Addicted to Unhappiness: Free Yourself from Moods and Behaviors That Undermine Relationships, Work, and the Life You Want [Paperback]

Martha Heineman Pieper (Author), William J. Pieper (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 20, 2004

Drawing upon their years of counseling experience, the bestselling author team of Martha Heineman Pieper, Ph.D. and William J. Pieper, M.D. explain how parenting styles based on discipline and excessive expectations condition children to equate unhappiness with love. This often persists into adulthood, leading to behaviors including eating disorders, compulsive gambling, disastrous romantic choices, substance abuse, and more. This book supplies readers with powerful tools, including self-assessments, checklists, diaries, and exercises, to overcome their need for unhappiness.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

If you have difficulty keeping resolutions, fight with those you care about, are in the power of substance abuse, or find it hard to rebound emotionally from upsetting events, you may be suffering from an addiction to unhappiness. Fortunately, the power to improve the most meaningful aspects of your life always remains in your own hands with Addicted to Unhappiness as your guide.

Like so many others who struggle to better their lives, you have probably made repeated attempts at improvement that never resulted in lasting change. Best-selling author team Martha Heineman Pieper, Ph.D. and William J. Pieper, M.D. apply their years of psychotherapeutic work with children, adolescents, and adults to show you that before you can live the life you want it helps to recognize and understand the internal struggles that stand in your way.  You'll discover how to overcome your addiction and achieve a stable sense of inner balance and happiness.

Both optimistic and realistic, Addicted to Unhappiness focuses equally on effective strategies for positive change and on combating the forces that oppose self-improvement. The authors guide you through getting started I(even when you don't feel like it), coping with episodes of backsliding, keeping your resolve when it starts to evaporate, and thinking of yourself as a recovering addict to unhappiness.

The Piepers offer a lifelong program to guide you through the journey to self-fulfillment.  You'll learn how to transform those inevitable moments when you lose momentum into opportunities for growth and long-term success.  You will discover that backsliding is actually part of the healing process rather than a reason to feel upset and discouraged.

Start getting more pleasure out of life.  Addicted to Unhappiness arms you with the knowledge to change your life for the better, and forever.

From the Back Cover

Are YOU Addicted to Unhappiness?
Are you unable to follow through on important resolutions?
Are you frustrated or inefficient at work?
Is your love life unrewarding or filled with conflict?
Are you plagued by unpleasant emotions for no apparent reason?

Is your life ruled by substance abuse, gambling, or other addictions?

Is your life restricted by compulsions, phobias, or obsessions? Everyone is born with the potential to live fulfilled lives, but many of us find it difficult to realize that potential. Now the best-selling author team of Drs. Martha Heineman Pieper and William J. Pieper help you understand how you may have unknowingly become an addict to unhappiness. Using real-life examples drawn from their clinical experience, the authors provide insights and effective strategies that will help you choose and maintain the happiness you deserve. Optimistic--and realistic--Addicted to Unhappiness will help you discover:

• The origins of your addiction and ways it interferes with your life
• A step-by-step plan to kick your habit
• How to turn setbacks into victories
• The ability to move beyond relationship conflicts and embrace closeness
• Effective ways to get control over painful moods
• A successful approach to achieving a healthy weight and a fit body

. . .And much more to help you break free from discomfort and hold on to happiness.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (March 20, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0071433694
• ISBN-13: 978-0071433693
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (47 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #288,539 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 41 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Identifies a problem but..., September 19, 2005

By 

Sunny California "Beeziemom" (Sunnyvale, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Addicted to Unhappiness: Free Yourself from Moods and Behaviors That Undermine Relationships, Work, and the Life You Want (Paperback)

This is a quick read. The reason I picked it up was trying to understand why a bully at work had me down. On pg 224 the matter is addressed, "Frequently there is someone in the workplace who is snappish, constantly angry or agitated, or who has an emotional hair trigger. The addiction to unhappiness can cause you to take other people's grouchiness personally, when in fact it's not about you but about them. If these difficult coworkers or managers treat everyone else the same way, there is certainly no reason to feel particularly singled out or attacked. By taking their behavior personally, you gratify your addiction to unhappiness and ruin an otherwise good day."

Okay... I feel like I've been given a pat on the head and told to run along.

Every problem outlined is blamed on one's parents and sends you back to their previous book, Smart Love, to understand how the failures of your parents are to blame for everything from eating addictions to my problem with a bully.

Having said that, I think they have identified a real issue - it is mysterious but some people do shoot themselves in the foot when life looks good - but this book is a disappointment if you think it will help you overcome this tendency. The Piepers tout the magic of their therapy sessions which may indeed be true, however this book recycles typical self-help ideas: make a plan for change and be vigilant that you don't backslide, but mostly they repeat over and over again the idea that you are either preventing yourself from achieving happiness or you are actively choosing to cause your own unhappiness.

14 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Practical and Inspirational, September 25, 2005

By 

Amy Cooper (Brockton, MA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Addicted to Unhappiness: Free Yourself from Moods and Behaviors That Undermine Relationships, Work, and the Life You Want (Paperback)

I have been so discouraged in my life trying to make changes. This is the first self-help book that has really helped me. First, it described me and my problems exactly both in relation to my work and also my attempts to stay healthy and fit. Then it gave me really down-to-earth suggestions, most importantly including what to do when I hit a wall. For the first time I have been able to get past my failures and keep going on my resolutions. I cannot recommend this book highly enough!!

11 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars What a refreshing book, October 25, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Addicted to Unhappiness : Free yourself from moods and behaviors that undermine relationships, work, and the life you want (Hardcover)

I can't recommend this book enough. It has helped me see my relationships in a whole new light- both with my spouse and also at work. The relationship questionare really helps you focus on what matters in a relationship and then you learn exactly what to do to get out of those ruts that are so easy to get stuck in.