Customer Reviews

The Adoption Mystique

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Because I am an adoptee who searched and found my biological family, I read Joanne Small's book "The Adoption Mystique" with great interest. Ms. Small has done a masterful job of debunking the propaganda the adoption industry spews out. We do not need or want the "protection" forced upon us by industry. In a country like ours that places such a high value on personal freedom, it is a shame that there is a necessity for writing such a book as this! This is a "must read" book for adoptees, birth and adoptive parents alike.

This little book of essays takes on big sacred cows both of the adoption industry and the adoption reform movement, and makes hamburger of them! Ms. Small, an adoptee, social worker, and long-time activist for adoptee rights, makes the case that the adoption system as it now exists, a culture of secrets and lies, is itself dysfunctional. She also questions the medical model of adoption (everyone is wounded and in need of therapy) and the pathologizing of adopted persons in such theories as "Adopted Child Syndrome"and the public fascination with adopted killers and other criminals. All of her essays are liberally footnoted, providing both documentation of her research and a whole world of adoption reading that readers may want to follow up on. This kind of careful scholarship is refreshing in a field full of unproven theories, unsupported claims and over-generalized statements.

Ms. Small was the only adoptee on the Model Adoption Legislation and Procedures Committee in 1978. Out of this committee came the Model State Adoption Act, which recommended open records for adopted adults. The National Council for Adoption was formed to combat this progressive act, and we have been battling them ever since. In her many years as an activist, Ms. Small has learned many lessons about politics and adoption reform which she shares in "The Adoption Mystique".

The most valuable and timely part of this book is the section on compromise and legislation, and what happened in Maryland in 1997 when a bill was introduced that featured contact vetoes and an elaborate and expensive mandatory intermediary system. Some adoption reformers supported this bill, with the rationale that without compromise nothing could pass, most adoptees could have reunions, and that this was a "baby step" to full adoptee rights. Ms. Small neatly and logically demolishes this flawed argument in her essay.

She makes a clear distinction between unconditional adoptee rights legislation, and search and reunion legislation, and why the latter is always in danger of compromise. Her analysis of the Maryland legislation is clear and well-reasoned and can serve as a guideline for other state groups on what not to do legislatively, and why a real civil rights bill can not have restrictions, vetoes, or conditions to the exercise of those rights. I hope everyone working on legislation in their own state makes this book their bible on what kind of legislation to introduce, support, and hold out for.

This is a well-written, well thought-out book that should be in the library of every adoption activist. Some may not agree with all of the conclusions or ideas, but all certainly can learn and question and begin their own dialogue on legislative activism, and how the mystique of adoption has become so ingrained in popular culture that it is hard to break through with reality and truth. I highly recommend The Adoption Mystique.

How refreshing to find a book that tackles the societal mores revolving around adoption with such clear and concise explanations of the evolving institution. If you know nothing at all about adoption and the way that society views this institution then this is the book for you. If you think that you know all about adoption, read this book and you will find that there is more to learn. Ms. Small clearly outlines the views that were prevalent surrounding adoption from the past to the present with an insiders understanding that could only be arrived at through having lived within that very system. Her extensive education, as well as her work within the adoption field allow her a center seat on the adoption stage. Historically all adoption decisions have been made without input from the adoptee and it is only relatively recently that adoptees have found their voices. I, for one, am more than pleased to have Ms. Small speak on my behalf and on the behalf of all adoptees. Three cheers for such a well written, informative book. It should be required reading for all who participate in adoption, including those who regulate and/or facillitate it.

Oh, how I wish that my parents could have read this book when I was a youngster. And oh how I wish I had this book to read when I was a young woman. I'm a senior citizen now, adopted at birth. I spent too much of my childhood and adult life feeling ashamed of myself because I was adopted. I grew up believing that I was a bad seed because my real mother gave me away. I was completely buried under the shame of adoption that Ms. Small so adeptly describes as "The Adoption Mystique."

Had I read this book as a teen ager, I would have been astounded to learn that there were other people in this world who felt as I did. A light would have come on in my closet. A voice would have been heard in place of my silence. Most importantly, my feelings about myself would have been validated. All human beings need to be acknowledged and validated for who they are.

THE ADOPTION MYSTIQUE is a collection - a series of Joanne Wolf Small's essays and articles she has written over several years. In the book, she defines, describes and dissects the taboo-like adoption myths that unfortunately are still around today. The equation, "adoption = silence = shame" is what Ms. Small is writing about.

Ms. Small explores the history - what are the myths how did they begin. She analyses them and writes at length about the problems we as a society still have as a result our culture's reliance upon them as truths. Ms. Small also talks about the heavy consequences so many of us have paid because of these cultural taboos. Finally she addresses ways in which we can move forward to bring about changes in the ways our society views adoption.

Ms. Small establishes one basic tenet up front. Adoption is different. Adoption is not the same experience as being raised by your natural parents. Adoptees have two sets of parents. Now this doesn't mean that adoption is bad. What it means is that people need to recognize, understand and uphold the differences.

I was especially intrigued by Ms. Small's essay on "The Task of Telling." Sooner or later every adoptive family has to face this issue and in turn every adoptee is affected by it. The author offers us this troubling observation. "If people believed that telling children they are adopted would be perceived as good news, the difficulty of what to say, when and how to say it would be obviated. People want to shout good news from the rooftops. But when people are faced with the telling task, they are forced to face an unpleasant truth."

Ms. Small talks about the "hows" and "whys" of telling. She describes the pain and the angst that surround telling. She writes about the dilemmas of delaying telling or even not telling at all. Finally, she puts forward positive ways to go about the task. The most important idea to remember is not to lay the burden on the child. What wise words these are!

In THE ADOPTION MYSTIQUE, you'll read about discrimination against adoptees. You will see out how the media has contributed to the myths of "adoptee as bad seed." You'll learn about the history of sealed records in the United States and the movements that are afoot to change the laws. You'll read about the meaning of "search."

As you read THE ADOPTION MYSTIQUE you will begin to see how we can change - how we can begin to debunk these wretched myths. Knowledge is power!

THE ADOPTION MYSTIQUE is for everyone. Adoptees, it's your life line. Adoptive parents and everyone else who loves adoptees - gentle help has arrived. Teachers, social workers, doctors and other professionals - these extremely well researched articles will enhance your ability to help all the different people you meet whose lives have been touched by adoption. There are extensive footnotes following each article as well as a bibliography and separate subject and author indexes at the back.

Reviewer: Anita Walker Field is an adoptee, a retired Chicago public school teacher, and a long time advocate for adoptee rights. Ms. Field is currently Secretary of the Executive Committee of Bastard Nation: The Adoptee Rights Organization.

The Adoption Mystique by Joanne Wolf Small is a book that every adoptee rights activist needs to keep on the nightstand. I first ran into Joanne in 1980 when somebody gave me an article about sealed records and identities she'd written for a social work publication. It was from Joanne that I first heard the peculiar legal concept that the adoptee and natural parent(s) are "as if dead to each other." That article stuck with me, and I credit Joanne in large part for raising my consciousness and bringing me into my strange adoptee rights "career" a decade later. But Joanne has done more than write. In 1980, she was the only adopted member of the federal Model Adoption Legislation Procedures and Advisory Panel (Model Adoption Act 1980). The panel's sweeping recommendations, including unrestricted records for all adoptees nationwide, was a broadside on the secret adoption system. The report sent the industry into such a tizzy that Gladney formed the strong arm lobby, the National Council for Adoption, to "guarantee" that records remained sealed.

This year as I re-read The Adoption Mystique I realized that Joanne had said it all. In a just world, we should be able to fold up our tents and go home. Unfortunately, we live in an unjust world.

The Adoption Mystique was published in 2003. This year it was republished with some additions. In November US Book News named The Adoption Mystique a social change finalist for its National Best Book Award 2007.

Joanne Small is an adoptee rights revolutionary and is happy to know her and recommend her book. Give yourself a Happy New Year and read The Adoption Mystique. And act on it.

This little book of essays takes on big sacred cows both of the adoption industry and the adoption reform movement, and makes hamburger of
them! Ms. Small, an adoptee, social worker, and long-time activist for
adoptee rights, makes the case that the adoption system as it now exists, a culture of secrets and lies, is itself dysfunctional. She also questions the medical model of adoption (everyone is wounded and in need of therapy) and the pathologizing of adopted persons in such theories as "Adopted Child Syndrome" and the public fascination with adopted killers and other criminals. All of her essays are liberally footnoted, providing both documentation of her research and a whole world of adoption reading that readers may want to follow up on. This kind of careful scholarship is refreshing in a field full of unproven theories, unsupported claims and over-generalized statements.

Ms. Small was the only adoptee on the Model Adoption Legislation and
Procedures Committee in 1978.Out of this committee came the Model State
Adoption Act, which recommended open records for adopted adults. The
National Council for Adoption was formed to combat this progressive act, and we have been battling them ever since. In her many years as an activist, Ms. Small has learned many lessons about politics and adoption reform which she shares in "The Adoption Mystique".

The most valuable and timely part of this book is the section on compromise and legislation, and what happened in Maryland in 1997 when a bill was introduced that featured contact vetoes and an elaborate and expensive mandatory intermediary system. Some adoption reformers supported this bill with the rationale that without compromise nothing could pass, most adoptees could have reunions, and that this was a "baby step" to full adoptee rights.

Ms. Small neatly and logically demolishes this flawed argument in her essay. She makes a clear distinction between unconditional adoptee rights legislation, and search and reunion legislation, and why the latter is always in danger of compromise. Her analysis of the Maryland legislation is clear and well-reasoned and can serve as a guideline for other state groups on what not to do legislatively, and why a real civil rights bill can not have restrictions, vetoes, or conditions to the exercise of those rights.

I hope everyone working on legislation in their own state makes this book their bible on what kind of legislation to introduce, support, and hold out for. This is a well-written, well thought-out book that should be in the library of every adoption activist. Some may not agree with all of the conclusions or ideas, but all certainly can learn and question and begin their own dialogue on legislative activism, and how the mystique of adoption has become so ingrained in popular culture that it is hard to break through with reality and truth. I highly recommend The Adoption Mystique.

Mary Anne Cohen

In the words of Howard Cosell, Joanne Wolf Small "tells it like it is up close and personal" in her must read book, The Adoption Mystique. In this well researched critique of adoption, Ms. Small destroys the myth that adoption is or ever was designed to be "in the best interest of the child" as touted by the Adoption Industry. In a series of cogent and insightful essays that are a culmination of both her experience as an adoptee and life's work as a clinical social worker, Ms. Small rips the veneer off the warm fuzzies of institutional adoption to reveal the rot at its core that even denies adults who were adopted as children the right to obtain a copy of their original birth certificate. In writing The Adoption Mystique, Ms. Small follows in the footsteps of Friedrich Nietzsche who fearlessly exposed the rot of the institutional sacred cows of his day. I applaud her integrity and courage for telling the truth of how adoption affects adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.

Msgr. John W. Sweeley, Th.D.

Adoptee and father of three adopted sons

Author of:

The Historical Jesus: Man, Myth or God

Rights, Liberties, and Social Justice: Why the Radical Religious Right is Wrong (September 2007)

Written by Joanne Wolf Small, M.S.W., The Adoption Mystique is not a general book about adoption, but rather a focused, politically-minded call for the civil rights of adoptees, specifically the right to access their own birth records and learn about their birth family's genetic heritage. Many American states deny adoptees the right to learn about their ancestry; others allow it under abrogated circumstances, and many subject those adoptees who inquire to rigorous interviews or worse, treating them practically as potential criminals. The Adoption Mystique examines fundamental myths endemic to the closed-adoption practice, debunks the claim that open birth records will lead more potential mothers to choose abortion over adoption (it hasn't in the two U.S. states that have always had open birth record laws), and calls vociferously for the civil rights of adoptees. The Adoption Mystique is uncompromising in its view that adoption should be a process that considers the rights of the adoptee over the wishes of the birth parents or adoptive parents in instances where no compromise is possible, examines bias against adoptees in the media and society, and debunks the myth that an adopted person is sundered of ties to their heritage, or that they should just "get over" the need to search for their birth record information. Strongly written and highly recommended.

Michael J. Carson
Reviewer

"How refreshing to find a book that tackles the societal mores revolving around adoption with such clear and concise explanations of the evolving institution. If you know nothing at all about adoption and the way that society views this institution then this is the book for you. If you think that you know all about adoption, read this book and you will find that there is more to learn. Ms. Small clearly outlines the views that were prevalent surrounding adoption from the past to the present with an insiders understanding that could only be arrived at through having lived within that very system. Her extensive education, as well as her work within the adoption field, allows her a center seat on the adoption stage. Historically all adoption decisions have been made without input from the adoptee and it is only relatively recently that adoptees have found their voices. I, for one, am more than pleased to have Ms. Small speak on my behalf and on the behalf of all adoptees. Three cheers for such a well written, informative book. It should be required reading for all who participate in adoption, including those who regulate and/or facilitate it." --New Hampshire State Representative Janet F. Allen

I bought Ms. Small's book because I was interested in the causes for the social disapproval and stigma which we adoptees live with. Unfortunately, I based my purchase upon reviews and jacket blurbs.
While the book does cover some of the same ground as many other better written and edited books and does introduce some good material, it is only the last few chapters. The first 120 pages or so are a jumbled potpourri of citations from dozens of other authors, strung together like note cards for a research paper which was never pulled together into a coherent narrative. I almost quit reading it a number of times, but kept at it thinking there must be some reason for its publication.
The final chapters on the progress of legislative remedies bears reading, and Small does a decent job of explaining the source of much of society's ignorance and disapproval of birth mothers, adoptive parents and adoptees. Perhaps Ms. Small is a great therapist or riveting speaker, but her prose resembles my income tax recordkeeping - a basket full of fragments. I am familiar with many of the works she cites, and she takes quotes out of context and writes with the tentative passive tense typical of a sophomore.
Read this book AFTER you have read Nancy Verrier and Betty Jean Lifton's works as well as Brodzinsky's - they are far more important to adoptees seeking to understand how it has affected our lives. I wish I had had my library order it rather than buying it.