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Adoption Healing... A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption
 
 
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Adoption Healing... A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption [Paperback]

Joe Soll (Author), Karen Wilson Buterbaugh (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)

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Book Description

November 21, 2003
Adoption Healing... a path to recovery for mothers who lost children to adoption is a unique book. The reader is provided with a description of the immaculate deception imposed on pregnant women and the ensuing tragedy of the loss of their babies to adoption and the profound effects on their lives. This is followed by different methods of healing the motherÂ’s wounds, including inner child work, visualizations, healing affirmations, and anger management. Every chapter includes a Myths and Realities of adoption section, a summary of the chapter and exercises to do on oneÂ’s own.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Adoption Healing is a testament to the terrible and long-lasting injustice that was done to so many women in our recent past, when 'authorities' snatched their babies and told these mothers that they would forget. Buterbaugh and Soll have crafted a deeply caring book that reaches out to mothers who will never forget." - Rickie Solinger, author of Wake Up Little Susie: Single Pregnancy and Race before Roe v. Wade, and Beggars and Choosers: How the Politics of Choice Shapes Adoption, Abortion, and Welfare in the U.S --Rickie Solinger

"Adoption Healing needs to carry a warning: 'Beware! Read at your own risk. Long-buried feelings are bound to surface. Not advisable to read without support.' Adoption healing is not for the fainthearted. Some will say it's radical, and it is. But it is the very radicalness that leads you to your own truth -- to the place of healing." - Carol Schaefer, author of The Other Mother and Mary Queen of Scots; playwright of The Sacred Virgin --Carol Schaefer

As an adoption reform activist, I found Adoption Healing to be the most straightforward and honest book I have ever read. The authors presentation of the material explains the myths and facts of the exiled mother s experience in a most clear and concise manner. Adoption Healing is one of those very special books that is difficult to put down! - Sandy Musser, Adoption Activist and Author of I Would Have Searched Forever & To Prison With Love --Sandra K Musser

About the Author

Joe Soll, the author of the original "Adoption Healing... A Path to Recovery" for adoptees, and co-author of Evil Exchange, is a diplomate psychotherapist and lecturer internationally recognized as an expert in adoption related issues and a former adjunct professor of social work at Fordham University Graduate School. He is director and co-founder of Adoption Crossroads in New York City, a non-profit organization that helps reunite and gives support to adoptees, original parents and those who have adopted. Adoption Crossroads is affiliated with more than 450 mental health institutions and adoption search and support groups in eight countries, representing more than 500,000 individuals whose lives have been affected by adoption. Adoption Crossroads is also dedicated to educating the public about adoption issues, preserving families and reforming current adoption practices.

The director and founder of the Adoption Counseling Center in New York City, Mr. Soll is also co-organizer and co-chair of the New York State Adoption Agency Task Force; a member of Matilda Cuomo's 1993 Advisory Council on the "Adoption Option"; conference chair and board member of the American Adoption Congress and, a trustee of the International Soundex Reunion Registry. He's a fellow of the American Orthopsychiatric Association, the American Association of Grief Counselors, and a member of the Council on Social Work Education, the National Association of Social Workers and the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences.

Mr. Soll has appeared on radio and television more than 300 times, given more than 130 lectures on adoption related issues and has been featured or quoted in more than three dozen newspapers, books and magazines. In 1994 he was portrayed as a therapist in the NBC made-for-TV movie about adoption, The Other Mother. He recently played himself in the HBO original movie Reno Finds Her Mom. He was featured in the 2001 Telly Award winning Global Japan documentary, "Adoption Therapist: Joe Soll"

His own story as an adoptee has been presented more than thirty times on Unsolved Mysteries. He has walked the 250 miles from New York City to Washington, D.C. six times to create public awareness of the need for adoption reform. He resides in Congers, NY and maintains an office in New York City.

-- Karen Wilson Buterbaugh is one of seven exiled mothers whose personal experience of surrender during the "baby scoop era" of the 1960s was audio taped for Everlasting," a multimedia sound and video installation by artist Ann Fessler. The stories collected for this exhibition, which showcased the voices of mothers of loss from the1950s and 1960's, will become part of the women's oral history collection at Harvard University's Schlesinger Library.

In 1966, Karen was first interred in two "wage homes" with strangers, ironically without wages, before being deposited as an "inmate" at the Florence Crittenton maternity facility in Washington D.C. She completed her senior year at the facility before giving birth to her daughter, Michelle Renee, at George Washington Hospital, Washington, D.C., in July 1966. Both were returned to the maternity facility and then separated on August 1, 1966, after she and her baby had spent ten days together in the facilityÂ’s post-partum wing.

Thirty years later, she hired an investigative agency to locate her daughter, now named Maria. Their in person reunion took place in February 1998.

Karen has been writing about adoption since 1997 and is the author of two articles, "Setting the Record Straight," published by Moxie Magazine (April 2001), and "Not By Choice," published by Eclectica Magazine (January 2002).*

Karen is married and lives in Virginia. She has three grown daughters. Her oldest, Michelle Renee, was the baby she lost to adoption.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 218 pages
  • Publisher: Gateway Press, Inc. (November 21, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0967839017
  • ISBN-13: 978-0967839011
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #188,375 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Joe Soll, the author of "Adoption Healing... a path to recovery", co-author of "Evil Exchange" and "Fatal Flight", is a psychotherapist and lecturer internationally recognized as an expert in adoption related issues. He is director and co-founder of Adoption Crossroads, an international, non-profit organization consisting of over 470 adoption agencies, mental health institutions and adoption search and support groups in 8 countries, representing over 500,000 individuals whose lives have been affected by adoption. Adoption Crossroads is dedicated to educating the public about adoption issues and reforming current adoption practices.

The director and founder of the Adoption Counseling Center in New York City, Mr. Soll is also co-organizer and co-chair of the NY State Adoption Agency Task Force; a member of Matilda Cuomo's 1993 Advisory Council on the "Adoption Option"; past exec. board member of the Amer. Adoption Congress and a trustee of the International Soundex Reunion Registry

Since 1989, Mr. Soll has organized and coordinated nine international mental health conferences on adoption attended by mental health professionals. He has been an expert witness in court about adoption related issues and has lectured widely at adoption agencies, social work schools, mental health facilities and mental health conferences in the U.S. and Canada.

Mr. Soll has appeared on Radio and Television over 250 times, given over 150 lectures on adoption related issues and has been acknowledged, quoted or featured in over four dozen newspapers, books and magazines.
He was portrayed as a therapist in the NBC Made-For-TV movie "The Other Mother", and recently played himself in the HBO Special "Reno Finds Her Mom". and was featured in the 2000 Global Japan award wining documentary, "Adoption Therapist: Joe Soll"

 

Customer Reviews

36 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.7 out of 5 stars (36 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars The doors unlocked & the memories came flooding out, October 28, 2003
By 
cynthia kerr (Nashville, Tennessee) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Adoption Healing... A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption (Paperback)
I'm a birthmother from the 60s who reunited with my daughter 6 years ago. ... The psychological information by Joe Soll was priceless. I related to everything Karen Buterbaugh contributed. My daughter compared it to reading "The Primal Wound," for adoptees. I especially liked the contributions from the other authors. This book is so brutally honest, but seeing what other birthmothers went through has made me see that I didn't imagine things. When it's been a secret for 31 years, your mind plays tricks on you. This book has validated "who I am." It's about time that somebody wrote a book that doesn't gloss over what the adoption market is all about. I would recommend every birthmother to read this book, and then give it to her husband and other family members. Unless you have been a birthmother who lost your baby by no choice of your own, you'll never understand the trauma and the patterns of disfunction that follow the mother until she gets emotionally healed. I am happy to say that, after 6 years, my daughter and I have a very close & loving relationship. Healing came with a lot of hard work and much forgiveness, and the persistant desire to understand each other. It has been well worth it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars to the sad teenager that never got heard, October 27, 2003
By 
Linda A. Webber (Fairfield, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Adoption Healing... A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption (Paperback)
WOW! WOW! WOW!This remarkable and explicate healing book spoke to the teenager that never got heard when she was being coerced into losing her baby girl.What an opportunity to finally be validated for what was done to her by others that would not support the scared young woman that needed her family and or just a friend. The scars are deep for the abuse done and this book is brave enough to show the way to healing, Many in the adoption industry must be trying to do damage control since this remarkable and explicate healing book spoke to the teenager that never got heard when she was being coerced into losing her baby girl. This book gives us Moms permission to come out and be free to become the strong women we were always meant to be and to give back the shame that was thrown at us to those that it belongs to. May we never forget so that others will never be in need of healing from adoption trauma. To my sisters I say get this book because you deserve to be set free from what was done to you.We will go in truth and love,Linda Webber
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Healing Words, October 28, 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Adoption Healing... A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption (Paperback)
"Adoption Healing...A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption" is one of those rare books that not only addresses the history and pain of a forgotten group of women, but also offers practical suggestions for healing. The book is geared primarily to women who lost their babies to adoption during the "baby scoop" era. These women comprise a distinct cohort who lived through a unique historical era. The rise of social work as a fledgling profession ambitious for its own advancement coincided with the rigid legal, moral, psychological and societal milieu of post WWII America. The enormous pressures exerted by this confluence of factors resulted in a distinct type of personal disaster for unmarried mothers that is unprecedented in modern times.

These women are eye-witnesses to the brutality of domestic adoption practice during the "baby scoop" era, and as such, their histories, reactions, and personal outcomes are a most valuable addition to any social history of the times.
"Adoption Healing" is destined to become a must-read for any serious student of women's history. The descriptions of maternity reformatories, wage homes, and punitive labor practices chill the soul. The techniques of social isolation and repetitive attacks on the self-esteem of unmarried mothers that were the mainstays of "rehabilitation for the marriage market" are enumerated in plain English. The withholding of critical information regarding legal rights as well as social work's failure to extend to these women the basic constitutional protections afforded all US citizens law, are also made crystal clear by the authors. The descriptions are accompanied by quotes from social work texts of the time that show in painful detail the philosophical underpinnings of institutionalized abuse.

This book offers the reader the 'boiled essence'; an authentic sense of what it was like to have been there. It clearly separates the popularly held myths about these women and their experiences from the everyday realities. But it doesn't stop there. The authors also offer suggestions for guided imagery to help those of us who have lived for decades with the sequelae of traumatic adoptions. Having one's child brutally stripped away and placed forever into the black hole of closed adoption is not an event one easily survives without lifelong damage. In addition, the egregious practices of the times have never been openly acknowledged by the industry that perpetrated them. The adoption industry continues its decades old strategy of stonewalling about its misogynistic past. In fact, there are actually "baby scoop skinheads" whose goal in life seems to be to deny that these things ever happened. These historical revisionists may not have yet been born, but they wait in line to defend, deny, and re-interpret the institutionalized exploitation and abuse of women that domestic adoption represented. As a result, these practices are not generally understood to have been the personal catastrophe they proved to be for generations of women. They have not been addressed in therapeutic circles and schools. They have not been well researched. In fact, veterans of child loss to adoption have the psychological equivalent of an orphan disease; no one wants to acknowledge, much less address, the issues. This all means that it is difficult to find acknowledgement, much less informed treatment, for the lingering effects of traumatic adoption. This book provides some practical and helpful exercises to help those of us who struggle with the daily pain to begin to come to terms with what was probably the worst experience of our lives- arguably one of the worst experiences human existence offers.

The authors are to be commended for their courage, their clear- eyed assessment of the problems, their compassion for others, and their dedication to the task of bringing truth and healing to those of us whose lives have been ravaged by adoption.

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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
For reasons discussed at length in Adoption Healing, mothers face special problems in negotiating each of the developmental stages of their lives from surrender forward. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Inner Child, Experience of the Moment, Adoption Crossroads, Adoption Hand-off, Mother Goose, World War, John Bradshaw, North Carolina, Wake Up Little Susie
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