Top positive review
304 people found this helpful
My new ACA Bible
on April 20, 2001
Whoever said it was too cookbook hasn't appreciated the the value of having a thorough one at hand. I loved the Friel's approach. It is a bit harder on the ego than the Woititz ACOA book but this one includes ALL dysfunctions, and I know even after years in recovery I will still find valuable resources in this book to guide me along my bumpy journey. As one who has NO idea what is normal, yet somehow manages to function at the basic level in society, I definitely appreciated the simple yet thorough approach used here.
This book isn't another "blame the parents--give you an excuse" soother. It requires that we take responsibility for our adult lives, recovery, happiness, misery, relationships, dysfunctional patterns & our future. This book shows me exactly what healthy (they don't believe in the statistical normal, to them normal means emotionally healthy, which is a far more useful definition of the ambiguous term "normal" anyway) living means, looks-smells-tastes-feels like! I can use this book as a check-up to see if I'm on the right track and if not, follow the suggestions or get further help.
Most of all this book helped me to recognize that recovery isn't an overnight process, can't be done alone in isolation, that I'm human and mistakes are actually a GOOD and WELCOME experience and do NOT have anything whatsoever to do with my self-worth. This book even includes several chapters on how to respond to con artists, abusers & generally rude, mean or unhealthy people. How to deal with zingers, how to set healthy boundaries & protect ourselves & our healthy boundaries, I could go on for pages praising this book.
I've bought numerous other self-help books & this one was the best. The authors do suggest waiting until one has 2+ years of recovery before tackling this book. To hell with that. Read it now, and every step of the way on your journey. Start feeling better about YOU & your life right NOW, today. Good luck on your journey, happy discoveries to you.