Customer Reviews

Adult Children of Alcoholics

5 star:		(55)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Excellent book for those who don't know why their lives are a mess, why they keep getting into abusive relationships, why they don't laugh & have fun like other people, people who tear themselves apart for every imagined or real mistake, those who feel inferior and worthless, those like me who have always guessed (often incorrectly) at what normal is. Finally here are the answers millions of people need to let go of their crippling past and rediscover their future--one they want to be part of instead of dreading more of the same misery. The authors have been where we are, they know what they are talking about, they are US too. They have experience, compassion & empathy. They lovingly & gently open the doors to the truth for us, and this book could cause you to feel sad, angry, bitter, depressed but the next page will fill you with realistic hope (not the irrational hopes we're used to), belief in a happy future for yourself, motivation to start the journey of recovery from childhood abuse, neglect, trauma, denial, pain, etc. There is a thorough section on recovery groups and what to expect, how it works and so on, so that strangers to recovery will know what to expect, and maybe feel better about taking that 1st step--going to a meeting, finding a therapist, joining a group, reading books & workbooks, reaching out to safe others for support & more. I highly recommend this book to any one from a substance-abuse type family background, but also to people from dysfunctional families as well since all of the same principles apply. I also recommend Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families to those who can't relate to an alcoholic background at all, but who maybe grew up with an over-eating parent, an absent father, a mentally ill caretaker, etc. This is a gentle start for even the most recovery-resistant person. For myself, this book helped me see myself as that little terrified, abused child who was helpless, needy, neglected & denied, and begin to want to love, hug & heal MY inner self instead of running to rescue everyone else, for a change. It's my turn, and thanks to that book I finally believe in my journey and my future. I hope you will take the step and see for yourself what truths lay waiting to bring you relief & understanding.

I've read a number of books on this subject. I wouldn't say this book was unhelpful but is too absolute in its information to be anything but alarming to anyone tentatively looking for answers. It's also not very well written. I would suggest reading either "Recovery, A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics" by Gravitz & Bowden (an excellent first book) along with "A Primer on Adult Children of Alcoholics" by Cermak for an added layer; and then, absolutely essential as a more in-depth book: "Children of Alcoholism - A Survivor's Manual" by Seixas & Youcha. Leave the Woititz book for more information. By all means, read it. It does have excellent information; just remember the adage "Take what you need and leave the rest". Something she unfortunately forgot to include.

I swear this book was written about me. It opened my eyes to ways I deal with and approach life, so that now I feel clearer and have some answers. Anyone who has an alcoholic parent should read this book, because even if you think it didn't effect you, you might be wrong.

This book was instrumental in helping me link current behaviors to past events experienced as a child of an alcoholic family. I always new unhealthy behaviors I practice today were a result of my early experiences, but I had never thought through the correlations thoroughly. This book did that for me. Now instead of thinking in general terms such as "I act like this because I'm from a dysfunctional family," I can think, "I act like x,y, or z, because I experienced/learned/internalized x, y, or z." It enabled me to view my current behaviors as normal for someone who experienced what I did...discovering the specific correlations and that I was normal provided a big relief. As a beginning psychotherapist, it synthesized the signs that may enable me to recognize a client who is an ACoA, as many individuals, unfortunately, are not forthcoming with this information, and a therapist unfamiliar with characteristics of ACoAs may misdiagnosis what is going on with his/her client if s/he is not aware that the client comes from this type of background. If you are an ACoA, give this book to significant others in your life so that they can understand why you behave the way you do at times.

A book, any book is only a collection of words on paper; it's the thoughts and beliefs of another person. As such a book can't change the way you behave. However, what it can do is provide you with the tools to enable you to make your own changes. For those who were children in a family where alcohol was used in an unhealthy manner there are a select groups of books that help provided the tools for such change - Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Geringer Woititz is one of those books.

This is a simple book, it avoids jargon and academic theories and as a result is clear to read and therefore easy to understand. The book will mean different things to different people, depending on experience and perspective. Therefore, Woititz herself suggests the book may be useful in a number of ways:

To gain greater knowledge and understanding of what it means to be a child harmfully effected by a parent's use of alcohol.

As a self-help guide, for use in an individual's move towards development and growth.

As a basis for discussion groups for adult children of alcoholics.

The book is broken down into four linked chapters: What happened to you as a child, What is happening to you now, Breaking the cycle and What about your children. Each chapter is short yet to the point (indeed the book is only 106 pages long) and gives the reader an insight into the there and thens, the here and nows and possibilities of the future.

I grew up in a family where one of my parents used alcohol in a way that was destructive not only to her but to her children. As a child I had no idea of what to expect in my family - the only constant that I knew was that on a regular basis my mum would be drunk when I came home from school. I took on the role of the hero in my family - perhaps by my achievements somehow my family would be normal. My mum stopped drinking when I was ten but the seeds had already been sown for me, my patterns had been established. My script was to achieve and that's what I did: good in school and at sports, a Degree and a Masters, a counselling qualification, a series of relationships where I was the helper. And then it stopped, I began to realise that my life was shaped and often directed by the events of my childhood. Along with some therapy, books like Adult Children of Alcoholics enabled me to make some healthy and liberating changes in my life.

I now work as a Counsellor for individuals with alcohol related problems. I use a lot of what is in this book as a theme to my work. I do this because there are truths in the book that will apply to many people who could be defined as adult children of alcoholics. My only criticism is that the book could be longer. It feels like the first part of a book about Adult Children of Alcoholics with the second part - an in-depth exploration into working through some of the major issues - mentioned but not expanded on. That aside, this is an excellent book. Use it as a signpost for the changes that you want to make in your life.

Before reading this book I had taken the terrifying step of seeing a therapist for my chronic depression and low self-esteem. Until you read a book like this it seems an alien concept that there might be people out there having almost exactly the same experiences. It's a short book so you have no excuse for not reading it. This book, so simple and accurate, will change the way you look at your life and perhaps change the way you live it. If you're the adult child of an alcoholic and you haven't looked for help do that first or do that in conjunction with reading this book. You have the rest of your life to live and this book brings to light a common problem in our society long left unrecognized and ignored.

This book crossed my path in my early twenties and helped me
recognize a life pattern as the result of being born into
a family of alcoholics. Due to its guidance, I joined the
12-step programs adult children of alcoholics and codependents
anonymous (among others).
Twenty years later, I am happily married and successfully
dealing with my codependency patterns. I now set boundaries,
now have self-esteem, and am able to discern whats "my stuff"
and "your baggage" and don't take yours on as "my problem" any
more. Thank you very much Janet Woititz! By the way, I have
recommended this book to more than 500 people in my counseling
work over the years. No one ever reported back that it was a
waste of time.

I cry every time I read this bok, because everything it says is true. I always knew that I had problems but I couldn't link them with anything. Now that I have this book, however, I can relate to everything and now I know why I have such a low self esteem. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO ANYONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING AN ADULT CHILD OF AN ALCOHOLIC! You would never think that your problems aren't your fault, but this book shows you otherwise! This book tells you So much about yourself that you would never ever know otherwise. It is a perfect work of literature.

My counselor gave me this book to read and it's been the best material I have come across so far. I have identified with so many things in this book and see certain traits in myself that have been written in the book. I am finally able to recognize some of my traits and patterns and am aware of the changes I need to make in order to hopefully have healthy relationships in the future. I recommend this book to anyone who is delving into the Adult Child area. I don't remember a lot of my childhood, but through the help of this book, I am able to see a lot of things that I missed out on and how those little things have impacted me throughout life thus far. I will carry this book with me everywhere for quite some time probably and refer to it often.

This book literally saved my life! Even though I am college educated with an advanced degree in social work, I always thought I was "crazy". When I worked professioanlly with truly "crazy" people, I lived in fear that one day, I too, would be diagnosed as crazy.

I was introduced to this life altering book through an Adult Childrenof Alcoholics group. I devoured the book as soon as I got my hands on it. I couldn't believe what I was reading...it described MY LIFE, and more importantly, it described MY FEELINGS, which I had never been able to sort out.

Thank God I know I am not crazy. I now realize I was not responsible for my parents' behavior. This book gave me tools to use to change my life. My life is so much better after reading this book. If you can only read one book, read this one. In my opinion, it's the best there is.