Customer Reviews

Adopting in China: A Practical Guide/An Emotional Journey

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(17)

 

 

I am also applying to adopt from China, and have read a number of travel stories from people with the shared experience. This is simply a longer version. I was upset by the author's description of chewing out Asian businessmen in a restaurant because they were smoking. Isn't this an "ugly American" act? He spent more time describing the the gyms in China then describing his new daughter's first responses to him and his wife. He can't wait to get home & put that child in $1,000/month daycare and get his book printed. In talking to my adoption agency, some of the information regarding tax benefits and employee assistence were simply wrong. I found this book disappointing. There are far better stories out there.

My husband and I are in the paperchase process of adopting from China. Like some other reviewers, I thought this book would give me an indication of how the process would play out once we're over there. What I found in this book were the snobby, close-minded and down-right insulting remarks from a couple who didn't really seem like they even liked their new daughter. For example, at one point, the husband wrote that they spent one evening "making fun" of the little girl. I was shocked, but keep reading, much to my regret.

There were instances of a true disregard for the culture he was visiting. While in a restaurant one night, he was disgusted that there were some Chinese businessmen at a nearby table who were smoking. As he and his party were leaving, he made some "crude comments" to the men and "had a good laugh" about it afterwards. No wonder most of the world thinks Americans are rude!

For the most part, he did nothing but complain about the entire experience. The food, the weather, the travel, the baby, EVERYTHING. I would say 97% of the book is comprised of complaints regarding China, and the other 3% is lame comments about 'how beautiful some of the country is'. Hypocrite.

And as a few other reviewers have stated, they came home and immediately placed the baby in all-day daycare. They drop her off at 7 in the morning and don't pick her up until 5. What's the point of having a child at all? I can understand if your financial situation requires two incomes, but this couple didn't strike me as people who really wanted a child in the first place. Her 'biological clock' went off, and because of their ages, they decided to adopt. That's the feeling I get.

I can understand the out of date information because adoption guidelines and such can change very quickly. But the attitude displayed in the 'journal entries' disgusted and angered me. China is trying very hard to be cooperative regarding adopting families, and is one of the 'easiest' countries to adopt from. (Only one short trip required, relatively low fees, abundant children available, babies are usually healthier than other countries, etc.) His total lack of courtesy and respect while visiting is insulting not only to China, but to the rest of us who are waiting to pick up our child. If he wanted 5 star restaurants and hotels, perhaps he should have tried adopting from a more well-to-do country.

A couple of facts he should have kept in mind as he travelled.

1. International adoption is NOT easy. You are dealing with two different countries, which means two different sets of laws.

2. China IS an underdeveloped country. You're not going to have gourmet dinners every night. Roads are going to be bumpy and dirt covered. Not every building has air conditioning.

3. This is NOT a 'pleasure cruise'. Don't expect to be catered to and have people at your beck and call at any given moment.

4. Be respectful of the different culture. They have different customs, different routines, different lives. Just because YOU don't like it or agree with it, doesn't mean you should be insulting and rude. It's THEIR country. You're just visiting.

Bottom line? Stay away from this book. It's not worth the paper it's printed on. I have NEVER thrown a book away before, but I tossed this one in the garbage, just so noone else had to read it.

As prospective adoptive parents, we were anxious to read a first hand account of the process we are about to embark upon. Sadly, we were confronted by an author (Doug Werner) who darkens the potentially joyous mood at every juncture. In his diary we are subjected to descriptions of how strange their adoptive baby looks, the awful smells that they encounter, and the lack of edible food, aside from the much-disdained McDonalds. Moreover, Mr. Werner appeared annoyed that the people he met were unwilling to adopt an American attitude. Clearly the travel term "Ugly American" fits Mr. Werner very well. There is some practical advice that is worth noting in this book, but none that cannot be found elsewhere. Finally, as a man, I am slightly offended by the notion that Mr. Werner's view is insightful from a masculine point of view. If it is a man's perception of this process, it is a caveman's view. In our view, spend your money on another adoption book and enter this process with excitement and anticipation, just as we are.

I should have scrolled all the way down in the reader reviews. If I had, I would have discovered that others reacted the same way I did to this book (which I was really looking forward to). The book is self-centered and negative at every turn: China is hot and smelly, the food is bad, babies pee and poop, flying coach is the pits. There was little evidence of any attempt to understand or appreciate China, although there was clear gratitude toward "the China Team" who facilitated the adoption experience.

If you want to read the story of someone's adoption journey to China and to get a real feel for China and how the adoption situation there comes to be, I would highly recommend Karin Evans' "The Lost Daughters of China."

I learned a great deal about the author's fitness routines and eating habits during his stay in China, but very little about the momentous experience of adopting a Chinese baby. I gained much more valuable insight from speaking to others who had been through the adoption process in China.

This book was the first I read when I began thinking about adopting from China. It didn't take long for the frequent racist remarks and self-centered, parochial comments of Werner to put me off the book; luckily not off the process. The only positive thing I can say about the book is that I was charmed by the pictures of the baby - who unfortunately warranted comment only in the most negative terms (her looks, her basic needs, her interference with Doug's sacred runs). What an obnoxious man. What a bad read.

These writers complained, complained, complained! I actually threw this book in the garbage. I was offended by the authors' descriptions of the Chinese food, etc. Definitely ugly Americans.

I wish I had read the online reviews before I tackled this book. I found the authors' description of their story to be especially dismaying. They didn't seem to respect their daughter- even made up a very disparaging song about her (and bodily functions) while they were in China. Very disappointing to see two college educated individuals be so close-minded and complaining about China. The husband's chapters become especially cumbersome- whenever I got to his sections all I could think of was, "What will he be complaining about now?" This book can be such a downer that it might sap the excitement out of you. I wonder how they are doing now. They did not seem cut out for parenthood at all.

If you are considering adoption, there are many other really good books. Search under, "Adoption, China" on Amazon and check out some of the others.

This book is a disappointment as an adoption chronicle and a waste of money as a guide. It appears that the authors have very little appreciation for the beauty of China. Instead, ethnocentric, xenophobic comments predominate. This book was discussed on a listserve for adoptive parents, and many contributors were offended by the comments made by the second author.

The "practical" information in this book is vague and unhelpful. This book gets one star only because one star is the lowest rating available. I give it a zero.

I purchased this book from another site, thus not reading any reviews from it. I wish I'd have come here first! This book was a total waste of money in my opinion. I thought it was going to be more informative in regards to the goings on in China as far as the actual adoption process. Instead, the writers spend most of the time complaining about the food, weather, transportation and even their newly adopted daughter. While I understand the need for truth in the adoption world, I found that this book concentrated more on the troubles of the process than the joy. There were a couple of mentions of good times, but not enough to make this an uplifting read. It was not informative at all in my opinion. Stay away from this book and research on the internet instead.