Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief [Paperback]

Evelyn Burns Robinson (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 1740530004 | ISBN-13: 978-1740530002 | Publication Date: March 1, 2000

This book poignantly and thoroughly describes the losses experienced by all of those whose lives have been affected by adoption and the grief that they suffer. The book is based on the author's personal experience as a mother who lost a child through adoption and her experience as a social worker who is employed in the area of post-adoption counselling. The book graphically describes the disenfranchised grief associated with adoption and suggests ways in which that hidden grief can be acknowledged and confronted. The author explains how both her personal and her professional experiences have led her to the conclusion that alternative care for children in need must no longer include adoption.

Editorial Reviews

Review

I have read this book and found it excellent. In my opinion it is the best Australian book ever on adoption issues. -- Barb Maison, Origins Newsletter, Victoria, April, 2000.

I highly recommend this book as a wonderful addition to adoption literature. -- Nancy Verrier, author

The book is far more than a sensitive account of one person’s experiences: it challenges our thinking about the practices of adoption. -- Lea Stevens, MP, Member of South Australian State Parliament, April, 2000.

To lay yourself and your family out bare like that takes courage. I'm very proud of her and honoured to be called her son. -- Stephen Ferguson, natural son of Evelyn Robinson, message to Book Launch, April, 2000.

From the Publisher

Evelyn Robinson is a mother who lost her first child through adoption. When Evelyn wrote "Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief", she was very committed to reaching as many people as possible with her work and wanted to have full control over the content, presentation and marketing of her book. For this reason she formed Clova Publications and published the book herself.

Clova is the name of an estate in Aberdeenshire in Scotland which once belonged to Evelyn's great-great-great-grandfather, Sir Harry Niven Lumsden, Baronet of Clova and Auchindoir, who was buried there in 1821. Because Evelyn is descended from the illegitimate side of the family, however, she will never be in line to inherit Clova and so she has created her own inheritance in Clova Publications. Evelyn visited Clova for the first time in 1998.

Evelyn is committed to publishing books about adoption as she has a personal commitment to supporting those whose lives have been affected by adoption and to increasing public awareness of adoption issues. As Clova Publications grows, more books on adoption-related topics will be added to their list of available titles.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 250 pages
• Publisher: Jacobyte Books (March 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1740530004
• ISBN-13: 978-1740530002
• Product Dimensions: 7.4 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,418,381 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I was born and raised in Scotland and gave birth to my first child, Stephen, in 1970. Stephen was adopted soon after birth and I did not meet him again until he was 21 years old. By that time I had four more children and we were living in South Australia. I became involved with post-adoption support in 1989 and have worked as a volunteer in that area since then. I was employed as a high school teacher and then, in 1996 I completed a degree in social work. I then worked for some years as a post-adoption counsellor. I became aware of the lack of understanding and awareness of adoption separation issues among professionals and so I wrote my first book, "Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief" and self-published it in 2000. I travelled around Australia, to New Zealand, the UK, Ireland,Canada and the US in 2001 to promote awareness of my work and realised from all the interactions I had with members of the adoption community and professionals, that there was a great need for a book to help people to heal from the trauma of adoption separation. I wrote and published my second book, "Adoption and Recovery - Solving the mystery of reunion" in 2003. I travelled again in 2005 and met many more people whose lives had been affected by adoption separation. I was keynote speaker at a conference in Romania in 2006 on "The Rights of the Child" and have presented several other conference papers on adoption-related topics. I hear from people frequently through my web site (www.clovapublications.com) and many of them ask for advice on reunion issues. I have not travelled since 2005, but I still present information and training sessions about adoption and I have never charged a fee for speaking. In 2009 I published my third book, "Adoption Reunion - Ecstasy or Agony?", which contains a selection from the many questions I have been asked about reunion over the last twenty years. In 2009 I was also appointed to the National Inter Country Adoption Advisory Group, which meets regularly to advise the Australian Attorney-General. I am now working on my fourth book, which is a collection of the experiences of parents who have lost children through adoption. The reason I write my books and provide my presentations it to assist those who have experienced adoption separation and to educate professionals and members of the community around adoption separation issues.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars True Insight into the Adoption Process, March 16, 2003

By 

Dave Perren (Adelaide South Australia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief (Paperback)

Evelyn's book provides a rare insight into the mind of a mother who has given her child to adoption. It details the tremendous pain suffered because of this action and the life long grief it leaves. The book records the life of the author from the time of her birth till the present, and it is an honest and candid exposé of her thoughts and feelings about the conception, gestation, birth, and finally the reunion with her son Adam (later renamed Steven by the adoptive parents). Evelyn's story is one that has, in many ways, mirrored the experiences of many other women who have lost their children to adoption. It is a story that needs to be told and one that needs to be heard.

Evelyn raise the question of `acquiescence' for the natural mother and then dispels it by revealing the truth about the coercion involved in gaining consent for adoption. Evelyn also acknowledges the pain and hidden grief suffered by adopted people and lifts the veil of secrecy that surrounds adoption. She examines adoption's dark underbelly and the [idea] of silence that often works to maintain the spiritual, intellectual and physical separation between natural mother's and their children.

This book is highly recommended and a `must read' both for professionals working in the area of adoption and all of those many millions of people, worldwide, who have been touched by adoption. This book will be especially valuable to adoptive parents because it provides an account of the (often unacknowledged) experiences of birthmothers and their children. Many of these individuals have in the past, and will continue in the future, to be consumed by adoptions unresolved grief.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book., January 1, 2006

By 

D. Ackles - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Adoption and Loss: The Hidden Grief (Revised Edition) (Paperback)

As a mother who relinquished her son to adoption in 1973, I found this book extremely helpful and interesting. All of the emotions and questions I have lived with for the past 32 years were addressed in a manner which gave my feelings validity and reassurance. It is remarkable how similar my experience is to that of Ms. Robinson. From pregnancy to reunion I feel like I have lived a parallel life on the other side of "the pond", or the world as it turns out. I particularly enjoyed her "Part Three, What does it all mean?". I can certainly ruminate about my life quite well on my own, without the book, but this third part offered me empowerment to say, "Hey, I'm not the bad guy here, what was society thinking?" It's not a transfer of blame, but it is a challange to take another look at established adoption and ask some pretty important questions. I certainly would recommend this book to any natural mother separated from her child at birth, no matter where they are in their grieving process, as well as adoptees, as a means of trying to understand why they came to be adoptees. Adoptive parents should also read this in an effort to offer "our" children support for their whole person, and to become aware that the adoption story is not as simple as they might believe.

Thank you Evelyn Burns Robinson, your book is great!!

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book, December 20, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief (Paperback)

Excellent book. I am an adoptee, and this helped me understand as best as I can the experience from a birthmother's perspective. Highly recommended reading.