Customer Reviews

Adoption Reunions: A Book for Adoptees, Birth Parents and Adoptive Families

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

As an adult adoptee who is in the throes of a reunion, this book was a wonderful addition to my library. It was sent to me from my birth mother, and it has opened my eyes to what she (and my adoptive parents) may be going through at this juncture in our relationships. The author, an adoptee, shares what she went through before, during and after her own reunion with candor and helpful hints (even listing them at the end of each chapter). She is also involved in organizations that allow her to talk with other members of the triad, who share their stories about reunions, reliquishments and adoptions. It is a very specific book, as well. It reads very much like a handbook (with specific organizations to join, specific agencies, etc.) for a reunion. What I found particularly helpful about the book was the middle several chapters in which she divides the reunion--from backstage through "You're On" through Post Reunion. It is also appealing for all three parts of the adoption, as she takes the time to discuss the issues that anyone any place on the triad may be concerned about, what they may feeling, or how they may be acting. The first few chapters were either too general (history) or too specific (about certain agencies that do not relate to all adoptions), but overall it was a wonderful, insightful book about the reunion process.

I have been on a recent tear through libraries, databases and book stores to adequately research reunions of adoptees with their bioparents. One word of caution to anyone going through this same process: this book has a Canadian perspective, so contends with Canadian adoption laws. Through no fault of Ms. McColm, this is my number one complaint about the reviews that enticed me into reading this book. Another obstacle the reader must overcome is the author's overwhelming efforts to be politically correct for everyone. I felt that some of the book's honesty and integrity was sacrificed in order not to ruffle any feathers. The truth is, adoption is an issue of many, many nuances and many generations have different terms for similar things. I think the author might have been more effective if she had written from her heart and her experiences, and not been so worried about her audience.

Simply put, this book is not for birth parents, it's for the birth mother. The subtitle should be changed. The "voice" of the book is talking to the birth mother as the only interested birth parent, and even though some brief paragraphs refer to the birth father, he is treated not as a reader of the book, but in the third person, for example, "What if the adoptee asks about the birth father? What should you say?" Well, how about "I'm him."

I'm a birth father who searched for and was reunited with his son. I read this book then sent it to my son to read before we met for the first time. It's very good at covering all the possible outcomes of a reunion including the influences of all the other members of both families. The minus is that it's focused mostly on birth mothers and adoptees. Overall it's a good book for anyone involved in a reunion.

I was very pleased with my experience. My book was in perfect shape, was reasonably priced, and was received much sooner than I expected. I would definitely deal with Amazon in the future.