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Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special-Needs KidsA Guide for Parents and Professionals (Hollywood Nobody) [Kindle Edition]

Gregory C Keck , Regina Kupecky
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $17.99
Kindle Price: $9.99
You Save: $8.00 (44%)

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Book Description

Without avoiding the grim statistics, this book reveals the real hope that hurting children can be healed through adoptive and foster parents, social workers, and others who care. Includes information on foreign adoptions.


Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

To Love a Child is the heartwarming story of one man's commitment to a child that had been declared not adoptable. Then three years old, the child was born addicted to drugs, his mother had been murdered, and he had been dubbed all but a throwaway. Here, writer Schwarz chronicles the events of one remarkable year?from the day before he met his son to the day the courts legalized the adoption. During that time, the Schwarzes took in another child. Exhibiting a broad range of experience, Keck, founder of a treatment center for children with developmental problems, and Kupecky, Ohio's 1990 Adoption Worker of the Year, together examine many issues affecting today's adoptive families. They address various phases of the adoption process: early issues in the adoptive family; age-specific problems, as well as solutions; and clarification on issues of parenting or working with the abused or damaged child. Throughout, numerous case histories are cited. Both books include superior resources, readings, and index arrangements, and both are recommended for all libraries.?Marty D. Evensvold, Magnolia P.L., Tex.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From the Back Cover

THE NEW FACE OF ADOPTION. Fewer and fewer families adopting today are able to bring home a healthy newborn infant. The majority of adoptions now involve emotionally wounded, older children who have suffered the effects of abuse or neglect in their birth families and carry complex baggage with them into their adoptive families. Adopting the Hurt Child addresses the frustrations, heartache, and hope surrounding the adoptions of these special-needs kids. Children who have endured emotional and physical atrocities, failed reunifications, and myriad losses associated with multiple moves in the foster care system not only present unique challenges to their adoptive families but also impact greater society in significant ways. Integrating social, psychological, and sociopolitical issues, Adopting the Hurt Child explains how trauma and interruptions affect these children’s normal development and often severely undermine their capacity to function in a loving family and in society. Written in a non-technical style accessible to a diverse audience, Adopting the Hurt Child brings to light grim truths, but also real hope that children who have been hurt can be healed and brought back into life by the adoptive and foster parents, therapists, teachers, social workers, and others whose lives interact with theirs.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1906 KB
  • Print Length: 264 pages
  • Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.; Rev Upd edition (June 15, 2009)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B002P68B44
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #262,113 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
96 of 97 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Read This Before Adopting Older Children! January 5, 2000
Format:Hardcover
As an adoption educator, adoptive parent of three (3) special needs children, as well as a birth mother in reunion, I recommend ADOPTING THE HURT CHILD to all prospective adoptive parents. Society tends to sugar-coat adoption, believing that adoptive parents are saints and the adopted child should be grateful to have a family. Unfortunately, particularly when adopting older children, adoptive families are not well-equipped nor adequately prepared to appropriately deal with all of the emotional, behavioral and/or psychological issues these children hold within themselves. When the child begins to act out aggressively, rebelliously or sexually, we/society, tend to criticize the child for not being appreciative of the new life he's been given, or dismiss the behavior, reverting to the old "bad blood" concept from times long past. Often, these special needs children seem to be typical to outsiders, acting out only in the home environment. ADOPTING THE HURT CHILD gives readers insight into how these children became hurt and offers sound advice on not only dealing appropriately with the child's behavior, but on seeking professional help, how to set parameters, exercise patience, creating a safe and nurturing environment and more. As an adoption educator, I utilize this book as a basis when teaching workshops on adopting special needs children and it continues to bring better understanding, as well as empathy and compassion to both the adoption professionals and prospective adoptive parents whom I train. I also give this book as a gift to all of my children's physicians and therapists so they, too, can better treat my children. This is a book written in the true sense of "the best interest of the child." I encourage you to read this book and share it with everyone in your support circle of friends, family and health professionals. Education is the best tool we have to promote understanding.
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66 of 68 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Landmark Book on Attachment & Adoption November 26, 2002
By A Customer
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
Two years ago, we assumed guardianship of my husband's troubled 12-year old niece. She was my husband's sister's child and came from a "House of Horrors." Every conceivable problem existed. Drug abuse, domestic violence, sick pornography, sibling incest, severe parental neglect, sarcasm, ridicule, brutality and denial. She came from the inner city, to our sheltered, happy home in the suburbs. It was akin to someone moving to a foreign country. Fortunately, I read "Adopting the Hurt Child." The book was a lifesaver. I do not exaggerate. Social workers and incompetent therapists seemed to blame us for her problems, (and we hadn't had her for even a year). The authors said this is common. Adoptive parents take the heat for the original family's neglect. The authors nailed every single issue, or problem, with razor sharp accuracy. Our niece is an actress with attachment issues. She wears masks. She plots, she cannot "be." She was never taught real love or how to be with people. Her presence in our household really shook us to the core. She acted coquettish and manipulative with my husband; snide to me (the mom). I do not see the book as negative, but as candid. Love isn't always enough. Movies may have happy endings, but real life is altogether different. Sometimes, these children do not get better. At least, empowered with the advice of this book, you can seek better therapy treatments, know what kind of therapist to hire, and sniff out the bad ones immediately. Now, two years later, we found an attachment therapist. This terrific therapist cannot be manipulated. She is both tough and compassionate. We made more progress with her -- in three sessions, than our niece did with a sex abuse counselor in a year. Our niece still has many problems, and time will tell. We are hanging in there. And I still reference this book. It's just superb. God bless both the authors.
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44 of 46 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Hardcover
This book is a must read for anyone involved in a difficult relationship due to childhood issues or anyone thinking about adopting a child. I purchased it because my husband and I are thinking about adopting a Special Needs child. This definitely helps you to think long and hard about your possible parenting capabilities with a child with Special Needs. I definitely related to the Dreams and Realities Chapter, which has caused me to really evaluate what I am hoping to accomplish in my life with this adoption. Additionally, the chapters on identifying specific behaviors was a real eye opener for me. Although my ex-husband did not come from an adoptive family, I believe he had a lot of the characteristics of a child with Attachment Difficulties. I may have been able to help him, if I had thought of his problems at this level rather than dealing with our problems through marital counseling (how sad to discover this too late.)This is just simply an honest, informative book helping to educate people before taking such a major step in life. Also, this book provides possible answers to the difficult situations we may face in the future. I completely admire the total dedication to a child's needs that this book focuses on.
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34 of 35 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It tells it the way it is! October 27, 2002
Format:Hardcover
This is an excellent book and a must for anyone considering fostering or adopting a child older than the age of one. Before getting our first set of foster children (sibling group of 4) I could not make it half way through the book, because it upset me so much. I just could not believe that it was really like they said it was. IT IS EXACTLY LIKE THEY SAID IT WAS! After having the chilren a couple of months I read the book through being able to relate to everything they said. It is all extremely sad, but true. And if anyone wants to help these children , they must be aware of their needs so they can meet them. Love is just not enough. I had a friend, who has adopted 8 children, tell me that before our endeavor, and I did not believe her. Now I know she is right and now I listen to every word of advice she can give me. This book will open your eyes to the sad, hard truth. Read it and weep, but it WILL prepare you to understand and help these children. I wish everyone the very best and when you get discouraged, ask yourself if that child would have been better off if they had never come into your home. I am sure your answer will be "NO." And when you are done with the book, give it to your social worker to read. Of course they could never completely understand until they have fostered or adopted themselves, but it is a start.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Should be required for all adoptive parents
This book was excellent. It gives an honest, no-nonsense look at the reality of adopting a child with a history of abuse or neglect. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Trixie
5.0 out of 5 stars Love this book!
This book changed the way I was parenting my daughter, who I adopted as a baby. Using this and several other books, She became much more secure in her attachment.
Published 7 months ago by L. BRACKEEN
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Book!
This was an excellent book that opened my eyes to a whole new world I was entering. I learned so much and gained knowledge necessary to support my son through this process.
Published 7 months ago by Jessica L. Haynes
5.0 out of 5 stars It works.
Emily was fifteen when she left Russia and joined three of her biological siblings in our family. She was the stereotypical horror story of a traumatized child with Reactive... Read more
Published 9 months ago by JohnMSimmons
5.0 out of 5 stars A foster family must have!
As a first time foster mom I was so excited to get placed with a 3 year old child to love. I was then shocked by his behaviors. Read more
Published 12 months ago by momtoone
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent eye-opener.
Adoptive parents who think their adopted children should be grateful can read this and find out why they aren't. Read more
Published 13 months ago by D. Boggio
5.0 out of 5 stars Really Helps You Prepare to Adopt
Explained what to look for, what it is, and how to deal with the situations you very well count encounter when adopting children especially internationally or domestically from... Read more
Published 15 months ago by Ann Marie Hill
1.0 out of 5 stars Sadistic Fringe Methods
The authors of this edition (2009) continue to promote "Holding Therapy" (aka Attachment Therapy). While they claim to do "nurturing" holdings with the child's consent and that... Read more
Published on January 8, 2012 by Reviewer
5.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable
If you are an adoptive or foster parent as I am , this book will be invaluable to you. If you are considering foster/adoption, I would definitely get this book ASAP. Read more
Published on March 14, 2011 by Julie Anne Rosario
5.0 out of 5 stars Must Read!
This book is a MUST read. Make it the first book you read as you start down the path of adopting from FC. I highly recommend it. Read more
Published on March 9, 2011 by Beth305
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