T]here is no manual for taking care of a child with a psychiatric ailment," and it's crucial that readers of this soul-baring memoir know this isn't meant to be one. Raeburn fully discloses the daily struggles he faces with his childrenâ"one bipolar, the other chronically depressedâ"but what emerges is less about them than about him. He is the center of the narrativeâ"a pragmatic journalist with an anger problem and a failed marriage who wants what's best for his children, but like most parents is groping in the dark for what that is. Honorably, Raeburn publicly acknowledges his thwarted search for parenting solutions. This work is, in some ways, his extended apology to his children for this failing. But the book serves a public good, too: it will remind parents of children with mental illness that they aren't alone in their exhausting quest to find adequate health care, fight insurance companies and love unconditionally. In fact, they're part of a growing community of parents scrambling to get their children the few resources that exist. The book, though focused on the personal, does have larger political implications. Unfortunately Raeburn, a former
Business Week science and medicine writer, isn't adept at weaving the broader importance into his smaller story. When he incorporates research or sociological observation, it feels segmented and distracting. Raeburn's greatest gift is his brave honesty. He challenges all parents to take responsibility and claim their part in their children's pain.
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--This text refers to the
Hardcover
edition.