Adopting in China: A Practical Guide/An Emotional Journey [Paperback]

Kathleen Wheeler PhD (Author), Doug Werner (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 1999

With more than 4 million Chinese baby girls in orphanages, the number of Americans adopting these orphans is steadily increasing, and this resource for people interested in doing so outlines what to do, where to go, who to see, and how much it costs. Simplifying important information about procedures, forms, and agencies, the guide is also the personal story of one middle-aged couple’s quest to become parents—as well as why and how they made the decision and what went on before, during, and after their trip to China.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

This is a slim volume about a complex process--adopting a baby girl in China. It should give detailed information of a practical nature; it doesn't. It does provide a list of resources and agencies--but mostly it is a journal of one couple's adoption process. Frequently, authors Wheeler (a trained psychologist) and Werner (a sports writer) spend more time repetitively detailing their visit to China (they go on about bicycles, smells, strange food, and getting lost) and the trials of having a new baby (formula, crying, diapers) than discussing the adoption process itself. Padded with 90 photos of China and babies, a questionnaire answered by a mere six respondents, and a detailed list of expenses and equipment to take (baby wipes, a money belt, a small knife for enlarging baby bottle nipples), the book is unfailingly enthusiastic--but filled with clich?s about the joys and pitfalls of parenthood, and consistently unhelpful. Not recommended.
-Kitty Chen Dean, Nassau Coll., Garden City, NY
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Kathleen Wheeler, PhD, is the director of human resources at Safeskin Incorporated. Doug Werner is the author of nine books in the Start-Up Sports series. They both live in San Diego, California.

Product Details

• Paperback: 128 pages
• Publisher: Tracks Publishing (October 1, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1884654002
• ISBN-13: 978-1884654008
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 2.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,041,085 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars thumbs down, October 25, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Adopting in China: A Practical Guide/An Emotional Journey (Paperback)

I am also applying to adopt from China, and have read a number of travel stories from people with the shared experience. This is simply a longer version. I was upset by the author's description of chewing out Asian businessmen in a restaurant because they were smoking. Isn't this an "ugly American" act? He spent more time describing the the gyms in China then describing his new daughter's first responses to him and his wife. He can't wait to get home & put that child in $1,000/month daycare and get his book printed. In talking to my adoption agency, some of the information regarding tax benefits and employee assistence were simply wrong. I found this book disappointing. There are far better stories out there.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Not worth the money or the time to read., April 26, 2004

By 

"qwerty4476" (Troy, MO United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Adopting in China: A Practical Guide/An Emotional Journey (Paperback)

My husband and I are in the paperchase process of adopting from China. Like some other reviewers, I thought this book would give me an indication of how the process would play out once we're over there. What I found in this book were the snobby, close-minded and down-right insulting remarks from a couple who didn't really seem like they even liked their new daughter. For example, at one point, the husband wrote that they spent one evening "making fun" of the little girl. I was shocked, but keep reading, much to my regret.

There were instances of a true disregard for the culture he was visiting. While in a restaurant one night, he was disgusted that there were some Chinese businessmen at a nearby table who were smoking. As he and his party were leaving, he made some "crude comments" to the men and "had a good laugh" about it afterwards. No wonder most of the world thinks Americans are rude!

For the most part, he did nothing but complain about the entire experience. The food, the weather, the travel, the baby, EVERYTHING. I would say 97% of the book is comprised of complaints regarding China, and the other 3% is lame comments about 'how beautiful some of the country is'. Hypocrite.

And as a few other reviewers have stated, they came home and immediately placed the baby in all-day daycare. They drop her off at 7 in the morning and don't pick her up until 5. What's the point of having a child at all? I can understand if your financial situation requires two incomes, but this couple didn't strike me as people who really wanted a child in the first place. Her 'biological clock' went off, and because of their ages, they decided to adopt. That's the feeling I get.

I can understand the out of date information because adoption guidelines and such can change very quickly. But the attitude displayed in the 'journal entries' disgusted and angered me. China is trying very hard to be cooperative regarding adopting families, and is one of the 'easiest' countries to adopt from. (Only one short trip required, relatively low fees, abundant children available, babies are usually healthier than other countries, etc.) His total lack of courtesy and respect while visiting is insulting not only to China, but to the rest of us who are waiting to pick up our child. If he wanted 5 star restaurants and hotels, perhaps he should have tried adopting from a more well-to-do country.

A couple of facts he should have kept in mind as he travelled.

1. International adoption is NOT easy. You are dealing with two different countries, which means two different sets of laws.

2. China IS an underdeveloped country. You're not going to have gourmet dinners every night. Roads are going to be bumpy and dirt covered. Not every building has air conditioning.

3. This is NOT a 'pleasure cruise'. Don't expect to be catered to and have people at your beck and call at any given moment.

4. Be respectful of the different culture. They have different customs, different routines, different lives. Just because YOU don't like it or agree with it, doesn't mean you should be insulting and rude. It's THEIR country. You're just visiting.

Bottom line? Stay away from this book. It's not worth the paper it's printed on. I have NEVER thrown a book away before, but I tossed this one in the garbage, just so noone else had to read it.

20 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing self-indulgence, January 23, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Adopting in China: A Practical Guide/An Emotional Journey (Paperback)

As prospective adoptive parents, we were anxious to read a first hand account of the process we are about to embark upon. Sadly, we were confronted by an author (Doug Werner) who darkens the potentially joyous mood at every juncture. In his diary we are subjected to descriptions of how strange their adoptive baby looks, the awful smells that they encounter, and the lack of edible food, aside from the much-disdained McDonalds. Moreover, Mr. Werner appeared annoyed that the people he met were unwilling to adopt an American attitude. Clearly the travel term "Ugly American" fits Mr. Werner very well. There is some practical advice that is worth noting in this book, but none that cannot be found elsewhere. Finally, as a man, I am slightly offended by the notion that Mr. Werner's view is insightful from a masculine point of view. If it is a man's perception of this process, it is a caveman's view. In our view, spend your money on another adoption book and enter this process with excitement and anticipation, just as we are.