Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
I'll bet you've got this idea of a man who is likely to do well with women. Rich, tall, muscular, spends a lot of time at the gym. Makes a lot of money and drives a flash car. Smart too, no doubt, "successful." He probably has other James-Bondish features as well; knows a lot about wine, dresses well, speaks two or three languages, well-traveled.
How can anyone compete with such a paragon? Clearly the only thing for the ordinary man to do is throw up his hands in despair and hope he can somehow attract the company of some bedraggled and cut-rate but halfway willing female, while the so-called paragons make off with all the fine women. Right?
Everything, literally everything you are thinking here is false. I don't know where these delusional James Bond fantasy figures come from (though I suspect they are transmitted mainly via the distilled insecurities of male screenwriters,) but it's all wrong. To begin with (and please remember, you're hearing this from a woman,) what women really think of overachieving self-infatuated guys who drive embarrassingly ostentatious cars and spend half the day adoring their own reflections in the gym, you know, well---we think they are liable to be absolute tools. We assume that this guy probably thinks he'd be doing me a big favor by asking me out--gross!
Even if such a guy is not really a big poser, but only "successful," as in super career-driven, the average woman is liable to think: he'll never be home; he's too busy for me; I'll be forever waiting by the telephone. I'll never come first with him. If we are not really materialists ourselves, a guy with too much money is apt to kind of scare us off, too. We worry that he won't like our friends, or like going to our favorite hole in the wall; that we will wind up stuck in some stultifying Four Seasons hotel all day while he goes and plays golf with a load of total creeps. And, worst of all: how many other women is this guy paying court to? Am I going to be just no. 8? Is this one of those Hefner scenarios because if it is, in the wise words of Sam Goldwyn, include me out.
So, in order to get girls into bed quite easily, does a man need to be rich? No.
Muscular? Certainly not.
Giant penis? NO.
Fancy car? Don't make me laugh!
All these absurd ideas about being a hit with chicks came not from women but from men, and still worse, from men who have absolutely no idea how women are constituted.
So first of all, you've got to clear your mind completely of every preconception you've been fed about women and what they want from men.
Let me begin by setting you straight on the main point:
It's not about you; it's about her.