Adult Children of Divorce [Hardcover]

Edward Beal M.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 1, 1991

A book directed at the adult children of divorce, the millions of people who are still recovering from seeing their homes and lives torn apart. Based on years of research and more than 300 case studies, this book studies the lasting effects of divorce.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The children of divorce, perhaps predictably, face rocky challenges in forming and maintaining their own significant relationships. In addressing the struggle of adult children of divorce to become free of their past, Beal, a practicing psychiatrist, and Hochman, a journalist, conclude that it is not the divorce itself, but the kind of family in which it occurs, that allows for successful adulthood for the children of ruptured marriages. How the parents managed their divorce and the child's role in it determines his or her behavioral maturity as an adult, according to the research and case studies cited here. A thoughtful book likely to encourage those contemplating divorce to pause and investigate healing alternatives. Author tour.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Just as an abused child may become an adult child abuser, and a child of an alcoholic parent may later continue the pattern, so a child of divorced parents may have difficulty as an adult in maintaining an intimate relationship. This study suggests that a family's style of managing relationships and dealing with conflict is passed on from generation to generation. Because the coping traits of broken families are more often dysfunctional than in healthy families, "children carry into adulthood the debris of their parents' relationships." With psychological insight and numerous case studies, the authors demonstrate how the cycle can be broken and how positive changes in a person's behavior can result in the ability to achieve rewarding personal bonds. Recommended for public and academic libraries.
- Ilse Heidmann Ali, Motlow State Community Coll., Tullahoma, Tenn.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 347 pages
• Publisher: Delacorte Press (February 1, 1991)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0385299249
• ISBN-13: 978-0385299244
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.8 x 1.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,050,902 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Present and future relationships can become healthy, May 16, 2000

By 

Andrew J. Boshardy (Pittsfield, IL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Adult Children of Divorce (Paperback)

I read this book during a time of major upheaval in my relationship with my wife. Near divorce I read this book and realized how my parents' divorce adversely affected me. In ways that we today think are normal we sabotage our relationships and carry on the legacy of our parents' failed relationships. Unless we identify what happened to them by asking historical questions about our parents' life before, during, and after marriage, where they came from, what secrets lay in their family closets, we are going to repeat them. After all, it is what we recognize as "normal". Well, divorce is not normal. Fundamental problems that existed in our parents' relationship and our current relationship follow identical patterns. Recognizing them and understanding their effects on our current relationship skills (which were not modeled in a healthy manor) helps us define, change, and proceed with new and healthier attitudes about being married. Especially when children are involved, we should make every humanly possible effort to save the relationship. As spouses, we are both different and similar. We found each other for reasons we weren't cognizant of. We were looking to fill our unmet needs. In today's world where divorce is so accepted, fragmented and drastically unhealthy behaviors are being taught by parents who divorce. It is always easier to divorce than to heal a relationship. They take work, but they are worth it. This is not to say that those who are abused in any way should stay with an abuser. But as human beings we can change.

I called Gloria Hochman and pleaded with her to reprint the book. She said they were thinking about it. And I am very, very grateful to her and Dr. Beal for helping me save my self and my marriage. I think that this should be required reading when an adult child of divorce is about to get married or if he or she is contemplating divorce.

Don't let the mistakes of our parents ruin our relationships and perpetuate the cycle. Stop the cycle. Heal from the losses of divorce, absence of a parent, depression of the custodial parent, and unhealthy self nurturing children have to endure during and after the process. Co-dependency can develop and rear its head in unhealthy relationships we choose because it feels "safe", "normal", what we are "used" to.

By the way, the changes I have made in my life have been so monumental and healthy, that my wife and I are pursuing a healthy, caring, supportive, accepting, honest, (many more superlatives) relationship now more than ever. And the lack of respect I once held towards my parents has healed and I have been able to carry on relationships with them that have been healthy, without emotional blackmail, emotional incest, or blaming. Dr. Andrew J. Boshardy

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Reminded me the results of our actions may actual outlive us, November 20, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: Adult Children of Divorce (Hardcover)

I recommend this book for all those who have experienced the divorce of their parents or are comtemplating divorce from their current spouse. Our response to accepting the truth about ourselves and our families and taking corrective changes in our behaviour can impact our ability to overcome the emotional disappointment of divorce.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Needs to be Reprinted and Released Again!, October 5, 2006

By 

W. H. McDonald Jr. "The American Author Assoc... (Elk Grove, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Adult Children of Divorce (Hardcover)

I am not sure if you can still get this book new any more - I first read it back in 1991 and have kept it on my book shelf. I use it to help other people going through personal and family issues. As a part-time minister I find that this book has lots of good and wise advice. It is still great informaton even 15 years after it was written.

This book has saved many relationships becasue it gives some deeper understanding to the root casues of actons, thinking and the attitudes that were created and established when their parents divorced. No longer can we hide the fact that divorce does not hurt the children - it always does damage - the question isn't if it hurts them - but how much and for how long!

I recomend this book for all adult children of divorce - and I think couples getting ready to ax their relationships should take a harder look at their children's lives and what they are about to do to them.