Customer Reviews

The Adventures of Young Van Helsing: Quest for the Lost Scepter

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

This is one of the worst excuses for a film I have ever seen. What is seen is not acting - I doubt that any of the "actors" has ever been in an acting class - it is so bad it is not even funny. The end of the film is a band playing at a school prom that goes on forever with a piece that is not even musical. One of the characters wears glasses and is continually pushing them up on his nose until it is so irritating that you want to super glue them to this face to make him stop.

The pacing of the film is so slow that it seems to be filmed in slow motion. Scenes that should take one minute go on for 5.

A child with a camcorder in the back yard would make a better and more enjoyable film.

Even if someone gives you this thing for free, AVOID IT.

We found the movie in the bargain bin at Walmart ($5.50) - waste of money! The only bright star in the movie is keith jordan who is a young hottie and actually has some acting ability. The Britany Spears wanna-be needs to have a diction coach to lose the Georgia accent. The smoke guy must have worked over time in this movie - their was smoke every where! Save your money!

First off don't buy the film, but if you have a chance to rent the DVD do so because there is a great behind the scene feature about the making of the "zombie dog". Its defiantly worth the watch.

My 10 year loves this type of film and he even pointed out the worst acting I have ever seen filmed. The writing was a very close second. If someone were to take a beginning High School level film class this would be the result. Most likely it would have received a "C" grade at best. The writing was more along the lines of a Director saying to the actors (and I use that term loosely), "When you see the red light on the camera go on, start saying something." Giving this one star is beyond generous. Characterizations were written and acted so poorly that I can't even compare them to anything. The movie had to particular style i.e. farce, comedy, drama, irony. It just was plain awful.

Behold!

The Prophet Elijah speaks:

Oh ye people of the world, gather thy selves from distant lands of the Earth and heed my words. Among us sleeps the dormant Simon Magus, levitator, dreadful angle and utterer of unholy sounds. This monster has recently been put to sleep by the brave young Michael Van Helsing and his unlikely band of companions, but his indesructible ashes remain. These ashes can't be broken down at a cellular level, are capable of genetically reanimating dead tissue and are acidic in nature. Remember the following incantation and send copies of it to beings of all galaxies in the universe, that all might be prepared to recite it when the planets align and good and evil merge: "Breth glof mur hithdu ndfkir med urksht. Mey qwerf hujikolp bhu zse."

We have learned from Young Van Helsing's quest that God's Scepter can easily be lost by the wayward children of postal workers. It is thus likely that other of God's important tools stored in the Great Warehouse will be misplaced. Hear my prophetic words oh ye people- let us barcode and database these items, georeference their localities and image them using digital technology that they may called upon efficiently in time of need. Further more we must unite other warehouses of the world, each with its unique warehouse code to be incorporated into the unique identifier barcodes.

Farewell, and may the Belongings of God Online Database be with us.

Poorly written, BAD acting, confused storyline. This, basically, has no redeeming features other than that the gory parts aren't particularly gory.

This movie was so bad we had to pause it while we laughed hysterically at the bad acting, script, etc..

don't believe me, then look at this quote..

"Yeah, let's slap some peanut butter on this jam."

/:-\..riiiight.

This is a campy type of movie. The acting is not that great, but the movie was ok. The DVD shows some behind-the-scenes making of a prop that wasn't used much during the movie called the zombie dog. It was amazing all that went into making this prop and then due to time constraints, the prop was barely used.

The best part of this movie was when the ending credits started to roll. This movie was just PAINFUL to watch. Some of the worst acting I have ever seen. I had to give this movie one star because the rating system would not let me rate it any lower. Complete waste of time and MONEY. The only reason I watched it to the end was to see how the movie finished, I also kept wishing at some point the movie would get better, "NOT". Also a lot of wasted time on scenes that were just plain dragged out for no reason. I was very disappointed. Can it get any worse??? I doubt it very much. The sceptor is not the only thing missing in this movie.

i love crappy movies and let me tell you this one takes the cake. it has the worst acting ever. the basic plot of the movie would have been great if they had started to action earlier in the film cuz the only real action is about 20 minutes before the movie is over when they are fighting the monster and ten minutes later that is over and they're at prom. and seriously what the heck is up with that loser "actor" they have as the boyfriend of that girl. but i still love this movie, i've seen it like 15 times and i always force my friends to watch it.