Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment (Hardcover)

~ (Author)
Key Phrases: like your love, Strawberry Letter, Steve Harvey Morning Show, Ask Steve (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

As a popular comedian, radio host and red-blooded male, Harvey doesn't have the bona fides typical to most women's relationship self-help, but he still manages a thorough, witty guide to the modern man. Harvey undertakes the tast because "Women are clueless about men," because "Men get away with a whole lot of stuff" and because he has "some valuable information to change all of that." Harvey makes a game effort, taking a bold but familiar men-are-dogs approach: if you're "cutting back" on sex, "he will have another woman lined up and waiting to give him what he needs and wants--the cookie." Several chapters later, however, he introduces the "ninety-day rule," asserting that, actually, he won't always have another woman lined up--and the only way to makes sure is a three-month vetting period. Harvey also tackles mama's boys, "independent--and lonely--women," and the matter of children in the dating world ("If he's meeting the kids after you decide he's the one, it's too late"). Feminists and the easily offended probably won't take to Harvey's blanket statements and blunt advice, but Harvey's fans and those in need of tough (but ticklish) love advice should check it out (especially the hysterical last-chapter Q&A).
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Review

"Women should listen to Steve Harvey when it comes to what a good man is about. Steve Harvey dispenses a lot of fabulous information about men. It's more than the average man will usually tell you. Steve Harvey will give it up." (Aretha Franklin )

"A thorough, witty guide to the modern man....those in need of tough (but ticklish) love advice should check it out (especially the hysterical last-chapter Q&A)." (Publishers Weekly )

"[This] book offers surprising insights into the male mentality and gives woman a few a few strategies for taming that unruly beast." (The Philadelphia Inquirer )

"Filled with practical principles, rules and tips, and illustrated with humorous and warm-hearted anecdotes from Harvey's life and friendships, ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN gives readers the real deal about the differences between the sexes and how to bridge them for a mutually rewarding partnership." (New York Beacon )

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Amistad (January 27, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061728977
• ISBN-13: 978-0061728976
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (763 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #165 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

53 of 63 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars He knows his stuff. Don't overlook this one., June 6, 2009

By	Haley Johnson - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Seriously, I know he's a comic and everything, but he's got some good advice in this book. And it's not hard to read, either. He has a lot humor that makes this book so enjoyable to read. I liked it so much, I hope he has a followup. I'd recommend it, definetly, along with Lucky In Love, Lucky In Life: How To Be Wanted-Use the Law of Attraction to Date the Man You Most Desire and Live the Life You Deserve.

197 of 245 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Mostly, I found his candor helpful, February 23, 2009

By	Kare Anderson "Kare Anderson" (Sausalito, CA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Women are "leaving the door open for a guy to get away with something...Here's what's happened over the years," says comic and radio host Steve Harvey. "Women's standards and requirements have lowered over the years. And as men, we know that. We have taken advantage of it. We've created terms that we feed to women that allow us to exist as we do," he told Belinda Luscome when discussing his New York Times best seller, co-authored with Denene Millner, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. For example, Harvey said (and I'm abbreviating) ...

1. We created the term "nagging." There's really no such thing as nagging. As soon as a woman starts registering her complaint, we call it nagging. We let you know it will drive us away.

2. When you first meet a man, so you don't ask a lot of personal questions, and questions about his business, we created the term gold-digger. Now why would a woman not be concerned about her financial future?

3. Three things men want from women: support, loyalty and "the cookie" (sex): "We'll take a lot of things from a woman. But we have to have these three things. You take away any one of them, you lose a man's affection."

4. Three ways men show love to women: profess, provide and protect: "We have to define love in some kind of way. The problem with women is they have this great spectrum of what love is, and they want it reciprocated the same way they give it out. But we men can only nurture to a certain degree. It's not in our DNA ... We want to profess our love. We tell everyone," he told an Atlanta audience.

5. "Men are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make. ... These three things make up the basic DNA of manhood-the three accomplishments every man must achieve before he feels like he's truly fulfilled his destiny as a man..., and until he's achieved his goal in those three areas, the man you're dating, committed to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you" Harvey wrote in the book.

"I've had two divorces myself. I understand. What I was never able to convey until I got a little older was why I was missing in action... trying so hard to be somebody ... not as emotionally involved," says Harvey who adds that he "could have written it (his book) in "about 35 pages.... because we're guys. We are that simple," he added in the interview.

Sometimes Harvey he sounds like he's offering 1950s Mad Men-era advice, yet not as much as Whitey Casey in The Man Plan. It gets men nodding and some women giving heated responses to him on call-in talk shows:

* Take your husbands last name. It supports men's desire to protect women.

* Men still expect women to keep a clean home.

* It is ok if women don't know how to cook as long as they "cook" in the bedroom.

Three things to ask a man "to decide if he is worth keeping", suggests Harvey, are (and these are just as valuable in reverse for men to ask women) are his:

1. Short-term goals and whether they match his long-term goals.

2. Views on family and kids.

3. Relationship with his mom

I would add:

4. Relationship to his friends

5. Views on money, especially on spending and saving.

6. Strongest values: what most matters to him in character traits and behavior.

196 of 244 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fly in the Barbershop, January 29, 2009

By	Shamontiel L. Vaughn "Web Editor, Author, Rev... (Chicago) - See all my reviews

Women can sit around with our girlfriends talking about how much men don't make sense or how they won't act right, but we oftentimes find better advice by actually asking for advice from our guy friends. The only problem is our guy friends may lie to spare our feelings, but Steve Harvey is not trying to be our friends and he's telling it like it t.i.s. in his new book, "Act Like a Lady: Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment."

Harvey breaks down all of the things that women need to know about men in 15 chapters on relationships--mama's boys, marriage, whether we are the ones for men to sports fish (reel in and throw back into the water when they're done) or a keeper; when we should introduce men to our child(ren); why the 90-day rule for sex makes sense; how independent women can remember to be ladies; the three things that drive men (who they are, what they do, and how much they make); and why "We need to talk" is a phrase that is man's worst enemy.

There are some contradictions within the read, like why women need to get out of the 1945 mentality of waiting on men to marry them, but at the same time, sticking to the chivalrous expectations of letting him open doors, wearing heels, carrying heavy items and letting him fix things and paint. (However, I interviewed him for the "Chicago Defender" [article will be out in February sometime] and he explained why he felt some old-fashioned values should still be met. His analysis made sense too.)

But for every contradiction, there are lessons that make so much sense. Harvey has a point. Women are far more complex with their emotions than men are, judging from his research and his own opinions and observance from my own friends. Poet Maya Angelou said it best when saying "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." That was the main theme throughout Harvey's read--to set standards and stick to them. While some men may feel like Harvey is snitching, women like me finished the read feeling educated and confident in my past decisions. Excellent and quick read, but grab your highlighters and take notes.