Adultery: The Forgivable Sin : Healing the Inherited Patterns of Betrayal in Your Family [Hardcover]

Bonnie Eaker, Ph.D. Weil (Author), Ruth Winter (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1993

In this ground breaking new edition Dr. Weil reveals how to overcome the pain of betrayal and learn to heal the rift that adultery causes in a relationship. Statistically, only 35 percent of unions survive an affair. By teaching you and your partner the gift of forgiveness, Dr. Weil's proven methods will increase the odds to a happy 98 percent, with a healthier, more intimate relationship. This book provides practical exercises to cushion the pain, and her innovative therapy for children you can do at home!

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Everybody but your maiden aunt appears in this somewhat disorganized but ultimately helpful book. Woody and Mia mix it up with almost the entire House of Windsor. Tips to would-be paramours for avoiding triangles, scripts for discussions between cheater and cheatee, pre-relationship contracts outlining acceptable behavior and the ultimate in inner child work (embracing the wounded inner child of the spouse who cheated on you). Weill, a family therapist, and Winter, a syndicated columnist, maintain that cheating runs in families and is done to fill emotional rather than sexual needs, but their analysis lacks depth and is the least interesting aspect of the book. And by encouraging wounded spouses to be more sexually giving to their wandering partners, they belie their point that adultery is not about sex. They do point out that married men aren't the only ones on the prowl--so there is much to study here for the suspicious of both sexes.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Weil, a family therapist who works with individuals, families, and couples, has appeared on such television shows as Oprah , Geraldo , Good Day New York, and Maury Povich. Here, she contends that adultery is a cry for help in stabilizing a dysfunctional marriage and that many adulterers are themselves the children of adulterers. Drawing upon her patients' and her own experiences, Weil describes how knowledge of family intimacy patterns can be used to develop insight, understanding, and forgiveness in a relationship stressed by adultery. Numerous checklists and exercises assist readers in the identification and resolution of adultery conflicts. For popular self-help collections.
- Jodith Janes, Cleveland Clinic Fdn.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 228 pages
• Publisher: Birch Lane Pr (July 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1559721855
• ISBN-13: 978-1559721851
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,921,331 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America's best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City's best therapists. Known as "The Adultery Buster" and the "No. 1 Love Expert," she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don't Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity; The #1 Relationship Wrecker.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC's Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC's The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN.

Her cutting edge skills have been featured in The New York Times, New York Magazine, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, People and Ladies' Home Journal.

In her book, Make Up, Don't Break Up, Dr. Weil takes you step by step through a new understanding of relationships-the mysterious process of connecting, why men disconnect and how to educate them to reconnect/connect (Connectible by instruction)- to help you find and keep the lasting love you want.

Dr Bonnie's approach turns the conventional wisdom of finding and sustaining love- upside down:
# Men and women are more alike than different in their needs for love and intimacy.
# Why women should make the first move.
# Understanding your relationship with your parents is an essential step in finding and keeping love.
# Communication isn't everything - you can talk a relationship to death!

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

55 of 56 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Adultery is never ok, June 24, 2000

By 

"rosewolf-tg" - See all my reviews

Here's a look at reality. This book delves into family history, and psychology. This is more often than not the root cause of adultery so it's important to look at this and understand it.

I appreciated the line in the forward by Thomas F. Fogarty M.D. "Indeed, the legacy of adultery may affect those not even born at the time of the affair."

The authors examine the degree of work and commitment necessary to achieve a happy long lasting union. Self-examination is at the core.

Chapter six helps to take away the blind naive notions of romantic love. What can happen when a person does not deal with their own emptiness? They never find real life love and may turn to an affair to relive temporary passion and escape conflict.

I found this book to be quite valuable. It states that adultery is never ok. It covers much of the hard cold truths of betrayal. I think most people wouldn't venture into this if they were informed as to the magnitude of damage it can cause. It's not about two people. It's often about many, many people including children. You can't get happiness at the expense of others, and you can't get it by running from yourself.

Through my own personal experience,(the betrayed spouse), I found this book to be accurate, helpful, and grounded in reality.

43 of 46 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars One of the Best books on the subject!, April 3, 2000

By 

Kim B. (United States) - See all my reviews

After being with my husband for a total of 5 years and having our first child, i found out he was having an affair with a girl from work. He eventually realized his mistake and came home, but we still struggled with this. we went to counseling, and this was the book our counselor suggested. it really helps you deal with what happened and why. If you are in love with your spouse who has been unfaithful, it gives perspective into both sides and makes you look deep into yourself to decide whether you can forgive or not. we have since had our second daughter and are looking forward to many happy years together with our family and without the "affair" hanging over our marriage. this book is a great one for anyone going through the feelings of mistrust, hurt, anger or anything with infidelity!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Just what I needed...., July 3, 2009

By 

Book Club Facilitator (Arizona) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (Paperback)

Trying to understand a parent's infidelity, I bought this book and it WOWED me. When I thought there was no hope for forgivness...this was the answer.....Thank you!!!