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127 of 141 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Steve gets it partially right, March 30, 2009
This review is from: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment (Hardcover)
The central premise of Steve Harvey's book is that women are not setting stringent enough standards in their romantic dealings with men. As such, he posits, they are giving away their social power and selling themselves short on their dating/mating goals.
Steve is partially correct, but he misses the central point. It is true that women do tend to settle for less than they truly want when dating, but the damage they're doing to themselves is not ultimately a result of letting men get away with murder, so to speak. Rather, the problem originates from the fact that women are choosing the wrong men. Decent men don't look for any opportunity to take advantage of women. They don't take that mile when given the proverbial inch. The men who do are the players, chiselers and con artists, the kinds of men who may look good in the store window but fall totally apart when you get them home from the mall.
'Act Like a Lady' ultimately is a rehashing of the familiar 'men are incorrigible dogs' theory of gender. It's a tired story that I'd hope we had moved past, but here it is again in a new package. Yes, men like sex. Yes, men like to look around. But decent men are able to control their urges, especially when they know that not doing so will cause great pain to those around them. Steve's theory doesn't stand up to real life, where if you spend any time, you quickly realize that uniqueness is a defining human personality trait.
Most women do have high standards--that is, until they run into a man who knows all the right things to say to circumvent their defenses. A woman can absolutely KNOW that she's worth all the trouble, but she'll totally drop her guard when a skilled player comes along saying all the right things. He's selling something she didn't even consciously realize that she wanted, and in the end she's a sucker for it. Some guys get very good at this because they practice deception from an early age with girls. It's up to women to see these men for who they are and to look the other way when they pour on the insincere charm.
Women need to realize that the adage 'all that glitters is not gold' applies to men as well as minerals.
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73 of 86 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
A Terrible Book That Proves Men Are Simple-minded, April 17, 2010
This review is from: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment (Hardcover)
This terribly-written book has Harvey spouting humorless relational philosophy, such as "men are simple creatures." And he proves that point by writing such a simple-minded book that it's a complete waste of time to read it.
The book is sexist, stereotyping all men into knuckle-dragging, sports-loving hunters that just need a little sex to keep them happy. The book is addressed to women, telling them to dress better, accept that the guy won't talk much, and give sex more often in order to keep their guy from straying.
Most offensive is Harvey's constant references to "the Lord" and Jesus, leading people to believe he upholds spirituality, yet he point blank tells people to have sex after 90 days together and accepts a couple living together without being married. He often mentions going to church--didn't he learn anything there?
He also conveniently fails to mention that he has been married three times. The book would lead you to believe he was married once, to a woman he admittedly slept with and cheated on before she threatened to walk out on him. There is also no real mention of his children. A quick check of his bio online will uncover the truth. If you can't trust a guy writing a book about relationships to come clean about his own relationships, then why read the book?
There are a couple of valid points, such as the fact that men need respect and loyalty from women. But the lousy writing style and simplistic examples negate any reason to read this book.
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68 of 83 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Nothing new here, April 7, 2009
This review is from: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment (Hardcover)
I don't understand why everyone thinks this is such a great book. While I found less than a half a dozen things to even smile about. I did find lots of stereotypical fluff and nonsense. If the author intended this book to be funny, he missed the boat. Its not. But if that's what you bought this book for, what a waste of both time and money. Because the alternative would be sad... advice???? I hope readers aren't using this sludge as groundbreaking, thought provoking or insightful advice. Its almost mind-numbing to think most women wouldn't already know most of this. SH is careful to say that all men don't fit into his categories. I would be more apt to say, that most men or the good ones, don't.) One example...SH says he doesn't know a single man who has NOT cheated on his wife. He should probably concentrate on getting a better class of friends and leave the advice to others better "suited."
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