Customer Reviews

Adoption: Uncharted Waters

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Uncharted Waters is chilling and compelling and an important contribution to those interested in adoption. It invites its readers to explore the abysmal pit of worst-case scenario adoptions in terms of harm caused by adoptees as opposed to to them.

Why go there? What is Kirschner's purpose in dredging up these tales horrendous true crimes and the criminals who committed them? Is he a bleeding heart seeking to exonerate murderers by testifying on their behalf and writing their stories?

No more and no less than many have done in other similar situations: explore violent deviant behaviors that fit a pattern in an effort to find a causal connection that could be remediated. Writing with understanding and compassion, for those who committed heinous acts as well as society, Dr. Kirschner's goal is to prevent future pain and suffering.

Did adoption make them do it? No more than high school created the Columbine slaughters. Did secrets and lies about their origins, and feelings of abandonment contribute? Yes, just as teasing and taunting did for the Columbine shooters.

While the initial separation at birth - the "primal wound" is perhaps the foundation of creating Kirschner's identified cluster of behaviors known as Adopted Child Syndrome, it is clear that it is the conscious knowing of having been "given away" - rejected - that is at the heart of adoption pain and angst, and that it is exacerbated by secrets and lies about the reason for this early abandonment.

Yet, most adoptees deal with it all in socially acceptable ways: denial, people pleasing, rejecting-avoidance behaviors, self-directed anger/depression, or mild acting out within - or just pushing the limits of - legal and social limits.

So what makes some go "over the edge" into a dissociative disorder - the basis of his testimony in all the cases - not ACS? Kirschner is very much a realist and clearly agrees with Sarnoff Medick, whom he quotes as saying: "Natural-born killer may be created when both nature and nurture conspire to rob infants of two fundamental birthrights: a loving mother and a normal brain."

In each of the case studies in this book adoptees lost their first mothers. A few spent time in foster care and suffered an additional abandonment experience early in life. One was physically and emotionally abused. Four had the added burden of a biological sibling. One had an adopted sibling who was successfully reunited. Most experienced feelings of rejection in their dating and/or married lives. Two experienced having a child of theirs aborted (one had two girlfriends abort). One experienced the death of a parent - by suicide - another abandonment/rejection creating experience.

But the one common denominator of all of these adopted men whose rage turned to murder was the fact that all were lied to outright or by omission about their original parents and the reason they were relinquished fro adoption, and all had their adoption loss issues invalidated and ignored by family and professionals.

The lies, coupled with dissociative fantasizing about who their mothers were, and thus who they were...festered their anger into rage that erupted in one or many acts of murder. The taking of life...by those who felt that part of their lives were taken from them.

I was aware of murderous adoptees and Kirschner's work in the late 80's and wrote about both in The Dark Side of Adoption.

I read Uncharted Waters now, not just from the perspective as one interested in all things adoption, nor as an objective researcher and writer. I read it as the mother of a child who took out her murderous rage out on herself and noted that one of the commonalities in these case studies was suicidal ideation and/or attempts.


Kirschner points out several times that it is a sub-set of adoptees who suffer from Adopted Child Syndrome and only a sub-set of these who murder. I would think it a tremendous contribution to adoption literature for Dr. Kirschner to write another book about all the other ways ACS affects adoptees, other than turning them into murderers. The untold many - for which there are no statistics - who turn their rage inward, many of whom are written off as "accidents."

The final chapters on prevention and treatment are important and useful, but alas fell short of recommending open adoption and concrete help provided for clients suffering with a great passionate need to know. In each case in which Kirschner became involved after the fact of a violent crime, he demanded the defense search for the birth families, yet absence if the suggestion of search as a tool of prevention and treatment. The other missing piece is any mention of CUB or any indication that the vast majority of reunions are welcoming, even when stating: "Even a `bad' reunion in these [after the fact of a murder] cases, chancing a second rejection by the birth mother, would have been extremely helpful and therapeutic..." I have conducted searches on behalf of adoptive parents who saw their adolescent child's desperation. Concern that a rejection might cause further harm, can be alleviated by conducting the search and contact without his/her knowledge to test the water for acceptance.

This shortcoming aside, the book - as Kirschner's work - is a valuable contribution and is recommended reading.

Mirah Riben, author "shedding light on...The Dark Side of Adoption" (1988) and "The STORK MARKET: America's Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry" (2007)

I read this book with great interest - I am not a psychologist, nor am I in any way involved with adoption.
However, the book was in no way difficult for me to
understand. It is written clearly and focuses both on the
psychological and on the criminal aspects of the subject
matter, leaving nothing to the imagination. The case studies are detailed with specific references to the
persons involved.
It is a fine study of a subject terrain previously not
heavily traveled.

Using extreme examples, Kirschner forces us to face up to issues that potentially affect all adoptees. These are riveting tales, about murderers and parricides, about awful deeds, but ultimately they're about the pain of rejection, abandonment, and exclusion, and what they can do to a child already in distress. A great read, and a good introduction to Kirschner's breakthrough work on Adopteed Child Syndrome.

Adoption: Uncharted Waters is a must read for adopted persons and their families who really want to understand the nature and breadth of adoptees' emotions toward their birth families and their adoptive parents. The cases cited by Kirschner are extreme. All have committed serial murder or parricide.

Like a scuba diving instructor, author and psychologist David Kirschner dives into the depths of the subconscious ocean of these individuals to describe and map the inner stresses and strains placed upon them by the adoption process. It's a fascinating journey.

Dr. Kirschner provides a realistic view of the tide of anger rising up when a child is not able to develop trust within the adoptive family. He points out how sealed records can actually thwart the new bond between the adoptee and his or her adoptive parents. When parents and society tell an adopted person that their records will always be sealed and that they will never be honest and authentic, it can breed an anger that knows no bounds.

While few adoptees kill, nevertheless, Dr. Kirschner's work is a wake-up call that adoptees' emotional lives are at stake. Whatever degree of stress the adoptee feels will manifest as a physical symptom and/or disease of some sort. At a time when our health care system is out of control and breaking down, we can't afford to ignore the preventive care that every adoptee needs: Honesty! Adoption is not a non-event. It can have lifelong consequences.

We in the adoption community owe a debt of gratitude to Dr. Kirschner for bringing this subject to our attention in such a readable and interesting format.

Adoption: Uncharted Waters... a thoughtful, provocative, and well written book about adoptees who kill. David Kirschner accurately presents the psychological world of adopted people. His book is a must read for anyone who wants to understand what sows the seeds of violence in some of them. - Joe Soll, LCSW - psychotherapist, author of "Evil Exchange" and "Adoption Healing... a path to recovery."

Adoption: Uncharted Waters... a fascinating and sometimes chilling depiction of how profoundly the experience of having lost one's mother can impact some adoptees. This is an important piece of literature that should be in the library of anyone who counsels or even loves an adoptee.

An excellent well written book that is a must read for all involved in the adoption process. Dr. Kirschner details several criminal cases in which he testified for the defenses of killers who were adopted. He delves into what he believes, based on his years of experience are the psychological reasons why some adoptees commit such heinous acts. Victims of other types of childhood trauma may also benefit greatly from this excellent work which I highly recommend.

David Kirschner, Adoption: Uncharted Waters (Juneau Press, 2006)

I should probably start off by saying that this is not a book you really want to read if you're in the process of adopting at the time. Kirschner, a psychologist and expert witness in the field of Adopted Child Syndrome, looks at a number of case studies of adopted kids who kill, according to Kirschner, because they're adopted. Not a light and fluffy book by any means.

I will admit right up front that my prejudice against this book stems in large part from the fact that I am adopted myself, and that despite Kirschner's repeated emphasis that only a small portion of the subset of adopted children suffer from what he calls Adopted Child Syndrome, he seems to infer even more often that this "small subset" is much larger than we care to think. That said, I can't buy his initial premise here, which seems to stem from the old cliché that blood is thicker than water-- that we have some sort of paranormal, or preternatural, bond with blood relatives. When children are placed for adoption, so the hypothesis goes, a psychic wound is created, and if it is not properly cared for, the adopted child can develop Adopted Child Syndrome, which can lead to your becoming the next David Berkowitz or Joel Rifkin (both of whom were adopted, of course).

Sorry, not buying it; family is those you choose to be with, not those you're stuck with thanks to heredity. In fact, I think that, aside from the fearmongering aspects, it's likely this book does more harm than good to its own cause; by continuing to perpetuate this idiotic "blood is thicker than water" idea, it also perpetuates the unconscious prejudice in the minds of those who still believe it, and thus furthers the continuing stigma of adoption (which Kirschner explicitly states he's trying to break down). In a society where the laws are still very clearly prejudiced against adoption, so we need more of it? Of course we don't.

Now that I've gotten all that out of the way, I will say that, divorced from its core premise, it's not a bad read. I'm a sucker for both case-study books and serial killers, and so there was a good deal of interesting reading here about some lesser-known cases. Even considering that, however, there is that ludicrous core premise, so take this book with as much salt as necessary. **

This is a fascinating book: A clinical look at the pitfalls of adoption in the most basic of laymen's non-clinical terms. Examining how adoption can affect a child throughout his/her adult life, Dr. Kirshner tells us of some of the more (or less) notable criminal cases in which he participated where the defendant(s) were all adopted. (i.e.: Son of Sam; Joel Rifkin.) If you, or someone you know is thinking of adopting, or has already adopted a child, this book is a must!