Customer Reviews

Adoption Undone

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The "poor us" tone of this book makes it irritating to read. I wonder if the author's birth child was near-perfect in all ways, as I can't really see anything their adopted child did that was so horrendously family-splitting. True, the author's first daughter's descent into self-mutilation is very sad, but was it really caused by the family dynamic change, or by the author's persnickety ideas about what a child should be and how she should behave?

I found myself wondering several times, "is what the author just related a reason to undo the adoption?"-or even if all of the situations illustrated combined should have even precipitated the collapse of the relationship. Maybe there were situations not mentioned in the book.

I felt throughout that the author was not only trying to justify their decision, but find someone to blame so that the readers would think, "Oh, that poor family!" I never felt that anyone was to blame besides the shallow parents who wanted to adopt a child close to their first child's age so that she would have a playmate. Join a playgroup. You have added another in a series of traumas to your adopted daughter's life and it's no one's fault but your own.