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The director and founder of the Adoption Counseling Center in New York City, Mr. Soll is also co-organizer and co-chair of the New York State Adoption Agency Task Force; a member of Matilda Cuomo's 1993 Advisory Council on the "Adoption Option"; conference chair and board member of the American Adoption Congress and, a trustee of the International Soundex Reunion Registry. He's a fellow of the American Orthopsychiatric Association, the American Association of Grief Counselors, and a member of the Council on Social Work Education, the National Association of Social Workers and the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences.
Mr. Soll has appeared on radio and television more than 300 times, given more than 130 lectures on adoption related issues and has been featured or quoted in more than three dozen newspapers, books and magazines. In 1994 he was portrayed as a therapist in the NBC made-for-TV movie about adoption, The Other Mother. He recently played himself in the HBO original movie Reno Finds Her Mom. He was featured in the 2001 Telly Award winning Global Japan documentary, "Adoption Therapist: Joe Soll"
His own story as an adoptee has been presented more than thirty times on Unsolved Mysteries. He has walked the 250 miles from New York City to Washington, D.C. six times to create public awareness of the need for adoption reform. He resides in Congers, NY and maintains an office in New York City.
-- Karen Wilson Buterbaugh is one of seven exiled mothers whose personal experience of surrender during the "baby scoop era" of the 1960s was audio taped for Everlasting," a multimedia sound and video installation by artist Ann Fessler. The stories collected for this exhibition, which showcased the voices of mothers of loss from the1950s and 1960's, will become part of the women's oral history collection at Harvard University's Schlesinger Library.
In 1966, Karen was first interred in two "wage homes" with strangers, ironically without wages, before being deposited as an "inmate" at the Florence Crittenton maternity facility in Washington D.C. She completed her senior year at the facility before giving birth to her daughter, Michelle Renee, at George Washington Hospital, Washington, D.C., in July 1966. Both were returned to the maternity facility and then separated on August 1, 1966, after she and her baby had spent ten days together in the facilityÂs post-partum wing.
Thirty years later, she hired an investigative agency to locate her daughter, now named Maria. Their in person reunion took place in February 1998.
Karen has been writing about adoption since 1997 and is the author of two articles, "Setting the Record Straight," published by Moxie Magazine (April 2001), and "Not By Choice," published by Eclectica Magazine (January 2002).*
Karen is married and lives in Virginia. She has three grown daughters. Her oldest, Michelle Renee, was the baby she lost to adoption.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The doors unlocked & the memories came flooding out,
By cynthia kerr (Nashville, Tennessee) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Adoption Healing... A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption (Paperback)
I'm a birthmother from the 60s who reunited with my daughter 6 years ago. ... The psychological information by Joe Soll was priceless. I related to everything Karen Buterbaugh contributed. My daughter compared it to reading "The Primal Wound," for adoptees. I especially liked the contributions from the other authors. This book is so brutally honest, but seeing what other birthmothers went through has made me see that I didn't imagine things. When it's been a secret for 31 years, your mind plays tricks on you. This book has validated "who I am." It's about time that somebody wrote a book that doesn't gloss over what the adoption market is all about. I would recommend every birthmother to read this book, and then give it to her husband and other family members. Unless you have been a birthmother who lost your baby by no choice of your own, you'll never understand the trauma and the patterns of disfunction that follow the mother until she gets emotionally healed. I am happy to say that, after 6 years, my daughter and I have a very close & loving relationship. Healing came with a lot of hard work and much forgiveness, and the persistant desire to understand each other. It has been well worth it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
to the sad teenager that never got heard,
By
This review is from: Adoption Healing... A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption (Paperback)
WOW! WOW! WOW!This remarkable and explicate healing book spoke to the teenager that never got heard when she was being coerced into losing her baby girl.What an opportunity to finally be validated for what was done to her by others that would not support the scared young woman that needed her family and or just a friend. The scars are deep for the abuse done and this book is brave enough to show the way to healing, Many in the adoption industry must be trying to do damage control since this remarkable and explicate healing book spoke to the teenager that never got heard when she was being coerced into losing her baby girl. This book gives us Moms permission to come out and be free to become the strong women we were always meant to be and to give back the shame that was thrown at us to those that it belongs to. May we never forget so that others will never be in need of healing from adoption trauma. To my sisters I say get this book because you deserve to be set free from what was done to you.We will go in truth and love,Linda Webber
18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Healing Words,
By A Customer
This review is from: Adoption Healing... A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption (Paperback)
"Adoption Healing...A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption" is one of those rare books that not only addresses the history and pain of a forgotten group of women, but also offers practical suggestions for healing. The book is geared primarily to women who lost their babies to adoption during the "baby scoop" era. These women comprise a distinct cohort who lived through a unique historical era. The rise of social work as a fledgling profession ambitious for its own advancement coincided with the rigid legal, moral, psychological and societal milieu of post WWII America. The enormous pressures exerted by this confluence of factors resulted in a distinct type of personal disaster for unmarried mothers that is unprecedented in modern times. These women are eye-witnesses to the brutality of domestic adoption practice during the "baby scoop" era, and as such, their histories, reactions, and personal outcomes are a most valuable addition to any social history of the times. This book offers the reader the 'boiled essence'; an authentic sense of what it was like to have been there. It clearly separates the popularly held myths about these women and their experiences from the everyday realities. But it doesn't stop there. The authors also offer suggestions for guided imagery to help those of us who have lived for decades with the sequelae of traumatic adoptions. Having one's child brutally stripped away and placed forever into the black hole of closed adoption is not an event one easily survives without lifelong damage. In addition, the egregious practices of the times have never been openly acknowledged by the industry that perpetrated them. The adoption industry continues its decades old strategy of stonewalling about its misogynistic past. In fact, there are actually "baby scoop skinheads" whose goal in life seems to be to deny that these things ever happened. These historical revisionists may not have yet been born, but they wait in line to defend, deny, and re-interpret the institutionalized exploitation and abuse of women that domestic adoption represented. As a result, these practices are not generally understood to have been the personal catastrophe they proved to be for generations of women. They have not been addressed in therapeutic circles and schools. They have not been well researched. In fact, veterans of child loss to adoption have the psychological equivalent of an orphan disease; no one wants to acknowledge, much less address, the issues. This all means that it is difficult to find acknowledgement, much less informed treatment, for the lingering effects of traumatic adoption. This book provides some practical and helpful exercises to help those of us who struggle with the daily pain to begin to come to terms with what was probably the worst experience of our lives- arguably one of the worst experiences human existence offers. The authors are to be commended for their courage, their clear- eyed assessment of the problems, their compassion for others, and their dedication to the task of bringing truth and healing to those of us whose lives have been ravaged by adoption.
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